Little Shy Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 So, has anyone here, particularly women, had a guy ask you out & pursue you who's sexuality you have questioned? There's this guy trying to take me out right now, who I have been on 2 dates with, and I just can't shake this vibe that he is not quite straight. On date number one, he told me his two vices were alcohol & women. "I just loooove women". I mean who says that anyway to a girl on their first date? If he was devoid of any manners, I would expect a comment like that, but this guy is very polite & articulate. That comment just seemed to jump out at me like it just didn't belong in the conversation at all. Like he felt like he had to let me know that. (I wonder if he may know that some women question his sexuality, hmmmm) But it's not just that, it's a bit of everything about him that kind of feels metrosexual (at best). Yet he tries to make out with me & ask me to come in to his place after each date. My response: a somewhat less than enthusiastic kiss back & refusal to go inside his house. This is NOT btw, the first time I have got this vibe before, from a guy who has tried to date me. I have had experiences in the past when a couple guys have tried to date me, and I was not that interested, then found out through the grapevine years later that they came out of the closet. Am I am magnet for closeted gay men? I swear I almost want to ask this guy pursuing me know if he is sure he is heading in the right direction. I think I'm just going to move on from him though, because I just can't even really picture getting with him physically because I can't shake the feeling that he is just not straight. Thoughts? Similar experiences?
EYECANDY000 Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Ive had a similar situation to yours. This guy would throw out comments like he was reassuring hisself and me. Until one day it all came out the bag. He was on the phone with this guy and decided to do a three way call and call me. He asked me a couple of questions about our date which I thought was a little wierd. Now let lme remind you I didnt know the other guy was on the phone. So since I felt it was a little strange that he was asking such questions I told him I had to go. So instead of hanfing up right away I put my phone on mute, because I had a funny suspicion. So the guy who I went on a few dates with was like "hello"? "yea she is gone" and before I knew it , they started having phone sex !!!!!!!! :sick: I held the phone and listened for maybe like three minutes!!! it was sooooo gross hearing two of them moan and groan . So after I hung up I called my best friend and asked her if she think that I should call him and ask him if theres anything that I should know, or just flat out and tell him that I heard everything................
redfathom Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I saw on myspace that my BF (of one month) in highschool is now gay. Explains a lot.
Author Little Shy Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 Eyecandy, I gotta thank you for that share!!!!!:lmao: Also, your sleuthing skills are so well honed! Ha! Ha! And Florida, do you mean in what part of this fair country am I meeting these guys? Or what side of the Bar am I meeting these guys? If I am to look back on my wide breath of experience dating closeted guys, I met them in varied social situations, mostly through friends. And trust me, I asked each of the friends I have met them through, if they thought the guy in question swung both ways or what. In each case, the background check often yielded responses such as "no, sometimes you wonder, but he's always dating girls." Or some similar "proof" that he is not gay. I tell you that in college TWICE I had lead singers in punk bands make a play for me big time (in a dating, not sleeping with sense) and they both proved later to be gay! I am homo magnatized, I am convinced of it.
XxBacktoBlackXx Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 That happens to me all the time. In high school, two guys that repeatedly asked me out on more than one occassion came out later in life and I found out they had done sexual stuff together. My freshman year of high school I was head over heals for a guy that turned out to be gay. Then a year ago, I fell in love with a man that I suspect is gay. It's frustrating, but I'm now dating a straight guy. Almost wanna' go back to dating gays. JK.
renee_1977 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 This has happened to me as well. My personal theory is that gay men can actually find a girl attractive and *think* they can ultimately talk themselves into it so they can feel "normal". My theory also is that if you think they are gay, they probably are. Even if they aren't, you have to decide if you want the whole metrosexual sensitive type or not. Personally, that is not my preference.
Author Little Shy Posted February 9, 2008 Author Posted February 9, 2008 Yeah, I'm going to tell this guy next time that he asks me out that I am not interested. It just dosen't make sense to me..at all. Like you said Renee, even if he is not, do I want to be with a guy that is so metro that I have to keep wondering? I really like the manly man type.
burning 4 revenge Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 My theory also is that if you think they are gay, they probably are. Even if they aren't, you have to decide if you want the whole metrosexual sensitive type or not. Personally, that is not my preference. Thats why I tell myself and others they are gayI think this probably explains it right here
Storyrider Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 (edited) My theory also is that if you think they are gay, they probably are. I think this probably explains it right here :lmao: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_effect Edited February 9, 2008 by Storyrider
Author Little Shy Posted February 9, 2008 Author Posted February 9, 2008 Interesting link Storyrider, so, are you suggesting that when you feel in your bones that someone you have spent some time with might be gay, that you actually can MAKE them gay? I think vibrations between men & women on the sexual level can be pretty intense. I think that if you get a flat line read sexually, and the only vibe you get tells you in your gut that something is horribly amiss, you should pay attention to it and perhaps move on. Or else, you can be like some people i know in this town, and marry a hairdresser (male) that has been divorced 4X, that has on the odd occasion been overtly "friendly" with some of his guy friends, and tell yourself that he is just open minded and hasn't met the "right woman" yet.
Storyrider Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Interesting link Storyrider, so, are you suggesting that when you feel in your bones that someone you have spent some time with might be gay, that you actually can MAKE them gay? No. I was being a bit tongue and cheek about renee's reply that if you think someone is gay, that means it is true. In my personal experience over the years, men who are outside the norm are often wrongly labelled as gay. On the other hand, there really are some men who are gay and pretending to be straight because of social pressure. You will know soon enough. Just be cautious, or if your gut tells you something is wrong, back out gracefully.
renee_1977 Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Storyrider, I was being a little cheeky myself. I do agree with you that there are many men that aren't gay but have characteristics that cause you to wonder. I have also known three men that did pretend for many years of marriage until they couldn't take it anymore. The wives were shocked but those of us around were secretly thinking, "Duh." in all three instances. I still stand by my statement that it comes down to personal preference. Some girls really dig the metrosexual sensitive type. Others don't.
Storyrider Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Storyrider, I was being a little cheeky myself. I do agree with you that there are many men that aren't gay but have characteristics that cause you to wonder. I have also known three men that did pretend for many years of marriage until they couldn't take it anymore. The wives were shocked but those of us around were secretly thinking, "Duh." in all three instances. I still stand by my statement that it comes down to personal preference. Some girls really dig the metrosexual sensitive type. Others don't. Sounds reasonable to me.
maryjane1 Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW4Ym9IS7Ks&NR=1
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