Storyrider Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 And eat snacks. And listen to your guy get all wound up with energy that needs to be released somehow afterward. It's all good.
Nemo Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 And eat snacks. And listen to your guy get all wound up with energy that needs to be released somehow afterward. It's all good. It's certainly better than complaining that the Internet is broken, and you can't play some mindless online game. Whatever happened to initiative?
Storyrider Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 It's certainly better than complaining that the Internet is broken, and you can't play some mindless online game. Whatever happened to initiative? They need to find a game they can play together on occasion.
Author cassano203 Posted February 6, 2008 Author Posted February 6, 2008 This isn't just about this one incident with the Superbowl and her retaliation for it... Sure, I agree with the points above: you shouldn't have promised (only) one minute and not delivered, and she shouldn't have done the immature sex/retaliation thing. But it goes much deeper than this one incident: among other things, you guys suck at communication. You KNOW she doesn't "understand" how important sports are to you, yet you roll your eyes and act all sarcastic about the fact that she asked during the superbowl. How about: "Baby, these are the best and most important couple minutes of the year in all of sports - wanna come check it out with me, and I'll fix your internet when it's over?" Maybe she says no, but at least you've put out a vibe of sharing with her, attempting to include her, and trying to explain why you are not available... But I bet that's not your style, is it? Instead, inside you are boiling, and having to hold yourself back from saying "F*** OFF, bitch..." You think she doesn't get that vibe? This isn't just about the superbowl, it seems like you guys have some anger and resentment that you aren't working out very productively . Maybe you should do that. Even if she "understood" how important the superbowl was, I'm guessing you still find other ways to poke at each other when you are angry, and I bet there are other non-sports-related times that you feel like saying "f*** off" and think of her as a rude bitch, aren't there? Oh no, by now after 4 years she understands how important sports are to me. I told her, even if Jesus Christ attempted to speak to me in the last 2 mins of that game I would have probably ignored him.( Thats bad for me since I try to be a decent Christian:)). I probably would have ignored my mum, even my grandma. I didnt bother asking her to check it out w/me because she could care less for football, I've learnt that in the past few years. But everything you've said is right on point.
Author cassano203 Posted February 6, 2008 Author Posted February 6, 2008 Not fixing the internet RIGHT WHEN SHE NEEDS IT during the end of the Superbowl isn't worth her throwing a s*it fit over. Uhhmm, was she playing on the net? Or was she working on an assignment that had a deadline that had to be emailed in by a certain time? Still no reason for her to freak out.. Anyway, you two need to set some boundries and rules, respect eachother and learn to communicate calmly, instead of reacting like on Sunday. You both handled it the wrong way and that made the situation itself worse. Me too. My H and I would never pull that crap on eachother! He wouldn't put up with it and neither would I! She wasn't doing anything important on the internet. She was just looking up stuff. Mainly because we have 1 main TV w/ the dvr and she told me I could watch the 4th quarter on it rather than on the crap tv we have in the bedroom. She decided to get on my case after the internet went out, rather than seek another source of entertainment for a few minutes.
Author cassano203 Posted February 6, 2008 Author Posted February 6, 2008 Rams fan...same here Interrupting a guy and his sports is a big no-no. Requesting attention during this time, big no-no. But she probably just didn't realize how important it is to you. Instead she chose to see it as the game being more important to you than she is. And at that moment, yes that was true. The lap top problem was something that could wait but she didn't understand why. Remind her, you both have your things that your passionate about, things that seperate you as individuals, and this is only healthy. You need your seperate times to enjoy these things. Remind her, she has her figure skating and you have your sports. These are the times to support each other, not a good time for having any other expectations. Your not the only guy to get frustrated by something like this, believe that. I hate to say make rules, but establish one that says your sports are your time to yourself and that's it...then let her make a "rule" of her own to balance it out. Absolutely agree w/ this, I already tried a figure skating/football analogy with her but she immediately discredited it by saying she would always pause whatever she's watching to speak w/ me. I felt thats great but listen, when guys get in a zone w/ something, either playing sports or watching sports, they DO NOT WANT TO BE DISTURBED. Or maybe its just me. Seriously, even if she offered sex to me in the 4th quarter of the game, I would have rejected her. (You'll find that to be an incredible act of willpower by me after I explain the rest of the goodness thats been going on for the past year. Seriously now I believe every year after the 2nd year in a relationship gets more and more difficult).
