Crockpot Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 I have had two major breakups in my life. The first was after being with him for 3 years, and the second was after a year (happened 3 weeks ago). On both occasions I was the sappy, pathetic, insomniac, while they seemed to be doing pretty well. I am unable to eat, sleep or concentrate in class, and my most recent ex is out dating again after only 3 weeks! It was a mutual breakup that probably wouldn't have happened if I didn't move away. We were still very much in love. Is it always the case that one person takes it much harder than the other? Why would this be? Why do I have to be the one who feels this? Will this happen to me after all breakups, or will I desensitize after a while?
sedgwick Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 I remember my ex's roommate saying, when his gf dumped him, "The thing that sucks about breakups is that one person gets to be happy and the other has to be sad." My ex nodded in agreement. So now that he's broken up with me, it kills me to think about him being the happy one while I go through all this pain. It really sucks.
Author Crockpot Posted February 6, 2008 Author Posted February 6, 2008 I remember my ex's roommate saying, when his gf dumped him, "The thing that sucks about breakups is that one person gets to be happy and the other has to be sad." My ex nodded in agreement. So now that he's broken up with me, it kills me to think about him being the happy one while I go through all this pain. It really sucks. But don't the dumpers still feel something!? I couldn't imagine breaking up with someone on my own accord and not feeling at least a little upset. You have spent almost every day of your life with this person for some extended period of time, and now that's it? It just doesn't make any sense to me. Even if I spend a couple of days (ie. camping trip) with new friends, I get upset when it's over. Perhaps I'm just too emotional and can't deal with departing from someone?
Wheetabix Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I think it's because we all deal with break-ups differently. I think women tent to curl-up and wallow for awhile, grieving the relationship. Men I think just seek the company of someone else to help them move on while gieving the relationship..which really isnt always a bad thing if it works for you and you dont hurt anyone else by being their rebound.
cant let go Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 But don't the dumpers still feel something!? I couldn't imagine breaking up with someone on my own accord and not feeling at least a little upset. You have spent almost every day of your life with this person for some extended period of time, and now that's it? It just doesn't make any sense to me. Even if I spend a couple of days (ie. camping trip) with new friends, I get upset when it's over. Perhaps I'm just too emotional and can't deal with departing from someone? sure, i suppose they do feel exactly what you said... "a little upset." they are secure in their decision, they move on. they may feel bad for a day...they may even cry right in front of you as they leave. but the next day they start dating someone else and you are history... ok maybe i'm getting a little too personal here...
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