fever to tell Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 So, I try to not to overanalyze about these things but this one really perplexes me. I've been taught that if a guy likes you, he will take YOUR number and call YOU. Now, this guy I have a big crush on lives on the hall above mine. We're friends/acquaintances but he seems very intriguing and I have wanted to get to know him better for a long time. Last night, I went to bar night. He seemed to be drunk (i was too), since he is usually very shy, but he ran up to me and kissed me on the cheek and gave me a big hug. Then he put his arm around me and told everyone, 'this is my downstairs neighbor, but she NEVER invites me for tea! INVITE ME FOR TEA!' and gave me his number. We kept talking for a while, and then talked at various points during the night. At the end of the night he confirmed that I had his number, and I said yeah but you should take mine in case you REALLY want tea at a specific moment and he thought for a while and then said, '... if you really cared about me, YOU would call ME.' huh?? then i teasingly asked if he would remember that he told me to call him within a week when i actually call him and he got slightly defensive and told me to ask him the hardest physics problem i could think of, haha (of course i know nothing about physics) but yeah basically, im a little confused. is he being shy? or is he not really that interested? should i call? text? .... how do i proceed?!
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 If a guy gave me his number I wouldn't call it unless he called me first. But since he doesn't have your number I guess he's not going to call you. I would probably just stash his number in my junk drawer or something to be honest. And I'd probably be a little offended that he wasn't more of a gentleman. I'm old-school like that.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 He knows his feelings towards you, but doesn't know your feelings towards him.... it's a passive control issue. If you call, he knows you are interested. Since you like him - call him. But, be prepared to hear yes or no. No in many forms (busy, can't, whatever). If he says yes, then, cool. Or, don't play his game. Since you live in the same bldg you may just run into him today or tomorrow and start up a convo with him and make a date. That would be a passive way to get him. But, that's based on coincidence. So, even though you have the control on whether to call him or not, he has the ultimate control on whether he will call you back or say yes to your invite. Let us know what happens. Oh, BTW, don't wait 3-5 days like guys do.... it's dumb. Call within a day, if you are going to.
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 At the end of the night he confirmed that I had his number, and I said yeah but you should take mine in case you REALLY want tea at a specific moment and he thought for a while and then said, '... if you really cared about me, YOU would call ME.' huh?? then i teasingly asked if he would remember that he told me to call him within a week when i actually call him and he got slightly defensive and told me to ask him the hardest physics problem i could think of, haha (of course i know nothing about physics) but yeah basically, im a little confused. is he being shy? or is he not really that interested? should i call? text? .... how do i proceed?! Oh God this brings back memories! When I first met my SO we hung out for 3 days straight, cuddling and whatnot. At the end of all that we did end of having sex. I couldn't help myself. When he was leaving, I asked him if he wanted my number. He said, "No, but I'll give you mine." I was like, "WHAT? Excuse me, I don't call people. People call me." He said, "I know, that's why I want YOU to call ME." I was so frustrated that I was totally not going to call him. But about 2 days went by and I really wanted to see him again, so I did end up calling him. I left a short message: "Fine. You win." We've been together over 2 1/2 years now, and are expecting our first baby.
Carmen87 Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Call him. Women shouldn't always be waiting around for the guy to call first.
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 IMO guys who tell girls to call them are players. Otters story doesn't work like that because her and her guy already played. If this guy is use to being called by different girls and you call him you will just be another name on the tally. If you want him to treat you differently than the other girls you need to treat him differently first. Don't call him.
latefragment Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 i love how english people get together for tea. an english dude once asked me to "tea" at at 4 am whilst we were both out separately partying. bwahahaha!!!!
4givrnt4gtr Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 sounds like he is a bit insecured. instead of risking being rejected he gave u the choice of calling him if you want to. If you like him go for it. What do you have to lose?
Author fever to tell Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 hahhaa no im not british, i just watched the super bowl in his room and afterwards i said i was going to go make tea thanks for all of the advice, i think im going to text him tomorrow or something
giggless Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 When I first met my bf he gave me his number, but didn't ask for mine. I didn't think about it much...We've now been together for almost three years.
monkey00 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 There's nothing wrong with a girl chasing a guy...go for it.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I would give him a call. Sounds like he really likes you but he is unsure about your feelings towards him. And google a hard physics question. You can practically google anything these days..
norajane Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 He already invited himself over for tea - he's hardly acting coy or playing hard to get! Call the boy and make him some tea! You have nothing to lose.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 He already invited himself over for tea - he's hardly acting coy or playing hard to get! Call the boy and make him some tea! You have nothing to lose. PEPPERMINT TEA if you have it !!
Author fever to tell Posted February 8, 2008 Author Posted February 8, 2008 PEPPERMINT TEA if you have it !! ooh peppermint tea, yum!
johan Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Last night, I went to bar night. He seemed to be drunk (i was too), since he is usually very shy, but he ran up to me and kissed me on the cheek and gave me a big hug. Then he put his arm around me and told everyone, 'this is my downstairs neighbor, but she NEVER invites me for tea! INVITE ME FOR TEA!' and gave me his number. The bolded text indicates the problem. He wants to be your friend, and that's all he's capable of being with a woman.
Author fever to tell Posted February 8, 2008 Author Posted February 8, 2008 The bolded text indicates the problem. He wants to be your friend, and that's all he's capable of being with a woman. hahhaha nooo hes deff straight, he was joking about the tea part bc after i watched the superbowl in his room i told everyone there about my tea and coffee maker and they all acted really impressed and then i went and made tea ha
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I don't mean to dampen your hopes but it honestly just sounds like drunken rambling at its finest to me. Give some people enough drinks and they prob end up handing out their number to any tom dick or harry they meet, No offense meant I'm sure your a nice girl but I just don't get a hes into you vibe from what you wrote sorry.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Yes, what did you end with? A guy who will get you pregnant but won't marry you. Unless he proposed after you got pregnant but then it really isn't from his heart. What a prize. Gezz thats a little harsh no? I always got the idea form her posts blind_otter was quite happy in her R
Author fever to tell Posted February 8, 2008 Author Posted February 8, 2008 hmm ok. well, i havent done anything yet im wondering what more males have to say on this issue?
sb129 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 i love how english people get together for tea. an english dude once asked me to "tea" at at 4 am whilst we were both out separately partying. bwahahaha!!!! Its not that common. They are more likely to go down the pub. Don't bother, he's just not that into you if he doesn't pursue YOU. That comment he made shows what a wimpy dolt he is. Here we go again. This fish smells like a rat that has been hanging around LS before. Yes, what did you end with? A guy who will get you pregnant but won't marry you. Unless he proposed after you got pregnant but then it really isn't from his heart. What a prize. What a nasty horrible inappropriate, uncalled for thing to say. Its hardly even on topic- its not Blind Otters thread. Pull your head in PF.
Author fever to tell Posted February 9, 2008 Author Posted February 9, 2008 so something funny... yesterday i texted him and was disappointed when i didnt hear from him three hours later. then i had a thought, looked at my phone and sure enough, he had entered 11 digits instead of 10 for his number
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