Pyro Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 No, I'd understand that he has changed his mind because he is in a moment that he doesn't want to alter. I really wouldn't care. Basically that is saying that you would ruin his fun.
Ariadne Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Basically that is saying that you would ruin his fun. No. That is saying that he likes things as they are. That's all.
Pyro Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 If you say so........ Alright, back on topic here.
Author ShoeGirl Posted February 10, 2008 Author Posted February 10, 2008 Ariadne - he is treating me like crap because last time I checked we are in a relationship, most couples like to spend time together, and we haven't been lately at all. We both have demanding jobs so it is usually a struggle to find time but we have been making it work up until this last few weeks when he basically quit trying to see me. The last 2 times I saw him was at 12:30am when we both had to work the next morning, and at that the last time I saw him at all was a week and a half ago. I am not complaining about that but I am getting frustrated with the fact that we used to pick one night during the weekend to see each other, even if it is with one of our groups of friends, since his friends like me and my friends like him, but the last three weeks it has been us hanging out with our own friends and not seeing each other at all. I am feeling like he doesn't want to be with me, I don't know if that is his intention or not but that's the impression I am getting. You are right he can go do what he wants and normally I am happy to let him go out with his friends, I am not controlling at all, but when he invites me one minute then uninvites me the next (mind you his best friend was in the background yelling don't listen to him come hang out anyway, so it's obvious it's his decision not his friends...) I get frustrated. If he likes things how they are without me being around then maybe he doesn't need to be in a relationship with me. You probably won't agree with me but that's how I see it. Pyro- Thanks for trying to explain to ariadne for me, I appreciate it! ------- I called him a while ago and told him that we need to sit down and talk soon, he said ok and offered to meet me for a drink in an hour or so. I'll be back tonight or maybe tomorrow, depends on if I want to go out after I talk to him or not
Pyro Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 I called him a while ago and told him that we need to sit down and talk soon, he said ok and offered to meet me for a drink in an hour or so. I'll be back tonight or maybe tomorrow, depends on if I want to go out after I talk to him or not Good luck with that. I hope things turn around for the better, but if you come back on here in a week or so with another problem, then it is a problem. Have fun Doc. and again, good luck.
Ariadne Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 Well, couples like to spend time together, and we haven't been lately at all...last time I saw him at all was a week and a half ago. Well, it may be that he had the superbowl thing getting in the way, or it may be that this is not a soulmate connection. It could be that it's not. when he invites me one minute then uninvites me the next ..I get frustrated. Yes, I can imagine that is frustrating. Good luck though, hope you get to talk. Ariadne
norajane Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 We did work out the whole thing when he didn't know what he wanted, so it's not just building up. How exactly did you work out the whole thing? Did you stop feeling insecure? Did you stop feeling hurt about it? Did you stop wondering what he really wants? Did he say he loved you and was sure he wanted to be with you? Do his ACTIONS match up with those words? It's not resolved if he's still treating you like he's not sure he wants to be with you... most couples like to spend time together, and we haven't been lately at all. we have been making it work up until this last few weeks when he basically quit trying to see me. the last three weeks it has been us hanging out with our own friends and not seeing each other at all. I am feeling like he doesn't want to be with me, I don't know if that is his intention or not but that's the impression I am getting. If he likes things how they are without me being around then maybe he doesn't need to be in a relationship with me. Do you see why I question whether you "resolved" anything?
Author ShoeGirl Posted February 10, 2008 Author Posted February 10, 2008 How exactly did you work out the whole thing? He called me and said that he shouldn't have spoken so quickly, he was freaking out for a few reasons... his brother's wife filed for divorce right before all of that happened and his parents have told him repeatedly that they like me because I am so much like his sister in law. He freaked out thinking that him and I would end up in the same position as his brother and sister in law. The same week his ex from a few years ago called him out of the blue asking for his DNA because she thought her 3 year old might be his and he was afraid to tell me. As it turns out there is no way her son can be his so that has been resolved, he finally told me this part last week after he figured out that he wasn't his kid. Did you stop feeling insecure? Did you stop feeling hurt about it? Did you stop wondering what he really wants? I did stop feeling insecure and hurt about him saying that he didn't know if he wanted to be in a relationship. I talked to him a lot about what he wanted and he always said that he loves being with me and can't imagine being with anyone else. I thought everything was better. Did he say he loved you and was sure he wanted to be with you? Do his ACTIONS match up with those words? We haven't said that we love each other, but he has said that he is happier now than he has been in a long time. His actions were matching up until the last week and a half. It's not like him to go that long without seeing me.
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