Issues & tissues Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 It's been a little over a month now since my ex split up with me and I've noticed that no matter what I'm talking about I often use "we" or "our" or "us" in conversation. We were together for a very long time - ten years and like a lot of couples my identity was wrapped up in two people. Just wondering whether anyone else has noticed themselves doing this, or if you used to, at what point did you finally start reverting to "I" or "my" or "me"? Just curious.
Lyssa Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 I think it will probably take longer for you, considering the length of your R. I was with my previous X for about 2 and half years - it took me about less than 5 months to get back to using "I" or "my". I really wanted to get rid of it - I felt like I wasn't independent. I can't quite explain what I felt back then but I remember feeling very glad to have gotten over using "we", "ours".
Always Wrong Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 It's been a little over a month now since my ex split up with me and I've noticed that no matter what I'm talking about I often use "we" or "our" or "us" in conversation. We were together for a very long time - ten years and like a lot of couples my identity was wrapped up in two people. Just wondering whether anyone else has noticed themselves doing this, or if you used to, at what point did you finally start reverting to "I" or "my" or "me"? Just curious. Yes, and I went and rescued a little dog from the execution chamber at the so called animal shelter so I could continue to say "we", only I'm refering to me and the dog now. I know, a little odd, but it helped and still does, and I just love that little dog. Doing things to direct a new focus of energy toward, really quickens the healing process. And a new puppy is a daily redirection of energy to a creature that will give you unconditional love. The initial potty training can really take your mind off the ex, or in some cases make you think of the ex when you're picking "it" up! If trying to stay friends with the ex is painful, don't do it. Your quick, healthy recovery, and return to a normal life is more important to you than anything, except maybe your job. But aside from that, take a look at this stress evaluation chart. You can actually make yourself sick with stress. You may have other life factors working against your recovery. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Always Wrong Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 I think it will probably take longer for you, considering the length of your R. I was with my previous X for about 2 and half years - it took me about less than 5 months to get back to using "I" or "my". I really wanted to get rid of it - I felt like I wasn't independent. I can't quite explain what I felt back then but I remember feeling very glad to have gotten over using "we", "ours". Hi lyssa! I think you have most likely already seen these, but here they are again if you haven't. http://www.uiowa.edu/~ucs/griefloss.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Trialbyfire Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 It does take time to get over the royal "we". I even caught myself using "we" about a month ago, while chatting with a friend. Considering that I've been divorced since May 2007, nvm the separation period before that, it's an odd slip. One thing's for certain. I'm glad there's no "we" and there's an "I".
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