fashiondiva11 Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 My ex and I broke up 2 weeks. The breakup wasn't bad, we didn't have a fight, there was no lying or cheating involved. Quite the opposite. Although we've only been dating for 2 months, I have met his family and all his friends and he even told me that he was falling in love with me and was ready to give me keys to him apartment. I, on the other hand, have been very careful not to fall for him too quickly and tried to protect my feelings by finding faults with him. I tried very hard not to fall for him but somehow I started to really like him. Our breakup started as a joke and then I think we were so deep into it that we just kinda walked away. We have spoken few times last week and he told me that he is falling in love with me and that scares him and he is afraid of commitment. He says he doesn't want to hurt me nor doesn't want to get hurt more down the line. Also he stated that he is not ready to compromise and since that's what I want it would be unfair to me. He told me that although he thought we made a mistake after much thinking he thinks this is for the best. He clearly stated that he is not planning on dating anyone right now and if he thinks he's ready he def will try to get back with me. At the same time he does want me to stay in his life and be friends or even date and did say that he can control himself and not be intimate with me, which I kinda laugh off because we both are very sexual and obviously even though we broke up the attraction is still there. He still insisted I go with him to his family event this past weekend. At first I was a little hesitant to go but after giving much thought I realized that I mightve said few things that would make him think I didn;t really like him and in order to see if there is anything left between us and clear up few things I decided to go. It started off pretty awkward but soon we were touching, hugging and holding hands like we used to. As normal his family welcomed me with open arms and I meet new members, to whom he introduced me as his girlfriend. We had dinner, talked and have decided that we still liked each other and want to get to know another better but take things at a much slower pace. After dinner we went to watch the SuperBowl with his friends and there we made out and he told me "what are you doing to me? I went a whole week without you, felt like a detox and here I am again totally liking you" We felt together, I dropped him home, he didn't invite me up even though we both wanted to have sex and we talked about doing dinner sometime this week. He even invited me to another family function. I thought things were going to get better until I saw his posting on craigslist looking for a dinner date. Of course I confronted him and he insisted that he is not looking to date anyone and he just wants to meet new people. Come on who does he have me as? When someone solicits for a dinner date that means they are looking for sex or companionship or a combination of the two. He told me that since we started dating he has not slept with anyone and never gave me a reason to doubt him and this is not an exception. He said that I'm the only one he is intimate with and if that changes he will tell me. I told him since we are not b/gfriend he has a right to date other people but I would like to know that. He got pretty defensive and said that he is trying to meet or date anyone. I decided to drop the subject but the more I think about it the more I question his motives. I feel like he wants to keep me around so he has someone to take to family events (considering his family loves me) and then date other people. If he insisted on seeing me and having sex I would say he is in it for the sex but we haven;t had sex in over 2 weeks. Is his behavior pretty obvious to everyone but me? Or am I reading too much into it? I feel kinda weird going from b/gfriend to dating other people, its not like we dont know each other so why does he feel the need to meet other girls? Is the answer right infront of me I'm just so blind to see it for myself? I would appreciate any input, so I can make a decision and either stick around or move on and start dating other people and not waste any more time on him. Thanks.
Jilly Bean Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Wasn't this a thread very recently? This story sounds terribly familiar... Yes, it is obvious to everyone but you. He told you he did not want to commit to you, did not view you as a gf, yet he's soliciting new women for dates while still banging you on the side and having you as a side dish. I think you are smart enough to know what is going on. I guess you just needed us to tell you so. Never make someone your priority when they are making you ancillary.
Author fashiondiva11 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 Thanks for your response. Yes, you are right, I might already have the answer just needed a validation. BTW we haven't had sex in over 2 weeks (not since the breakup) and the only reason I was still having hope is because he did in fact brought me around his family, something he hasn't done in years and I didn't want to make a rush decision I would regret down the road. Thanks, I am going to cut off all the contact with him and move on. I def cant be his part time girlfriend when he needs a date for family function.
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