MsCrazy Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 I am new here on LS and I need help!! I have been in a serious relationship for 2 years now and about 4 months ago I have gotten this little crush on another guy! I can not seem to stop. I often have dreams of me with this other person only to wake up disappointed. I try to forget it but I can't. The other person does not know and I'm way too shy to start anything. I know this is just a harmless crush but I often think about well what if... I feel like a horrible gf! I feel so bad. I do love my bf and I want to be with him, but every time we fight I think of my crush and wonder. Is it okay or at least NORMAL to have a crush on someone when you are committed to someone else???? Please help me.
Meaplus3 Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 I am new here on LS and I need help!! I have been in a serious relationship for 2 years now and about 4 months ago I have gotten this little crush on another guy! I can not seem to stop. I often have dreams of me with this other person only to wake up disappointed. I try to forget it but I can't. The other person does not know and I'm way too shy to start anything. I know this is just a harmless crush but I often think about well what if... I feel like a horrible gf! I feel so bad. I do love my bf and I want to be with him, but every time we fight I think of my crush and wonder. Is it okay or at least NORMAL to have a crush on someone when you are committed to someone else???? Please help me. Hi There, I don't see anything wrong with having a crush on someone while in a comitted relationship.. as long as you don't act on it.. You say that you think about your crush more when you and your BF argue, this say's to be that you need to communitcate better with your BF to resolve what ever issue it's is that your arguing about. Good luck. AP:)
Author MsCrazy Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 Thanks for the response. I guess I was just expecting more people out there to tell me that they also had crushes on other people while being with someone else. This makes me feel like this is not common at all? I mean maybe its not okay to be having these feelings. Can anyone relate?!?!
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 How would you feel if you found out your boyfriend had a crush on another girl?
wizer Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I don't think the question should be, "is it ok to have a crush", because there IS no right or wrong, no one is judging you, no one is giving you a pass/fail grade. A better question might be, what are the problems in your existing relationship, what voids are being filled by the feelings you have with this other person? Is the problem with your current BF so serious that it isn't fixable? Would you rather be with this other person? What do they do that your BF isn't? Those are the questions you should be asking yourself.
Nemo Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 My advice is to think of your crush whenever you're having sex with your boyfriend. He'll appreciate the extra "energy," and you'll be able to get temporary release from your pent-up lustful thoughts.
mental_traveller Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 (edited) I've never had a crush on someone else if I'm in love with the girl I'm with. But I have seen other women and said "hmm" and thought what it would be like to have sex with them. Doesn't mean I actually want to, it's just a natural urge IMO. I think as long as it doesn't cross that line, it's ok. It's when it goes further that you have a problem. For example, I don't think about other girls when I'm having sex with my gf, I am not flirting with other women when she's not around, and so on. What about you and this second guy? Are you thinking about him a lot while you are with your boyfriend, when he is kissing you or even when you are in bed with him? If crush-guy flirted with you would you respond or make your excuses and leave? What if he made a play for you? Answer those questions and then you can see if it's a serious problem or a passing phase. Maybe crushes are the female equivalent of men lusting after hotties? As long as you keep it under control, and it doesn't become a full blown obsession, you should be ok. Try to imagine the other guy picking his nose and eating it, or taking a dump and then not cleaning the toilet or washing his hands afterwards, hopefully that will reduce the sex appeal Edited February 9, 2008 by mental_traveller
wizer Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 My advice is to think of your crush whenever you're having sex with your boyfriend. He'll appreciate the extra "energy," and you'll be able to get temporary release from your pent-up lustful thoughts. That might make things worse. It could easily lead to you falling for the crush even more than you already have.
Recommended Posts