Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 I read the thread you made last April. Wow man. I'm floored. You two are so incompatible, unhealthy, disjointed.... I can't believe you two are still together. Your values, your styles of communicating, how you view life are so completely different. It might be different if both of you were working to find ways to communicate and comprimise, but she won't budge and you get pissed at the stone walling she's giving you and you stop talking to her. I honestly think your relationship is past salvage. There's too much resentment, animosity, and distrust to successfully work through to find a healthy relationship. And the jist of what I got from reading your posts is that she's gorgeous, and you'll put up with whatever hell she puts you through because she's hot. Not because you actually enjoy her personality, or have anything in common with her. She's hot. You think that improves your social standing or something, so you suffer in silence rather then attempt to find someone who you will actually enjoy being with. Either have a real discussion with her about the REAL problems going on, or get out. But if your idea of 'life' involves suffering through a relationship that sucks just to keep someone you perceive as good looking... man, that's shallow. Let me say Thank you. seriously I really appreciate your bluntness. You say what you feel and I appreciate that. I may not agree with everything you've said but I respect it and agree w/ part. Thanks
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 Not if you really cared about her and were happy in the relationship which doesn't sound you are. At that age you both should know better sounds like you both need to take some time apart and grow up a bit before continuing the R just my advice tho. Honestly doesn't look like you have much respect for women in general just from the tone of the 2 posts I read and quoted on here from you. Not trying to be insulting but that may also be something you might want to work on if you want a happy adult R in the future. I've heard this stated a couple of times in this thread. Please tell me how I don't have much respect for women in general? Maybe i'm just slow and haven't been paying attention but seriously if you can point out stuff i've written that indicate that, I would appreciate it. Thanks.
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 I read the thread you made last April. Wow man. I'm floored. You two are so incompatible, unhealthy, disjointed.... I can't believe you two are still together. Your values, your styles of communicating, how you view life are so completely different. It might be different if both of you were working to find ways to communicate and comprimise, but she won't budge and you get pissed at the stone walling she's giving you and you stop talking to her. I honestly think your relationship is past salvage. There's too much resentment, animosity, and distrust to successfully work through to find a healthy relationship. And the jist of what I got from reading your posts is that she's gorgeous, and you'll put up with whatever hell she puts you through because she's hot. Not because you actually enjoy her personality, or have anything in common with her. She's hot. You think that improves your social standing or something, so you suffer in silence rather then attempt to find someone who you will actually enjoy being with. Either have a real discussion with her about the REAL problems going on, or get out. But if your idea of 'life' involves suffering through a relationship that sucks just to keep someone you perceive as good looking... man, that's shallow. I'm the last person that cares about social standing or anything like that. I could care less about showing off that I have a hot gf or some crap like that. We actually have a lot in common and I do enjoy her personality but obviously like you've stated from reading my earlier thread, we do have problems.
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 If your goal is to validate every last sentiment that your gf has about you, then do exactly as you stated above. You will be a childish, worthless piece o' dog shyt if you do this. That is low. That is spineless. If you don't like that she has absolutely no respect for you and treats you like crap, then leave. This isn't rocket science. Tell her it's over, pack your crap, and walk out the door. No more problems. Why are you whinning about this? You treat it like you're doing her some kind of favor by being an ass who can't hold a job. It isn't, ok. You're an ass who can't leave his gf because he can't keep a job . So change it.... Go forth and plunder. Be a real MAN! Grab that space where your balls used to be, and make a new life. Preferable with a woman who enjoys football. How is the manner I would prefer to get back at her more low and spineless than what she did to me? I never stated I feel like i'm doing her some kind of favor due to the loss of my two jobs post college. First off i guess that makes me a loser because I am just job hopping like crazy. ok. Well i've had two jobs, i guess that there makes me a loser that can't keep a job. I seriously don't get how you write that I can't leave her cos I can't keep a job. Umm okay. I can just go back to my family till I get back on my feet so that really wouldnt be a problem. But hey I appreciate your advice on what I should do to move forward.
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 ]Gee if you speak to her in real life as lovely as that all the time I just cant Imagen why she doesn't have much respect for you ha?[/b] Or the things you like for that matter respect goes both ways and seams def you and maybe her to some degree at this point are lacking in it! I'm a firm believer that men PMS as well especially when sports are involved lol m8, I did not say that to her. I wrote that I would have liked to say that but obviously its not a polite thing to say to anyone regardless of whether you love them or not.
