Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 The guy has saggy man-tits. You don't have to be borderline to be a bit turned off by that. If his chest isn't pert, then I don't even want to think about his arse-cheeks. Story's imagery makes my scrotum feel like it's been dipped in ice water. I'm off to find a rad for my nads.
Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 In the twenty months Ive been here the girl has been in love with like twenty guys Go fluff your pillow!
dropdeadlegs Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I don't think spookie is bpd. She's 20 something and love has a different meaning at that age. No, it's not the meaning I have for love. I will guess that my own meaning could change over the next decade. I'd like to think that it's set. but experience tells me differently. Idealizing a partner is par for the course in the 20's, though. EDIT: saggy man tits....that's tough to ignore.
Storyrider Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 If his chest isn't pert, then I don't even want to think about his arse-cheeks. Story's imagery makes my scrotum feel like it's been dipped in ice water. I'm off to find a rad for my nads. Well, and also the part about him not wanting to be on top because he doesn't have the stamina?! That isn't very inspiring.
Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Idealizing a partner is par for the course in the 20's, though. Forget the course, I was still trying to find the first hole.
e.clipse Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Or should I go with my "heart" and attempt to find someone who gives me butterflies, rather than trying to manufacture them by changing this guy to suit my specifications? well, spook, you are certainly not a monster. i don't even see why you would say such a thing. but of what you wrote, i'd suggest you follow this course. if you try to fabricate butterflies, then you are doomed to try to fabricate all else that should come naturally. case in point, you trying to change him. i understand the types of changes that you think you can get him to make, i think. and perhaps you are right that they could benefit him in the long-run, even if you are no longer in the photo. however, understand that these changes need to come from a desire from within him to change, not you. did you read the repulse test thread? you should, if you haven't. the way you describe your ex, well, you love all of that because you loved (love?) him as a person and accepted him, flaws and all. here, you should be in a lovey-dovey stage with this guy, and yet somehow he repulses you. surely you can see the huge problem there. his flab might very well end up being there for a long time, but if your heart was there too, chances are you wouldn't notice it much. but you do, so something tells me your heart is definitely not there, even if you might want it to be. I don't get how people can change there mind about something so quickly :/ if you are going to be having sex with someone at least make sure your are committed to the relationship before you do so , the guys just going to feel used. You should restrain yourself from saying you love anymore people until you actually mean it. well, i don't really understand that, either. i also agree that if spookie breaks up with this guy, he might very well feel used. however, spookie has that right. i don't believe he was a conquest or that she intended to string him along for superficial and egotistical reasons; rather, she is dealing with failed expectations. granted, these are expectations she made up herself, but the truth remains that if this guy does not fulfill them, no matter how great he might be, then he is not the guy for her. and she has the right to not want to be with someone. definitely. I don't WANT to be superficial. I really don't. But, I guess that I am. you just inherently do not want to be with the guy, spook. it seems to me that now you are trying to zero-in and nit-pick the slightest thing in order add to his negatives. you don't have to pull the guy apart. you don't need to validate this feeling with tangible flaws, really. you are not the bad guy here. and i also seriously doubt you have BPD.
Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Well, and also the part about him not wanting to be on top because he doesn't have the stamina?! That isn't very inspiring. Exactly. I'd jump from the roof, but you probably wouldn't want to associate with somebody who's just popped out of the gutter. And you might need some protection.
e.clipse Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 In the twenty months Ive been here the girl has been in love with like twenty guys she can correct me if i'm wrong, but i believe that spookie has really been in love with only one guy in her entire life. then again, i could very well be projecting.
oppath Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Be careful when you say BPD. To some it means bipolar personality disorder and to others it means borderline. Sometimes she displays borderline traits but most borderline people intensely question their own worth and value and they are often quick to anger too. Spookie doesn't display those traits. Her relationship attachments and impulsive behavior, however, are traits of borderline. That doesn't mean she has it. She also has an non supportive family and had to endure a breakup and an abortion, both of which can impact you at her age. A lot of what she is experiencing is normal for a 22 year old. Spookie, be careful with AS guy. I'd give it one more week. But if you break up with him, make it all about you, and apologize profusely. He is going to be hurt. I bet he is giddy on the inside, and for the first time in his life, he probably feels normal. Be sure to validate him extensively. He will want to feel like he is adequate, lovable, and that your relationship, while very short, was real. I'm serious. You can intensely damage him. Have you been in therapy? Can you see a therapist at your college? I'd go into counseling -- because I do think you could use it and it's free -- and I'd ask "how can I breakup with someone with aspergers." I suspect finally obtaining these things at his age, and finally feeling normal or feeling love for the first time, that he'll feel unlovable and inadequate and deceived. Be sure to validate him and leave him feeling like he has worth!!
