sb129 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Kinda OT, but the idea of 20 miles being 'far' is a bit odd to me. That's only a half hour or so drive, much closer than my wife's A partner. Must be a cultural thing, I can't imagine feeling separated or isolated by 20 miles, to me that's right next door. I can stand on a mountain and see farther than that on a clear day. . In the overpopulated United Kingdom, 20miles is a loooong way. It could take you much much longer than 30mins to drive that, especially if its into London, where Kimmyp used to live. People who live 20miles apart can even have completely different accents in this country! I think you should put a time limit on him. But don't be too overly upset about him having an affair. I have affairs all the time, and I still love my husband. I do not think sex and love compare. Great advice. KimmyP, I think LBs idea is brilliant. Let him get his flat, get yourself a solicitor or some good legal advice, and make sure you let him know every thing regarding how much he will be liable for- there are ways of making them pay, even if they dont earn much themselves. If he owes you £10k, and he is the one committing adultery, you could file for divorce citing adultery as the cause, and you can legally stay in the family home until your youngest child is 18, and he still has to pay you support money. He isn't entitled to any more than half of the profits of said home when its sold, and is entitled to even less if he owes you money, although I am not entirely sure how easy that is to prove. The law is VERY VERY much in YOUR favour Kimmyp, and if your H doesn't know that then he is in for a nasty shock. Get as much legal advice and support as you can, you will need it, and it will be to your benefit. I know this, because I am ashamed to say that I was an OW once, and my exMM wasn't put through the wringer as much as he could have been by his W- I think she let him off lightly.... he was a evil rat, who ended up with neither of us in the end. Thank goodness- we are both better off! The novelty of living with a 19 year old in a flat that he probably won't be able to afford will soon wear off- but in all honesty, do you REALLY want him back after he has done all this to you? Get tough girl, stay strong for your kids, and GET INFORMED- your best weapon is legal information. Good luck!
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