smoochie Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 Ok, I am really pissed off. Bear with me, this is a little long.... I was with this guys for about 5-6 months. Friends first, then started sleeping together two months ago. We were pretty cool. We would hang out pretty often and he would invite me to his events. Everything was chill. I had just started dating again after 3 years of being by myself. (previous bf was abusive and wanted to get myself straight). He just left his ex-wife two months before we met. remember, we really were just friends in the beginning. I started panicking because my feelings were changing for him..started to open myself up to him. He encouraged me to be open and allow myself to trust. It seemed like as soon as I did this, he shut down. I mean on Sunday, I told him how I felt and as soon as he left, I realized something was off. We didn't talk for two days, although I texted and called once. He answered my texts but never inititated any for those two days. Needless to say, I was nervous. I had just opened up and he goes silent (no I love you stuff). On Wednesday, I write him a note detailing why I feel ignored. On Thursday, I send him a text and he responds. Then he texts me "we need to talk". He calls me and breaks up with me. Saying he is too angry, has unresolved issues, that he didn't realize until I opened myself up on Sunday. Ok, I take it on the chin and am pretty cool. I sent him an email asking some questions since we only talked for about 15 minutes on the phone. Most of the breakup talk was done over text after the phone convo. He didn't reply until today....didn't answer anything that I asked. So I called but got vm. I go up to his job to see him and he flips out. I have never gone up there before today. I get mad and he texts me never to contact him again. We argue on text for a while and I finally call and leave him a angry message. I said I didn't deserve how he treated me and deserved an apology. He called back and I cursed him out good. He didn't even respond. He only said "I never want to talk to you or want you to ever contact me again. I am hanging up now". And that was it. I am trying not to be hurt. I don't want to feel anything. I am mad but don't have room in my heart for anger and bitterness. What am I supposed to feel? What did I do wrong? And why did he treat me so badly? The breakup was smooth as far as I was concerned. I was nice, didn't trip or anything. The only contact I made since Thursday was the email and today. Did I deserve him telling me to leave his job and being mean with me? I really need some helpful responses. I never want to go through this again...especially when I believe I was the wronged party. Help.
9Lives Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 He just sounds like a jack/a**...what is with all the drama? If he like you, what did you say on Sunday that was so bad that he cant even talk. I hate being ignored. I think it is selfish.
prisonbreak Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 He is not worth your time. Don't not contact him anymore, what ever you do!!!! Your fortunate to have not wasted too much time with him. Don't be too hard on yourself.
mistie03 Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 When he acted strange and didn't call for a couple of days, that's where I would have left him alone. He sounds like an a**. You don't want to be with a guy like that. Write him off and go NC. I think that when he broke up with you, it sounds like he didn't want to answer any questions and especially didn't want you showing up at his job. He must have taken it as an intrusion and being too pushy. Who knows what his deal is? At this point, I'd just start erasing him from your mind and your phone book.
Author smoochie Posted February 10, 2008 Author Posted February 10, 2008 Thanks all. I actually already deleted him from my phone and even erased all the calls he made to me out of my house phone. I deleted his IM and all our emails already. In my email to him I even asked do you still want to have contact, if so, only email me or text because I don't think talking to you would be in my best interest. So it's not like I was "after" the guy. I don't know. The conversation on Sunday was me telling him I was going to be vulnerable in our relationship and he had the ability to hurt me now. What really pisses me off is I was fine being the way I was. He wanted me to open more. I thought he was a good guy. But all of a sudden, he treats me like Public Enemy #1. He told me my behavior was wrong. He hangs out with a bunch of lesbians and I really think they didn't want me around. They have alot of influence with him (which I think is a little unhealthy, not that they are lesbian but none of them are trying to go where he is in his life). Every since Saturday, they have been saying things to me about me in a negative way. I don't blame them. I just didn't see this side of him until now. We took 7 days to sort out our feelings because I needed a little time. He said he would call me in 7 days. He called when he said he would, told me how much he missed me and wanted to only be with me. This was last Friday. Sunday we had sex, had fun, watched the game and everything was fine but something just felt off after our talk. Jerk? I will keep trying to look at him like that. I just feel like I did something when I know I didnt. Just don't understand....
Author smoochie Posted February 10, 2008 Author Posted February 10, 2008 When he acted strange and didn't call for a couple of days, that's where I would have left him alone. He sounds like an a**. You don't want to be with a guy like that. Write him off and go NC. I think that when he broke up with you, it sounds like he didn't want to answer any questions and especially didn't want you showing up at his job. He must have taken it as an intrusion and being too pushy. Who knows what his deal is? At this point, I'd just start erasing him from your mind and your phone book. You're right. I think he felt I was being intrusive. He tried to say I don't like at my whole behavior. What freakin behavior...I just tell you how I feel and you go silent. How did he think I was supposed to feel? He even read my journal and knew fully well the process I went through to get where I was with him. You would think he would have taken that into consideration when dealing with me. I am pissed. I am trying not to give into my sadness because I do not want to be sad or depressed over this anymore.
Author smoochie Posted February 10, 2008 Author Posted February 10, 2008 Can someone help me please help me not internalize this? I know I wasn't wrong, and if I was can someone point that out to me? I feel like crap. NOt so much because of the breakup but because of the way he treated me behind it. He said I crossed the line by coming up there. How was I supposed to know that? I am having a hard time and the last time I felt like this I had to take meds. I never want to do that again. Maybe because this was the first time in years that i open myself up and look what happens. Either I suck at this stuff and should just concentrate on other things besides ever dating again. I am just not good at this I guesss. I feel like a complete loser.
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