Storyrider Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Exactly. I'd jump from the roof, but you probably wouldn't want to associate with somebody who's just popped out of the gutter. And you might need some protection. You completely lost me on this one. Care to explain? On the not wanting to be on top thing, b/c it is too difficult for him, if he can't do some pelvic thrusts, he doesn't deserve to get lucky. He has to work for it at least a little bit...I'm just sayin....
Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 she can correct me if i'm wrong, but i believe that spookie has really been in love with only one guy in her entire life. That's powerful stuff. It's hard to escape the "first love" vortex, especially when his saggy man-tits aren't all that aerodynamic.
burning 4 revenge Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 On the not wanting to be on top thing, b/c it is too difficult for him, if he can't do some pelvic thrusts, he doesn't deserve to get lucky. He has to work for it at least a little bit...I'm just sayin....My cousin Peter is so lazy he tells me that the only sex he has with his wife is when she blows him Stop being so superficial
Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 You completely lost me on this one. Care to explain? I reads like gibberish! The moment is gone. Sorry.
Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 My cousin Peter is so lazy he tells me that the only sex he has with his wife is when she blows him Interesting. Does he vote Democrat?
Storyrider Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I reads like gibberish! No, you reads pretty good. But you writes funny.
Arch Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 well, i don't really understand that, either. i also agree that if spookie breaks up with this guy, he might very well feel used. however, spookie has that right. i don't believe he was a conquest or that she intended to string him along for superficial and egotistical reasons; rather, she is dealing with failed expectations. granted, these are expectations she made up herself, but the truth remains that if this guy does not fulfill them, no matter how great he might be, then he is not the guy for her. and she has the right to not want to be with someone. definitely. Did you see how like 2 weeks ago she was completely infatuated with him and now its complete disgust? I don't see how anyone without some type of disorder could accomplish that. But I don't understand people so just disregard what I say :/
burning 4 revenge Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Interesting. Does he vote Democrat?I dont think he votes unless it involves casinos
Dumbledore Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 No, you reads pretty good. But you writes funny. I dont think he votes unless it involves casinos Good point!
BlueEyedGirl Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Since I beleive that I have Borderline, I have read extensively on the subject. I have to say that from reading LS both spookie and shadowplay strongly display BPD traits.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I think she should just leave, he's already "Destined" to cheat, sooner or later. The way she feels right now is very disturbing. But the problem isnt with him, it all on her!!!! She's the one with the issues!
lino Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 It almost sounds like it was all about the conquest for you. that's it 100% from when I read about this fling with this guy I totally knew she'd get bored of her new toy soon enough. The guy is really going to be shattered
BlueEyedGirl Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 that's it 100% from when I read about this fling with this guy I totally knew she'd get bored of her new toy soon enough. The guy is really going to be shattered What is she supposed to do? Marry him? OMG! The way I see it, she did him a favour, he is not a virgin anymore. That's what happens in relationships, 99% of the time one person ends up getting hurt. He will live.
Arch Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 What is she supposed to do? Marry him? OMG! The way I see it, she did him a favour, he is not a virgin anymore. That's what happens in relationships, 99% of the time one person ends up getting hurt. He will live. You don't for 3 weeks tell someone how much you love being around them then abruptly say you hate them, only 50% of marriages end in divorce so your 99% figure isn't quite right. She should apologize and avoid repeating this again, she got with the guy knowing his problems - now she is bitching about it.
lino Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 What is she supposed to do? Marry him? OMG! The way I see it, she did him a favour, he is not a virgin anymore. That's what happens in relationships, 99% of the time one person ends up getting hurt. He will live. shouldn't have bothered with him in the 1st place, thats what. Agree with the above post by Arch. his nerdiness, whimpiness, flabby skin, skinny frame, useless nerdy facts, whatever else was there from the get go, he didn't acquire it over the time she knew him. She was kidding herself all along. If I started talking on LS about some fat & ugly girl I was seeing and then saying how she might be the one, etc then a couple of weeks later said 'oh man I gotta dump this chick she's too fat & ugly for me!' I'd be crucified in the highest order by the female members & some male members here. And losing your virginity in that way is cool if you're in high school & it's an older girl that you lose it to but being in your mid 20s & losing it to a younger girl who is just using you as a toy is something that will really leave that guy demoralised, he will know it too.
BlueEyedGirl Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 You don't for 3 weeks tell someone how much you love being around them then abruptly say you hate them, only 50% of marriages end in divorce so your 99% figure isn't quite right. She should apologize and avoid repeating this again, she got with the guy knowing his problems - now she is bitching about it. Umm I'm not talking about marriages, I'm talking about about RELATIONSHIPS. How many relationships end up in marriage? Very few. I'm not even getting into how many marriages that don't break up are actually good and happy... Don't take out your frustration about women that have dumped you out on spookie
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