sedgwick Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 A lot of people on here have talked about how their exes have forgotten them. I'm guilty of doing this myself. So I asked myself tonight how many times a day I think of my exes. Whether I was the dumper or the dumpee, I probably think of all of them every day. Not in a longing way, just in a sort of "this is who I am and these are the people who have affected me" kind of way. I think of the other people in my life -- my friends, people who were once my friends but aren't anymore, people I haven't seen for years -- frequently as well. It's the daily remembering of who we are. With almost all of my exes, there's something about them I miss. This doesn't mean I still want them or want to get back together with them (except for the most recent one.) It just means there was something about them I liked that I remember fondly. With one of them I remember how much fun we had playing video games and going on road trips. One I miss the sex. One I miss the way he dressed. One was a really good photographer, and he took some great photos I had hanging on my wall. A couple of those people I really dislike now, but there's still SOMETHING about them I remember as being attractive or fun. There are specific incidents that were funny, and I remember the things we laughed about. So chances are good that even if they hate us, they haven't forgotten we exist, and they remember something about us fondly. We may never know what it is, but the thought is kind of comforting.
miami45uconn Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 I guess your right. However id rather them just hate me and not think of me. Any thought that they are thinking of me and possibly smiling could only bring hope or unwanted feelings back into my life. I dont even ant to look back and smile because ill only know what should have been.
Jade 02 Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 I like what you had to say sedge,and I love your atavar(sp lol). So true about our ex,s,and I also think about taking that one fondly thing from each,and putting it into one man,boy we would have almost a perfect guy huh? Have a good day anyways,Your avatar (sp) makes me think you are so free in the mind,and body just smoothly going along in life,I love it. Jade:)
Issues & tissues Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 I agree. I'd like to think that when the dust has settled, he will think fondly of me and I of him and even though we are no longer together, we had wonderful memories of being together and brought out the best (and not just the worst) in each other.
Author sedgwick Posted February 9, 2008 Author Posted February 9, 2008 Jmina, I can promise you she does. It sounds like the two of you had something really special and she got scared and ran. From what you've said about her it also seems like she couldn't deal with her own sexuality. Those are not your issues. From what I've seen of you here you are clearly beautiful and wise. I feel fairly certain that in your situation it has very little to do with you and more to do with her discomfort with herself. Jade, thank you. I'm a yogi/dancer/gymnast. It saves me.
s_n_d Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 That is so true, Sedgwick. Thats the only thing that comforts me every night; Knowing that he has constant reminders of me everyday.
PinkRibbon Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 I imagine mine thinks about me at least one a day. How much he hates me and is glad I am gone from his life is about all I imagine he thinks. I imagine it is hard to think of me fondly when he is bedding a young college girl.
wyrllish Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 I know my ex things of me now and then from how she contacts me but I do hope their mainly positives. This week is coming up on the longest we haven't had contact and it's getting to me. The day after she saw me last she texted me "...and wow you are looking good". Then called/texted out of the blue asking if I had a GF(I am the dumpee btw). I still cling to hope, probably shouldn't I know, but taking it a day at a time. *Shrug*
HoustonScrewed Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 You have to know that they think of you as well, you just can't dwell on your ex's you have to look forward at all times!
onmyownagain Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I left my wife and I think about her all the time! Just because I had to end it doesn't mean it is any less painful for me than it is for her. I think if you leave for someone else then it might be different, but believe me, there isn't someone else and I really do miss her a lot.
bustertypsy Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 I left my wife and I think about her all the time! Just because I had to end it doesn't mean it is any less painful for me than it is for her. I think if you leave for someone else then it might be different, but believe me, there isn't someone else and I really do miss her a lot. Do you regret leaving her? Do you want her back?
onmyownagain Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Do you regret leaving her? Do you want her back? I don't regret leaving her, it is the best for both of us in the long run. But I wont go back, hopefully I will be strong enough to stay away.
MartianChronicles Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 i promise, my ex is still thinking of me [ it's him who dumped me ] as a matter of fact, i keep receiving emails from him, though i made it clear i never wanted to hear anything from him, ever.
dfreeman Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 For me, this has been one of my biggest stumbling blocks - I am clear on the fact that me and my ex don't belong together, I am clear on the importance of NC right now, but not being able to talk to her at all and find out whether or not she just thinks I'm a piece of sh[beep]t is eating a hole in me. My ex shut me out and got very angry with me during the split - more of the same, but on a much bigger scale than like she did when I tried to talk heart to heart with her about problems during our relationship. My only hope now is that she is not trashing me too bad in front of her daughter with whom I am still hoping to have a close friendship with in the future. I think it is very natural to feel lonely and forgotten about during NC because trying to forget about each other (in certain ways) is the very reason you are spending time apart. This has been extremely difficult in my case, because although we have not had any personal contact, we are still exchanging polite (but very cold and curt coming my way) e-mails on matters relating to her buyout of the house we own together. I hate it - in order to move on and get over her, I can't really have any friendly conversations with her, but I still get to feel her rage as we discuss fixing the stupid leaky roof!!! I guess sheer self-confidence and knowing that your good qualities will outlast the bad ones in the minds of those that you spent every day over the last 5 years with is one of the goals of recovery? Good luck to all that are struggling with this - I am really strong on most other areas of my recent breakup, but this part has me in tears on a daily basis.
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