FooledOnce Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Once you've been dumped, there is nothing worse than hope. Hope forces your state of mind to change by the hour. One minute, I'll be excited. I'll think that despite everything that's happened, our connection can carry us through. I'll think about the things I'll do differently this time, about how we'll appreciate each other so much more now and be stronger because of all of this. We can do it if we can muster the courage! The next minute I'll think, 'she hasn't called me since we last spoke'. Did she not really mean those things she was saying? Did I read too much into every word? Was I only hearing what I wanted to hear? I'll feel insecure and wait for the phone to ring. Then I'll be angry. How could I put myself back in this ****ty situation? I said I wasn't going to see her ever again but then I did! Why would I agree to sit on her backburner? What was I thinking? How does she still have this much power over me? Am I EVER going to get on with my life? Then I'll think that this cycle is horrible I have to do something to get out. I'll think that I should call her up and tell her that her window of opportunity has closed with me; she's blown it and I hate her even more for it now. The excited/hopeful Fooled won't let me. I'll think I should send her flowers and letter that expresses how we could be happy without each other, but happiest with each other if we could make it work. The angry me says 'Yeah, feed her ego even more. Let her know you're sitting her pining for her. You're pathetic.' For all of those thinking of breaking NC, let me caution you that this is the road you are walking down.
casey001 Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I completly agree! Even with NC im still going down this road so cant imagine how bad it must be if your still in contact with the person!
BrianG Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 on that same road only a few miles back. What alternative do we have though? I know it sucks but the way I see it NC is our only choice. We already did everything we could do and its out of our hands. I am all ears on something that we can do besides NC, but I have not come up with anything that won't hurt me anymore than it already has.
cant let go Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I agree... Hope floats... and it sucks ass I wish I could kill it. I wish I could just get some laser cosmetic surgery that would locate all the hope in my body and zap it away. Hope is why I am disappointed everyday. I hope my hope gets hit by a bus.
ANGUISHEDandBROKEN Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 this sucks.... forget contact....dont think NC......just simply forget..... i wish there was a plug to pull on this....
s_n_d Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Even though Im doing NC, my life is exactly how you described yours as. Some days are better than others but Im so thankful for my family and friends.
Lucky555 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Finally finally finally these thoughts are my thoughts too. NC. And i think i am a fool for thinking this way...i thought i was the only one who did this. Apparently its natural! YAY I"M NOT CRAZY. lol I am reexamining my decisions though and choosing more wisely well hopefully.
Author FooledOnce Posted February 8, 2008 Author Posted February 8, 2008 Good news, Lucky, we're apparently not crazy! Seems lots of people feel exactly like this...
BrianG Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 (edited) At least I hope so. I hate NC more than anything. But recently she has not contacted me at all in the past month so obviously she is not going thru the same turmoils/tribulations or feelings that I/we are going through. I struggle everyday since we broke up trying to think of something to say. Then i think about it and there is nothing that I have not said already about how I feel about her and so forth. We need the opportunity to show it thru our actions and we may never get the opportunity to do so which is a shame. Anytime I have broken NC I have gotten no I love you, etc. only take care. Im fed up with it, obviously we love them, more then they loved us because we never gave up. We need to be proud of ourselves that we never gave up and I guess just leave it at that, because we have no other choice. We?I made our mistakes like any human being, but we never gave up on our heart. Be proud!!! and one day I hope we move on to someone better that never gave up on who we are. Edited February 8, 2008 by BrianG
lbj123 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 yup, hanging on to the hope is so frustrating and its just making me crazy, but I can't seem to let it go. I find myself bringing him up (stories from our past --all good) in conversation with my friends, looking at pictures I have of us, and constantly reminiscing in my mind about all of the happy memories we shared...all without even realizing I'm doing it. I know through a mutual friend that he is not dating anyone, which only gives me more hope that maybe we will get back together at some point. I just need to move on...I am very busy with work, friends, and tons of hobbies and interests so I'm far from sititng around feeling sorry for myself, but sometimes I long to have him there with me, and I miss spending our down time by relaxing together. How do you make it go away?
Ashbash11 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I can definitely sympathize... Hope is what drives me every time I decide to break NC with my ex... I think, "maybe it will be different this time. Maybe we will have an amazing conversation and he will tell me that he's missed me.." You know what? It never happens. We've got to kill the false hope. It's only hurting us and preventing us from truly moving on.
PinkRibbon Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I think I have finally let Hope go. I don't have hope that he is ever coming back and I think I have reached the point I don't want him back. It has only been 4 months but when I talked to him earlier this week and he called me names and put me down again I think Hope walked right out the door. I don't care if I ever see him again or talk to him again. I do HOPE that we can all get to this point in our lives.
Issues & tissues Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 ...we love them, more then they loved us because we never gave up. We need to be proud of ourselves that we never gave up and I guess just leave it at that, because we have no other choice. We made our mistakes like any human being, but we never gave up on our heart. Be proud!!! and one day I hope we move on to someone better that never gave up on who we are. You just summed up my thoughts exactly.
November Rain Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Hope can be so cruel and yet wonderful. It depends on what you are hoping for. Put your hope somewhere else other than a lost loves return. If you have children, hope they grow and be wonderful adults. Hope your family and friends never feel the pain we have experienced with lost loves. I can't lie...I have hoped that my S would come to his senses and see what he has done to our family. But he's the one that puts the hope there because I let him. When he calls it's always the same thing. I want to come home, just give me some time, I don't want a divorce, I do want to come home and be a family again...just not right now. Now I hope I can remain doing NC. Which has been good for me. I'm tired of what I feel like is false hope. I hope every day is better than the day before and I get stronger as each day passes...and I have and I hope it continues. There is nothing wrong with Hope, it just needs to be channeled in the right direction.
s_n_d Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Today, Ive been filled with so much hope that my ex and I will be together again soon. Ironically, I went out with my mom this morning and she gave me this whole talk about hope and how unpredictable life is.
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