Storyrider Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 She wasn't doing anything important on the internet. She was just looking up stuff. Mainly because we have 1 main TV w/ the dvr and she told me I could watch the 4th quarter on it rather than on the crap tv we have in the bedroom. She decided to get on my case after the internet went out, rather than seek another source of entertainment for a few minutes. Clearly she's jealous for the passion you're pouring into football. Her only option is to make it a threesome.
Author cassano203 Posted February 6, 2008 Author Posted February 6, 2008 When I was younger, I was with a guy who was really into football. I didn't get it. I understand the rules, the plays, etc. I didn't understand why it was okay for him to get 4 hours every sunday where I had to cow-tow to his wishes, but when I wanted to do something for 4 hours, he would demand I include him and cater to his likes and dislikes. It was NEVER equal. He got. I gave. I started throwing hissy fits. I guess what I'm saying is, this little incident goes so much deeper then one super bowl game, and an internet connection. If you can't figure it out, then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship, 'cause obviously you two aren't talking about what the problems are. My relationship now, if he wants 4 hours of any day to do something I might think of as boring, or inane, I wish him all the happiness he can get out of his hobby. Because I know I'll get the time I want to do the things I want to do, without him bytching and moaning about how boring and inane it is. Its a trade off, and we both win. So how often do you allow your gf to do things she really wants to do, without you bytching and complaining about it? Or do you drag her down like she drags you down? I'd say 90% of the time I take her where she wants to go or do whatever she wants to do. Granted not before I b*tch and complain about doing it, but almost always i'll still do what she wants to do.
Author cassano203 Posted February 6, 2008 Author Posted February 6, 2008 That was my point. I don't think those two are talking about the problems at all, nor do I believe either of them even understand what the problem is. And it's not just about football, or internet connections. You are also right. Our problems in the past year have gotten much deeper. I should recommend my first and only other thread on this site to anyone who is bored out of their mind and has a solid chunk of time to waste. It should be fun reading to realize someone else's relationship has been going down the toilet faster than yours, (if yours isn't going too well.) Continuing on from my first thread. I recently lost my job in the past month. My 2nd job after college and after basically being laid off from the 1st one, I got fired from this one for: Being on the phones at 7:01am rather than 7am, despite the work hours being 7am-4pm. The job involved heavy use of the telephone. No doubt this was my fault and I take/took full responsibility for it. My gf once again doesnt realize you don't kick a man when he's down and offers zero sympathy. Thats fine, I understand especially because she now has extra financial responsibility till I find another job. Well, I find out in her conversation w/ her good friend, she tells the friend that She had every right to do what she did because She is paying for everything and I don't deserve anything. Let me clarify that she is paying for rent in an apt both of us share, as well as the cable bill. I am paying for my stuff. Car pyt, phone bill and then the utility bill so I don't believe she should carry on such an attitude. Especially when she knows it sucks for me because I'm the type of dude that does not mind paying for everything. I personally would not want her to have to pay a dime and I felt this way at my last position in which i was earning less than her. She also continually mentions to her girlfriend about the need for a "real man" due to my job status and my "poor financial health". Both of which I've acknowledged and have been working on changing. The constant bickering over the past year led to her basically not wanting sex most of the time and me being the one initiating. The frustration when this happens is just immense. I'll finish up for tonight by saying the advice I got from other guys I told this to was basically to cut her loose now and run. Especially after what she pulled that night. Initially I felt it was time to do so but now I guess the child in me wants revenge. I want to get back on my feet w/ a solid job and get in a better financial position and then just turn the tableson her. Maybe by not making any attempts to engage in sex as well as me showing other women attention because she knows 100% of the time I only have eyes for her. I just feel she believes the grass is greener on the other side and if thats the case then thats sad for us.
