Apathetic Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 Ugh! I cannot seem to get over it. Im in a long term relationship & am loved, told I am beautiful all the time, told I have a nice body etc. And yet, I get crazyy mad when my BF thinks another girl is "hot". If someone celebrity comes on the TV that I know he likes, I change the channel. I almost broke up w/ him when I found out he was watching porn. If we're walking in the mall & I see his 'type' walking towards us, I immediatly glance over to him to see if hes looking at her. And half the time, he is. And yes, I do know that I get this way bc Im insecure & have low self-esteem. No one has to tell me this. I know im an attractive girl w/ a nice body, but im still not happy w/ it. I feel like I will never be "good enough", will never meet his "type". He himself tells me that Im his type, that I worry over nothing & that he loves me for me. But I still cant shake the insecurity. This is all ME and MY obsessive worries and jealousies. Anyone else have this problem? Or am I having a breakdown? lol
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Insecure people generally don't claim to be "attractive" and "have nice bodies". It sounds like you are just needy and selfish and want his attention all to yourself.
MsCrazy Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I can completely relate! I am also attractive and he tells me all the time! But I still get very jealous. The whole porn thing makes me feel like I am not "enough" for him but being on LS has shown me that its just what guys do and it has nothing to do with you. But yes you sound just like me! If I see him looking at another girl I feel insecure as well and I'll start thinking stuff like her smile is better than mine or her butt is nicer. But I've come to realize that there will always be girls prettier than you no matter where you go! I am pretty but I know there are millions of girls hotter than me!! Even though my bf tells me that I am hotter than 98% of girls. So just wanted you to know that you are not alone but if you were not your bf "type" than he would not be with you. I do not think you are selffish.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Jealousy, in my opinion, does not show the caring of another but rather the insecurities that lay beneath the surface of the one who is jealous. It's a character flaw. You need to give yourself validation to love and be loved by bf. Only you have the power to validate you.
Author Apathetic Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 Insecure people generally don't claim to be "attractive" and "have nice bodies". It sounds like you are just needy and selfish and want his attention all to yourself. I beg to differ. What I meant in my OP was, I feel like ill never be 100% good enough. I know im not ugly, however, I dont feel completely "beautiful/hot". Being "selfish & needy" has nothing to do with it.
Author Apathetic Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 I can completely relate! I am also attractive and he tells me all the time! But I still get very jealous. The whole porn thing makes me feel like I am not "enough" for him but being on LS has shown me that its just what guys do and it has nothing to do with you. But yes you sound just like me! If I see him looking at another girl I feel insecure as well and I'll start thinking stuff like her smile is better than mine or her butt is nicer. But I've come to realize that there will always be girls prettier than you no matter where you go! I am pretty but I know there are millions of girls hotter than me!! Even though my bf tells me that I am hotter than 98% of girls. So just wanted you to know that you are not alone but if you were not your bf "type" than he would not be with you. I do not think you are selffish. Good to hear im not going crazy lol I know it all comes down to insecurity. But im not sure how to fix it.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Good to hear im not going crazy lol I know it all comes down to insecurity. But im not sure how to fix it. You will never be content if you are insecure. Find out what makes you so insecure and fix or modify the behavior. It will only make you sad and your partners disgusted. Fix you and then everything will fall into place.
JerseyShortie Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I totally know how you feel! I know I am cute but I am often left feeling I will never be good enough. It doesn't make you feel so special or loved or able to trust your man whenever you got your back turned he is looking at a new girl. With all the porn men look at, and any time you are out your guy is looking at another girl, it is obviously going to cause insecurity. These are not the things you do to make your woman feel secure in her relationship with you. I think most men today are plain lazy when it comes to being really commmitted to a woman. And will take the cheap thrill of porn, or checking out other women over the desire for their women to feel secure in their relationship.
bobbiestrout Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I feel the same way. I am an older woman, and I know I'm pretty, I just feel like I'm not getting alot of attention. I tried getting back in contact with an old boyfriend recently, and today, he was hard on me, because of the way I approached him to regain a relationship. I think he's really stupid, and I no longer care about him. I am with this man that lives overseas, also. And I have a husband. I keep everything from my husband, because he would get mad at me, if he knew I was in a relationship with alot of different men. But I cannot help myself because I'm insecure, so I am in constant need of attention. http://s36.photobucket.com/albums/e5/sevenlamps/?action=view¤t=SEPT_27_.jpg This is a picture of me from 2002. See I'm pretty.
Mustang Sally Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 So what can you do to feel better about yourself? I mean, for YOU. Do you need to get a new haircut? New outfit? Start an exercise program? Expand your horizons by taking a class at a local college/university? Granted, these things (except the education example) are all superficial, I suppose. But sometimes, doing a little bit for oneself can be a big boost for the old self-esteem. And that can only help in a R when the other person thinks you're good enough, but you can't seem to believe it. JMO. YMMV, of course.
Lizzie60 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I feel the same way. I am an older woman, and I know I'm pretty, I just feel like I'm not getting alot of attention. I tried getting back in contact with an old boyfriend recently, and today, he was hard on me, because of the way I approached him to regain a relationship. I think he's really stupid, and I no longer care about him. I am with this man that lives overseas, also. And I have a husband. I keep everything from my husband, because he would get mad at me, if he knew I was in a relationship with alot of different men. But I cannot help myself because I'm insecure, so I am in constant need of attention. http://s36.photobucket.com/albums/e5/sevenlamps/?action=view¤t=SEPT_27_.jpg This is a picture of me from 2002. See I'm pretty. Are the little boys your children?
Lizzie60 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Ugh! I cannot seem to get over it. Im in a long term relationship & am loved, told I am beautiful all the time, told I have a nice body etc. And yet, I get crazyy mad when my BF thinks another girl is "hot". If someone celebrity comes on the TV that I know he likes, I change the channel. I almost broke up w/ him when I found out he was watching porn. If we're walking in the mall & I see his 'type' walking towards us, I immediatly glance over to him to see if hes looking at her. And half the time, he is. And yes, I do know that I get this way bc Im insecure & have low self-esteem. No one has to tell me this. I know im an attractive girl w/ a nice body, but im still not happy w/ it. I feel like I will never be "good enough", will never meet his "type". He himself tells me that Im his type, that I worry over nothing & that he loves me for me. But I still cant shake the insecurity. This is all ME and MY obsessive worries and jealousies. Anyone else have this problem? Or am I having a breakdown? lol I suffered from jealousy when I was younger (20s)... and I swore that I would never ever get jealous anymore for a man. My last ex tried to make me feel jealous.. and I told him right off the bat that if that's the game he wanted to play, I would be out of there.. cause I never want to be jealous anymore... It is poisonous... you have to control yourself.. it's very hard.. and I think it's harder when we're younger... I was pretty but I don't think I had a great body, I was too skinny (in my 20s). With my last ex.. I had a great body.. lots of compliments and men looking at me.. it did a lot for my self-esteem... I feel a lot better with myself... and now.. I have not one grain of jealousy in my body.. nor envy. It's doable.. you can control your jealousy.. but that takes time. I have no miracle advices though. Just think that he's with you for a reason.. otherwise he would be with the other girl... you need to work on your self-esteem.
MarriedLife Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 http://s36.photobucket.com/albums/e5/sevenlamps/?action=view¤t=SEPT_27_.jpg This is a picture of me from 2002. See I'm pretty. You have a beautiful family but... Not sure why you would post such a link? Someone you know like a neighbor or co-worker might discover you?
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