Ariadne Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Hi, Your girlfriend is an idiot, and you are up for a life of misery with her. Ariadne
Trimmer Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Cassano - I know you are feeling a little on the defensive here, and I can understand that, at the same time as I can understand even some of the stronger points being thrown at you. The thing is: what are you getting from this relationship? From what you have described (and we have to admit, it's a very thin slice that we see through your eyes) it sounds like a somewhat dysfunctional relationship, without a lot of respect or admiration on either side, and with some anger and resentment boiling below the surface. Is this generally accurate, or do you have a good relationship most of the time, and the superbowl incident is just an isolated thing where it came to a head for some reason? So I don't see an easy answer to the specific superbowl issue, as in "here's who was right or wrong" or "here's how you handle that particular situation in the future..." I think it's a bigger question of: what is your vision for a relationship? Are you getting enough out of this relationship to "put up with" the atmosphere that you both contribute to, and if not, are you willing to work together to change it, or if that's not possible, are you willing to leave this relationship and hope for a better one in the future. Although I'm not putting the entire responsibility for the current state of this relationship on your shoulders - I'm sure you have both contributed - realize that in order to form better relationships in the future, it may be worth giving some thought to what you want a relationship to be - what is your vision for a good relationship? - and whether it might be to your benefit to make some changes within yourself, in order to attract a good person to fit that vision, and to ensure that you fit that vision yourself, and will be able to contribute positively to that relationship in the future...
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 Cassano - I know you are feeling a little on the defensive here, and I can understand that, at the same time as I can understand even some of the stronger points being thrown at you. The thing is: what are you getting from this relationship? From what you have described (and we have to admit, it's a very thin slice that we see through your eyes) it sounds like a somewhat dysfunctional relationship, without a lot of respect or admiration on either side, and with some anger and resentment boiling below the surface. Is this generally accurate, or do you have a good relationship most of the time, and the superbowl incident is just an isolated thing where it came to a head for some reason? So I don't see an easy answer to the specific superbowl issue, as in "here's who was right or wrong" or "here's how you handle that particular situation in the future..." I think it's a bigger question of: what is your vision for a relationship? Are you getting enough out of this relationship to "put up with" the atmosphere that you both contribute to, and if not, are you willing to work together to change it, or if that's not possible, are you willing to leave this relationship and hope for a better one in the future. Although I'm not putting the entire responsibility for the current state of this relationship on your shoulders - I'm sure you have both contributed - realize that in order to form better relationships in the future, it may be worth giving some thought to what you want a relationship to be - what is your vision for a good relationship? - and whether it might be to your benefit to make some changes within yourself, in order to attract a good person to fit that vision, and to ensure that you fit that vision yourself, and will be able to contribute positively to that relationship in the future... Thank you for trying to help in a positive manner, I appreciate that. I think the Superbowl incident was fairly isolated in terms of the 4 year period. It just seems that in the past year there's been more problems and issues. I will say that she did admit to a friend of hers that she did what she did on superbowl sunday to prove or show her control and her feeling that I have no right to refuse a request of hers since I am the one thats currently unemployed and she's paying the rent. I think we really need to work on our communication because thats been a big problem lately. I've been thinking when I get back on my feet job wise, that seeing a relationship therapist might be in order. Do you think thats a good idea or like some others have said we are too far gone for that.
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 Hi, Your girlfriend is an idiot, and you are up for a life of misery with her. Ariadne Straight to the point.
LoveLace Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I finally learned as a maturing woman, that the best way to handle your boyfriend ignoring you for sports, is to get in on the excitement with him (the "threesome" as storyrider called it)...it isn't like I have pretend to be into football as much as him, but I'm into spending time with him, and I want him to enjoy his own favortie things freely. But baseball or hockey on the other hand, are things I enjoy a lot, too...which makes it even better. The guy I'm involved with now is an Ex-baseball player...he loves it that I'm into the sport as much as I am. But he also knows I understand that he plays a lot of golf when it's nice outside so I won't normally hear from him on those days. No big deal. Some women eventually figure this all out, but some don't. The OP's GF may never get it. I say find a girl like me (cuz I'm the bomb, just kidding) who is into some sports but not as passionate as you and your buddies might be. It's a good medium.
Storyrider Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 but I'm into spending time with him, and I want him to enjoy his own favortie things freely. Exactly. As long as it isn't setting toads on fire, I'm all for it.
Dumbledore Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Exactly. As long as it isn't setting toads on fire, I'm all for it. Barbecued toad is delicious!
Storyrider Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Barbecued toad is delicious! Are you the second string quarterback?
Dumbledore Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Are you the second string quarterback? Gays often find that the glass ceiling is still in play.
