base618 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 So I'm an engineer, and I'm pretty methodical when it comes to documentation and stuff. I have every email that my wife sent me since 2000 when we first met. Part of me wants to delete everything. The engineer in me wants to back them up and archive them like everything else. Has anyone ever had the need, or have a good reason to keep that kind of information? I have copies of all the texts her and the OM sent to each other. I hate having them, as I catch myself reading them, but would they ever be useful in the future? Same goes for pictures. There are a lot of pictures that I would keep if she wasn't in them. I can't bring myself to delete pictures of vacations and stuff incase I would want them in the future. But I can't come up with a good reason for wanting them in the future. I have computer files from 1995 that I can't delete. It's not so much emotional than it is being a 'nerd'. Anyone ever go back to reference any of this stuff? I was thinking I could put it all on a DVD so it isn't so easily accessible to look at, but if I ever needed it, it would be there.
amaysngrace Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Is your divorce final? Because the emails between her and her OM could come in handy. I wouldn't get rid of them unless the divorce is done. I would get rid of anything that she is a part of. None of it means anything anymore. The only thing I see happening by holding on to that stuff is you revisiting it at some point leaving you to feel like crap. Put it on a DVD if you must hold on to it, like you said. But I think when we dwell on somebody else we are neglecting to see ourselves. Cleaning out that clutter is therapeutic. It gets rid of the bad mojo and leaves space for something better.
Author base618 Posted February 8, 2008 Author Posted February 8, 2008 Divorce isn't final yet... 53 days to go on the mandatory 90 day waiting period. I guess I'll save the texts and other 'evidence', but get rid of the other stuff. She's moving 750 miles away in the beginning of March. Was going to celebrate the day she leaves, I'll wait until then to delete everything, make it part of the celebration. The OM's house is for sale, and he's going with her, so they'll both be far away (currently live 4 miles away in same town). Things are looking up....
Art_Critic Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Anytime I have deleted all emails and text messages I have NEVER looked back and wished I hadn't done it.. It is all part of the cleansing process.. moving on.. You could start the cleaning out of the older emails that your wife sent you that have nothing to do with the divorce.. Please don't keep the lovey dovey emails.. delete those now...
SeraBella Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I also have trouble letting go. I'm an accountant and am used to keeping EVERYTHING for documentation and "just in case." In my professional experience, keeping everything has come in handy at times. We've had to go back to files maintained in the 40', 50's, 60's for settlements and such. However, in my personal life, I've found no need to go back to those things. I just cannot let them go. When it comes to pictures, I'm afraid I'll regret that I destroyed parts/years of my life. But I cannot bring myself to look at them. So what difference would it make if they were gone or still accessible? If it were me, I'd probably keep them...perhaps on one dvd like you suggested. And file it away somewhere. Maybe title it something code-name-ish, rather than something like "cheating whore no longer in my life." Well, I guess either one works.
Author base618 Posted February 8, 2008 Author Posted February 8, 2008 Well, just deleted every email with a date earlier than catching her in the affair, well, except the one a week earlier regarding scheduling another fertility appointment, figured that would help show how absurd things are. Felt good. Will move pics of her to a CD. It sucks, I have a lot of great pictures that she's in. I have (had) the coolest wedding picture ever. If you remember the commercial where the guy walks out of the house, kisses his wife, puts on a helmet and jumps off a cliff with a parachute, then drives away in a Suzuki Grand Vitera.... We got married on that cliff, and after the ceremony, I put on my rig and jumped off and there's a shot of me in mid air, with her in her white dress looking over the edge.... dammit, I wish I could still show people that, worked well having it on my desk at my new job starting converstaions.... oh well.
Ariadne Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 worked well having it on my desk at my new job starting converstaions.... oh well. Oh well, what can you do. She was an illusion. Not the real deal.
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