Woggle Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 This weekend a childhood friend of mine from New York in the area with his wife that he just married so we hung out last night and seeing another genuinely happy couple helped me to breathe a major sigh of life. It was starting to feel that I was married to the only woman that did not resent her husband and blame him for all her unhapiness. I hated being surrounded by such misery but spending some time around a couple that actually does love each other makes me feel like my wife and I are not some anomaly.
Lovelybird Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 there are lots of wonderful couples:love:. what you feed your heart and mind is very important. the more fear and negative you feed yourself, the more you will fear and bitter; vice versa
Mr. Lucky Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 This weekend a childhood friend of mine from New York in the area with his wife that he just married so we hung out last night and seeing another genuinely happy couple helped me to breathe a major sigh of life. Woggle, do you ever notice that your perception of your own marriage always seems to be a reflection of what ever's going on around you? If you're hangin' with happy couples, your relationship is good. If you're around friends whose marriages are struggling, then your's must be suspect. We've either discovered a flaw in your thinking or a very easy way to fix your insecurity problem. Up to you to decide... Mr. Lucky
IfWishesWereHorses Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 GI/GO... Garbage in/Garbage out.... it's what I tell my kids constantly. Maybe surrounding yourself with what you hope to have is the answer. This ofcourse would mean admitting that your friend isn't good for your marriage. Not to say you should abandon him, just that you should add some positive influences. Glad you've found some hope! IWWH
Pyro Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Start hanging out with more married couples. Part of your problem is your friend who is going through a bitter divorce. His attitude is rubbing off on you.
melodymatters Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Hey Wogs, Gald to hear it ! What a gift the universe has given you ! You now get to learn something really important about yourself for FREE. We all have quirks. One of yours is that you are "mood sensitive". You pick up the vibes from people around you, I am like that myself. Just like people with compromised immune systems shouldn't hang out in hospitals, Alcoholics shouldn't hang around bars, you shouldn't hang around situations that reinforce your negative fears about marriage and woman. And if you find yourself in these situations. YOU need to be a grown up, and come home and take a long hot shower and realize that they, are not you, your wife, is not that cheating whore in the movie you just saw, etc. As Clint Eastwood said: " A mans got to know his limitations". Nothing wrong with that, Clint said it for Gods sake, not Gloria Steinam ! Now you know yours. Go forth and be happy with what you have, and don't let any f*ckwad, male OR female, mess it up for you !!!!
annieo Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 Hey Wogs, Gald to hear it ! What a gift the universe has given you ! You now get to learn something really important about yourself for FREE. We all have quirks. One of yours is that you are "mood sensitive". You pick up the vibes from people around you, I am like that myself. Just like people with compromised immune systems shouldn't hang out in hospitals, Alcoholics shouldn't hang around bars, you shouldn't hang around situations that reinforce your negative fears about marriage and woman. And if you find yourself in these situations. YOU need to be a grown up, and come home and take a long hot shower and realize that they, are not you, your wife, is not that cheating whore in the movie you just saw, etc. As Clint Eastwood said: " A mans got to know his limitations". Nothing wrong with that, Clint said it for Gods sake, not Gloria Steinam ! Now you know yours. Go forth and be happy with what you have, and don't let any f*ckwad, male OR female, mess it up for you !!!! Well said, Melody, and I can relate as well. Sometimes, I find just reading some of the posts on LS makes me see my h in a very negative light. If I were to believe every poster, I'd assume that all men are cheating bastards and all women are selfish bitches, and that I am just deluding myself if I think otherwise. I just have to take a break from the negativity sometimes. Woggle, I am glad you've rediscovered the good in relationships. Good for you and for your wife. Thoughts are things (as some wise person once said) and we often get what we expect from others. I for one am going to try to expect honesty and kindness, and if that makes me a fool, so be it.
blind_otter Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 How can you feel one way about your spouse, and then suddenly less than a week later, feel the polar opposite?? I really am just curious. I have a friend IRL who is like that with her H and I can't figure out how someone can go from hot to cold like that, so quickly.
Author Woggle Posted February 13, 2008 Author Posted February 13, 2008 How can you feel one way about your spouse, and then suddenly less than a week later, feel the polar opposite?? I really am just curious. I have a friend IRL who is like that with her H and I can't figure out how someone can go from hot to cold like that, so quickly. Because I am conflicted about things. I love my wife and I want this to work but I don't want to find myself in the position so many men find themselves in which is why I keep looking for positive reinforcement that it is possible to have a happy marriage these days because it seems like all women will eventually turn on a man. Just seeing another happy couple makes me feel better but then I read some of these posts and look at some of the couples and I start getting paranoid. I tend to yo-yo back and forth
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2008 Posted February 13, 2008 which is why I keep looking for positive reinforcement Wogs, you get that positive reinforcement from your wife, not from what goes on around you. No more yo-yo!! ANYTIME you start to feel yourself slipping, call your wife and tell her you love her - No doubt in my mind she'll tell you she loves you back. LET HER settle your nerves instead of lettting bad thoughts creep into your head.
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