Storyrider Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Gays often find that the glass ceiling is still in play. Only when they're naughty.
burning 4 revenge Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 And eat snacks. And listen to your guy get all wound up with energy that needs to be released somehow afterward. It's all good.I knew you liked the neanderthal types
Storyrider Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I knew you liked the neanderthal types I've only ever been with one guy that would slightly fit that bill and he was more interested in spanking me than cuddling on the couch. Also, he wanted me to go to the driving range with him to drive golf balls, or if I didn't want to participate, just watch. Riveting. And no snuggle potential. Do you think that is above and beyond the call of duty for a GF?
Storyrider Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Curious what the reverse-role equivalent of this would be. Would it be watching a chick flick? How about going clothes shopping?
burning 4 revenge Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I prefer chick flicks to the superbowl, but i dont really like either one
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I've heard this stated a couple of times in this thread. Please tell me how I don't have much respect for women in general? Maybe i'm just slow and haven't been paying attention but seriously if you can point out stuff i've written that indicate that, I would appreciate it. Thanks. LOL gee I dunno maybe by saying she should have just shut the F up or stopped her bitch*ng? Or maybe saying you should go to a wh*re if she doesn't put out for you. Which one of those may give me the slightest idea you have a low lever of respect for women in general? Oh and it doesn't matter if you said that to her or not the fact you think that in general is bad. If your that unhappy with each other that much and you have no reasons other wise then just split up.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Straight to the point. If you agree and find that fact amusing then why continue with the R?
blind_otter Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Curious what the reverse-role equivalent of this would be. Would it be watching a chick flick? How about going clothes shopping? I don't know that there is a chick equivalent. I was racking my brain trying to find some common ground, but I can't imagine my SO interrupting me and me thinking, "Damn, dude, just STFU!"
sb129 Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 I'm going to go against the grain on this one and say - it was a football game. I watched it too, it was exciting...BUT... You promised to fix the internet after it was over. You did not follow through with your promise, instead you proceeded to chat on the phone to your friends - during which time you could have been fixing the internet. TBH you shouldn't have promised to fix the internet in 30 sec - 1 min. Sure she did pull a pretty immature prank on you by saying she was going to get it on and then taking it back. I think you were BOTH pretty off base. I agree with this. I think you both acted badly. I can see where you are both coming from- when our internet breaks down, it really annoys me, esp cos usually its right in the middle of me posting a reply to a LS thread. BUT I know better than to interrupt my BF during an important sports event that he has been looking forward to. I now know how to fix the internet MYSELF so this kind of thing doesn't happen. But if a girl interrupted me during the World Series of Poker when it was head's up and one guy was all in then she'd be entering a world of pain. I know better than to do that too! Wonderboy and I have different interests- he is very into sports, and I am so-so about them. He has gotten me more interested lately, because he has a) taught me how to play poker b) taught me how to place bets on the football using his little "system" which is basic maths. Its not foolproof, but we have both made a fair bit of money recently, and it gets me more interested in watching the games. (Before anyone extols the perils of gambling, we both started with £20 at the beginning of the year, and have not had to top up the betting accounts with any more than that. We agreed that once that inital £20 is gone, thats it for the month. Neither of us drink alot, so its entertainment money. WB has won enough money to pay for a holiday out of his £20 and still has money to play with.) We also have an agreement that sex is never to be used as a weapon. I think that part of the fight was really low, and your GF overstepped the mark there.
Author cassano203 Posted February 9, 2008 Author Posted February 9, 2008 If you agree and find that fact amusing then why continue with the R? Um, I never stated that I agreed with the poster. I just found it amusing that she kept it concise and got straight to the point. Its not good to assume.
Author cassano203 Posted February 9, 2008 Author Posted February 9, 2008 LOL gee I dunno maybe by saying she should have just shut the F up or stopped her bitch*ng? Or maybe saying you should go to a wh*re if she doesn't put out for you. Which one of those may give me the slightest idea you have a low lever of respect for women in general? Oh and it doesn't matter if you said that to her or not the fact you think that in general is bad. If your that unhappy with each other that much and you have no reasons other wise then just split up. Well i guess thats your opinion and you're entitled to it. Because I think someone should stfu it means i have no respect for them? Ok. Perhaps I just want them to actually be quiet. Listen, whore is a word that can be used for both men and women in my opinion. I know of males who act like that and females who do the same. I don't think its disrespectful to call a spade a spade. I dont feel i was disrespecting women because I would not hesitate to call a man who sleeps around with a fair amount of women that word and I sho nuff would not be disrespecting him if its the truth. Lastly, I believe by now I've already been told that if were unhappy then we should split up. I've been told this a fair amount of times in the preceeding 7 pages so I think I can sorta get my mind around that fact, its not rocket science to me. Thanks for all the advice though, i do appreciate it.
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