prisonbreak Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Yeah you're right, we are NC warriors!!! LOL. But seriously, you are hell bent on texting him and won't be happy unless you do, then text him. Plus, you don't want him back, so who cares what he thinks. I personally would just be very nice to him during work, since your not mad, it should be easy. Over time, he will realize your just being nice, cause your a nice person, not because of some underlying reason. But if you feel the need to tell him your not mad, then just say that. Or say, "Hey Mr.McGrumpy pants, lighten up a bit and smile once in a while, things r all good b/w us...no worries."
TotalChaos Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Yes, we are in our dream career and cannot find another job. Are you saying that texting in general is immature, or just texting under my circumstances is immature? Him and I texted all the time, so it wouldn't be considered immature by him. In fact, he probably expects to hear from me by text someday. As for keeping work professional and telling him that I am over the situation if he ever comes to me: Never going to happen. This guy is painfully shy and insecure. Given everything that has happened, I can't see him growing the b**ls to approach me. I have to step up to the plate. Oh, we are professional at work. Yet, the tension is thick and uncomfortable. The tension is only there because he is convinced I am angry with him so he avoids me. I avoid him because he avoids me. Stupid, I know. I don't want to approach him in person at work to clear the air. That would be risky and so out-of-place. We NEVER discussed our relationship at work. Never. I don't want him to think I am putting him on the spot at work. I want the ice breaking contact to be very casual and disconnected...like....um....a text message. Are you telling me not to send the text because you are against texting (a personal preference), or because you don't think I should break NC? Breaking NC is not an issue for me. I don't even need NC anymore. I thought I did, but I am fine. Ok, guys........can we get past the debate about whether or not I should text ? I've already decided that I am. I just need help with the wording. I have to work today and I don't want another day of him looking like a deer caught in the headlights when he sees me. Help me word the text !!! Oh, keep in mind that him and I will be working together, very closely, probably until retirement. This is not some guy that I can NC with and forget about. Not that simple. The ICE MUST BE BROKEN NOW without me being known as the witch that ignored him then begged for his friendship. I realize that you are going to text him no matter what, because that is what you really want to do. However, I would like to answer your questions of me. You asked if I'm against text messaging. No, I'm not. In fact I use it all the time. Having said that, I believe that sending text is ok for most things, but not for matters of the heart. Like I said before, seems a bit immature. I know you said you don't have feelings for him anymore, but you once did and that is the reason you are going through this. You have made comments about wanting to be professional and not wanting to bring your personal life to work. That is great, because many people can't separate the two. However, don't you think that you mixed the two when you began your "emotional affair" and shared that kiss? Once you cross the line with a good friend, things change especially when you work together. I still say that just being friendly at work would get your message across. There's nothing wrong with a simple "hello" or "how are you doing?" That should break the ice in itself and it will show him that you are not upset with him. I'm curious to know what type of work you do? It's great that you have a career that you are happy with. You say the two of you will be retiring from this company, but the truth is, you don't know that for sure. Anything could happen over the years. I'm also curious to know how old you are? You almost seem a bit naive to me. Remember that you came to this website for advice on what to say in a text message. Most people suggested not to send one at all for a number of reasons. That is still giving you advice, it's just not the advice you wanted. I believe you should try being more open minded before you ask for advice on a website like this. Most people are giving advice based on experience. You have made replies such as "WTF?" along with other accusations about people giving their honest opinion. For this reason, I really wonder if it's the guy or yourself that have the mood swings?
Trialbyfire Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Actually, no. I have no desire to reconnect with him (yeh, yeh, yeh, I know. That is what everybody says, right?). Seriously, I don't want anything to do with the guy. I was crazy for him, but I have gotten over it. At work, I could come up with 100 excuses to "reconnect" with him if I wanted to. The opportunity to reconnect arises all day long. I don't need to send a text to do that. The purpose of the text would be to let him know that me not speaking to him is not because I am angry, or resentful, or bitter, or hateful, or just plain negative and bitchy. I will be working with this guy for many years to come so it is important for me to leave things positive with him. I want him to know that although we've outgrown our friendship, I have no hard feelings and that I am "ok" with him. A quick, short, and simple well-worded text should suffice. Best to think your way clearly through this. Your EA, was built on text messages. I wonder why your choosing this medium again? Wouldn't it make more sense to talk to him in person, since you're so close to him at work? It doesn't add up.
Dumbledore Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 It doesn't add up. Agreed. She definitely wants him back, but she's desperately trying for the indirect route. So this text, in her mind, is a way to leave an "opening" for him to make a play for her. And that's why she's so obsessed about the content - she is very much emotionally invested in him. Of course, admitting that to oneself is a problem for one's ego.
Trialbyfire Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Agreed. She definitely wants him back, but she's desperately trying for the indirect route. So this text, in her mind, is a way to leave an "opening" for him to make a play for her. And that's why she's so obsessed about the content - she is very much emotionally invested in him.Exactly. Perhaps she doesn't even realize it or is afraid to admit it to herself, nvm anonymous posters on LS.
lbj123 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Maybe we are wrong, but just read this thread and I totally agree with the others that you are looking for a way to contact him...I just don't think you would be worrying about it so much to the point of seeking advice for exact wording in a text if you didn't still care for him. Wanting to contact him is not something you should feel bad about, BUT you DEFINITELY shouldn't text him because it will only get your mind focused on whether or not he will respond and what he will say. If the two of you do end up aknowledging it, let it happen naturally. I think its better for him to initiate the convo and also better face to face. It sounds like you never even had a convo officially things ending between you, and since you work together I have no doubt that you will eventually have a conversation with him. If you really want him to think that you're not mad and there is no awkwardness or weirdness between you two, don't do anything at all.
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