mark1210 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 A little background, I've known this woman for a little more than month and out of which we've been dating for a little over 3 weeks. She is going out of town next week and I decided to purchase a little teddy bear that's holding a "Happy Valinetines Day" baloon along with candy and a card that essentially says I'm glad we met and am looking forward to finding out more about you. She is coming over tonight, so I figured I'd surprise her with that along with her favorite wine. Just relax, watch movies and enjoy each other's company. Here is where the dillema is....my guy friends are telling me its too much too soon and it's more of a relationship kind of gesture. My lady friends are telling me it shows that I'm truly interested and put forth some effort and its not too much. Considering her and I have only kissed and are only dating is it a bit much? What are your thoughts?
sb129 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I think the balloon and teddy are a little too much for today, after all, Valentines Day isn't till next week. I know she is going out of town, but you could give it to her when she gets back? Or at the end of the evening, give her the card...I would be perfectly happy with a card after such a short time dating, but Valentines day isn't a big deal to me, and I would be just as happy with a nice text on the day, or a call. I like the way you say you are glad you met her, and you are looking forward to getting to know her more, I think thats exactly the right thing to say at this early stage. Sorry if this busts your bubble, but too much too soon can really put stress on a new R. Keep it casual.
Author mark1210 Posted February 8, 2008 Author Posted February 8, 2008 Thanks, I should have specified more, she will be gone for 2 weeks so I intended to give her the item tonight which woudl be the last time I saw her until she returned. You raised a good alternative..just text or call her saying Happy Valentines. Perhaps the bear and baloon was a bit much. Oh well, I can return it or just hang on to it i suppose. Thanks for the input =)
sb129 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I think your intentions are great. I am not a bear/ balloon type of girl- but I am quite low maintenance when it comes to Valentines Day, probably a result of growing up in a country where it wasn't a big deal. (it is a bit more now, but my attitude is the same) definitely give her the card, I like that idea alot.
Jilly Bean Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I'd give her the whole shebang. I think it's a great gesture without being too mushy. I vote YES.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I think its a great gesture!!!!! I would give it to her. besides Valentines day is coming up and thats the reason for the teddy and the chocolate. I think if it wasnt Valentines day then it would be considered a bit much.
4givrnt4gtr Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I say give it to her. I mean, even if she is a non vday chick, the fact that you thought of her and got her those things will mean a lot. If you want her to know ur seriously interested, do it. She'll love it. I honestly dont think many women will not be pleased with a v-day gift!
latefragment Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 (edited) i vote flowers & card. teddy bear + balloons is too childish, like a teenager, and a little too "tangible" of a gift... what do you think of flowers & card??? (not a huge bouquet either, you've only been on a couple dates...) also, when you give it to her, don't give it to her with a huge, knight in shining armor flourish (you guys just met for chrissakes). just give it to her casually like, 'oh i just picked these up the other day'. gauge her reaction. if she is excited, then start to get mushy. if she is like, uhhhh isn't this too soon, then you can say, 'oh i was at the grocery store and saw those flowers and thought of you.' what do you think??! Edited February 8, 2008 by latefragment
curiousnycgirl Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I love the teddy bear and chocolate idea! Flowers die. It is sweet, topical and light hearted - I think it's perfect. I dated a guy for a few years (ages ago) who bought me jewelry, took me out to dinner and dancing, and when we got to my place, I found he had snuck a teddy bear onto my bed. That teddy bear was my favorite part of the whole evening. I'd say go for it. I think you are sweet, and it should show her you're a keeper.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I love the teddy bear and chocolate idea! Flowers die. It is sweet, topical and light hearted - I think it's perfect. I dated a guy for a few years (ages ago) who bought me jewelry, took me out to dinner and dancing, and when we got to my place, I found he had snuck a teddy bear onto my bed. That teddy bear was my favorite part of the whole evening. I'd say go for it. I think you are sweet, and it should show her you're a keeper. Yea I agree about the flowers. I bought myself some flowers the other day just to cher myself up a bit, and they are dead!! its only been two days!! hahah give her something that will last and memorable. If you two decide to become exclusive and together for a while, she can pull out all the things you ever got her. (is that too cheesy?)
latefragment Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 they've only been dating for 3 weeks! I think a teddy bear is too much for that short of a time, really.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 they've only been dating for 3 weeks! I think a teddy bear is too much for that short of a time, really. Honestly, Its just a teddy bear! its Valentines Day ! If he was to get her a teddy bear , chocolate, and a card saying "im glad we met" on an non- holiday, then yes I would say its to much.
Storyrider Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Judge based on what you know about her personality and her tastes, not on the popular vote.
curiousnycgirl Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Honestly, Its just a teddy bear! its Valentines Day ! If he was to get her a teddy bear , chocolate, and a card saying "im glad we met" on an non- holiday, then yes I would say its to much. I totally agree with this. Valentine's day teddy bears are cheap let's be honest, it's just so sweet! Don't go buy a steif or anything, just one of those silly little teddy bears you can find in the grocery store, or hallmark. I think it's lovely.
klee Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 I think it is sweet, too! Give it to her... Even if she is not into vday, it is still a nice thing to do.
garnet Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 I vote no. I think the teddy bear and balloons does seem very high school and wouldn't be into that myself. However, I agree that it really depends on the girl's personality. Only you know her and have a sense of what she would like.
Sand&Water Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 RE: Oh God no. No, that's not a great idea, Mark1210. A teddy bear, some candy, and a card. Zany. Yuck! You're not going out with a 10 year old. There is no perfect Valentine's Day gift. With that said, don't prove yourself. Essentially, that is what you're trying to do by buying her a lavish gift. You are with her, you don't have to prove your interest in her. She knows. So, "Just Be" in the moment. But if you're still looking for ideas then I suggest one of two things: (1) Flowers. That's it. Nothing more. Flowers are simple. Sophisticated. Exquisite. IF you get her a teddy bear, and the relationship falls apart -what will she do with the teddy bear? Burn it. (2) Breakfast. Cooking it together, or eat out at a nice breakfast place. It's the time you spend with her that she's fall in love with. Sand&Water
compassion42 Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Be yourself-you purchased these items and obviously did so with pure intentions based upon what you thought would be nice and what you feel she would like. I think that's what really is important here. Any gesture that comes from the heart is perfect.
sb129 Posted February 11, 2008 Posted February 11, 2008 Judge based on what you know about her personality and her tastes, not on the popular vote. Best advice. I am not a teddybear girl. But you would probably get to know that about me pretty quickly. So, what happened? Update please!
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