Author growingimpatient Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 WWIS: I have never, nor will I even attempt to tell him what is best for his kids. I do have a little boy, and I was speaking on my own experiences with divorce. Not only w/my ex-H, but my parents as well. As far at that time frame, you couldn't be more right. I have to take control over my life. BNB: That is absolutely what I'm saying. I am not defending myself or my R w/this man. We screwed up, no doubt about that! Now time to fix it (or attempt to) one way or the other. NF: Mom wasn't "in" the hospital. (sorry I didn't update, was posting as it was going on) Was checked for anxiety, given anti-D's and sent home. She didn't want the kids to know, didn't want to frighten them. LB: I appreciate what your saying, and I agree on alot of levels. Sometimes the person your with can bring out the worst in you. Or sometimes its just YOU! That will all remain to be seen. As far as counseling goes...your 100% right!! I think it would do everyone some good. Yes, including his kids. Thanks everyone for your responses. Truth is..right, wrong, or indifferent: I love him. I can't defend him, or myself for that matter. Can't change what has happened, all we can attempt to do now is make the best out of a horrible situation.
Teresa55 Posted February 14, 2008 Posted February 14, 2008 You've been involved with him two years, which is a long time as you know. For two years he has not chosen to be with you except to sneak around. She now knows of the affair and still he doesn't leave. He thought she would kick him out, so he stays because she did not kick him out? What is he waiting for....for her to call the moving van, pack his things for him, and to personally deliver him to your door? I think he is playing you like a fiddle. He has been married to this woman for 22 years. If their marriage was soooooo bad, why stick around 22 years? There must have been something there to keep him, and I'd be willing to bet that something is still there. Yeah, maybe the sex isn't as exciting (but it won't be with you after a few years either). I am sympathic to your plight as it does seem you love him. But I don't think you are thinking clearly. If he wanted to leave he would. I mean it isn't like he is afraid she will find out about the affair....she already knows. So, I would say what is keeping him with her is simply he doesn't want to leave........her. You say you are backing off, but I would lay odds you will be having sex with him again shortly. Ah, he's a happy man--got the wife he still cares for and some exciting sex on the side! If you want to see if he truly wants you, my advice is to REALLY back off--no contact at all and certainly NO sex. If he wants you, he will actually LEAVE and be with you fulltime.
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