LaDiva Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 (edited) Hey Everyone: You know, I swear, if it’s not one thing in my life its another… thank goodness for LS! I broke up with my live-in bi-polar ex-boyfriend (whom I never stopped caring for) October 11, 2005. We had been dating since December 26, 2004 at that juncture. It was because I had one of those toxic girlfriends who was miserable and of course misery loves company. She used to tell me things about him (that AT THE TIME I didn’t know were untrue.) So I suspected him of cheating on me, and just as a warning, I packed his things and put them by the front door. I asked her to stay and wait for the locksmith – because like I said… I was going to “send him a message that you don’t mess with La Diva”. But as usual… when you try to plan things like this… they don’t work out that way. I was at work and I received a phone call from the police saying that my apartment was trashed, they are charging him with Malicious Destruction of Property over $500 and that I need to file a restraining order before he can make bond… you guys have to know that all of this happened so quickly (that I just did everything the officers told me to do) and my friend was crying and so at the court he was trying to tell me his side of the story. But I didn’t want to hear it. I thought he had really gone manic depressive on me, and I was tired of dealing with his disease and etc. So I went NC for three months, and then the original friend stopped talking to me, and I was wondering why she was distant. In January of 2006, a mutual friend of both me and J (the ex) came up to me and said “How come you didn’t tell me the whole story?” and I said “What do you mean?” and she proceeded to tell me that J walked in to the apartment that morning before the locksmith came to find my supposed to be best friend in the bed that he purchased with her boyfriend in the act. Now, I don’t know about regular people, lol… but with Hispanic people, the bed is like Holy Matrimony! So in a not-so-nice way he told her to get up and get dressed… and in a not so nice way, she told him to get the hell out of (my) house because as he can see his stuff is packed. All I wanted to do was show him that I was serious about him making a commitment to me, you know. So anyway, he and the girl’s boyfriend get into a fistfight, and my apartment ends up being trashed. When I find this out, I immediately drop the charges on the restraining order, go down to his job, and I know that he probably didn’t want to see my face, because he was trying to tell me that’s what happened the day we were in court. (Not to mention I also sued him for damages) So I wrote him an apology letter and gave it to his boss. He called me a week later and said can we meet in a public place – I guess he didn’t trust me because I put a restraining order on him. We went to Dunkin Donuts and had coffee, and we talked about that day, he told me his side, he told me that he had been seeing someone else since we broke up but it wasn’t the same. So, Valentine’s Day we got back together, and he moved back in, but the girl he had been dating, she was like the article in Psychology Today reports: http://http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=19930501-000027&page=2 "damsels or "dumsels" in distress, people without a life but with a lot of problems, people with bad reality testing and little concern with understanding reality better.” She wouldn’t let it go; the fact that he left her for me. She kept calling at all hours of the night. She would go to his job, harass him at work; she came to our house, etc. So I broke up with him again, but he begged me to help him get away from her. I didn’t know that he was still carrying on the affair with her at first. When I did find out, I asked him why, he would do this to our relationship, and he said he just doesn’t know how to end it with her, but he knows that she is going to be his demise. Bring it forward. I am currently in a relationship with a man who is wonderful and who loves me. However, I am not satisfied with this relationship. While I do care for him immensely on the outside I pretend I’m happy only because I know that I am supposed to move on with my life. I am newly engaged… and I am supposed to feel wonderful. But all I can think about are the “what ifs”. I know that J is currently living in Puerto Rico because my mutual friend has given me the “scoop” so to speak. It has been 6 months since he has been involved with his dumsel in distress. Isn't it a shame that he had to move 3,000 miles to get away from pyscho chick? I had put him on NC starting on January 13, 2007. But every quarter or so, HE breaks it, he comes to my job to “just see how you’re doing” or he will call other people and talk to them and then say… have you seen Diva? How is she doing? And when people ask him if he still loves me or why does he ask about me so much, his response is “I don’t have feelings for her anymore, I just think she deserves the best in life.” I mean… I don’t know what am I supposed to do. I wanted to keep all my posts together, but I can’t, mainly because each aspect deals with something different. If you read previous posts, you’ll know that I’ve had best friend/love interest drama and currently in the midst of boyfriend/familial drama. Edited February 6, 2008 by LaDiva I originally wrote this is Microsoft Word and had all type fonts looked weird
lovesparis Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 i definately do not think you should marry someone to move on. date, yes. but do not marry him unless you truly love him. if not, you will only hurt yourself.
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