Author cassano203 Posted February 6, 2008 Author Posted February 6, 2008 Clearly she's jealous for the passion you're pouring into football. Her only option is to make it a threesome. Mate, if she offered I may have considered:D but I believe she just wanted to get attention which she gets from me at other times, just not when a big game like the super bowl is on, or when one of my teams is playing. Man, where does one find a girl thats into sports like that. Damn, perhaps I need to start looking.
blind_otter Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 Initially I felt it was time to do so but now I guess the child in me wants revenge. I want to get back on my feet w/ a solid job and get in a better financial position and then just turn the tableson her. Maybe by not making any attempts to engage in sex as well as me showing other women attention because she knows 100% of the time I only have eyes for her. This is just disturbing and immature. Move on if you have to, but don't intentionally hurt the one you purport to love.
Storyrider Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 I wanted an excuse to post this link again:
ps123 Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 (edited) I guess one thing that entered my mind as I read this is: Having a team you like win the superbowl is the greatest night of your life since 1999?!?! Sounds like your priorities might need some adjusting. Edited February 6, 2008 by ps123
torranceshipman Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 DUMBEST thread EVER!!! The poor guy just wanted to watch the SuperBowl in peace...greatest sports event of the calendar year...only happens once...and his girlfriend freaks out because she's not getting enough attention?! And you guys get crazy at him and call him selfish!! Well if he is being selfish - then who cares - its not like he's selfish all the time, its just a coupla HOURS in a year! Its the frikkin SUPERBOWL and he LOVES it! Surely she can respect that?! Everyone has soimething that they have a real passion for, and its lovely to support your honey in that passion, not b**ch at them for it. And so what if he said its the greatest night of his life since 1999! Thats just a figure of speech and any great sports fan would understand that kind of comment anyways. If I had a boyfriend that got all nasty on me for 'not fixing his internet' in the last few mins of the SuperBowl I'd think he was an idiot.
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 DUMBEST thread EVER!!! The poor guy just wanted to watch the SuperBowl in peace...greatest sports event of the calendar year...only happens once...and his girlfriend freaks out because she's not getting enough attention?! And you guys get crazy at him and call him selfish!! Well if he is being selfish - then who cares - its not like he's selfish all the time, its just a coupla HOURS in a year! Its the frikkin SUPERBOWL and he LOVES it! Surely she can respect that?! Everyone has soimething that they have a real passion for, and its lovely to support your honey in that passion, not b**ch at them for it. And so what if he said its the greatest night of his life since 1999! Thats just a figure of speech and any great sports fan would understand that kind of comment anyways. If I had a boyfriend that got all nasty on me for 'not fixing his internet' in the last few mins of the SuperBowl I'd think he was an idiot. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. What you wrote is exactly how I've felt.
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 I guess one thing that entered my mind as I read this is: Having a team you like win the superbowl is the greatest night of your life since 1999?!?! Sounds like your priorities might need some adjusting. Why do my priorities need adjusting? I can honestly tell you nothing great has happened in my life since my team won the superbowl. Graduating HS and College are included. I don't consider either great achievements because I hated my time at both schools. What else can one consider a great achievement? I'm not married, I don't have kids with me, I haven't made a ton of money or purchased a great car or done something extraordinary so forgive me if the one time a sports team of mine has won something has more meaning to me than any crap i've done in the past 9 years.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I guess one thing that entered my mind as I read this is: Having a team you like win the superbowl is the greatest night of your life since 1999?!?! Sounds like your priorities might need some adjusting. That's what I thought too your life must be really awful.
O'Malley Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 What else can one consider a great achievement? I'm not married, I don't have kids with me, I haven't made a ton of money or purchased a great car or done something extraordinary so forgive me if the one time a sports team of mine has won something has more meaning to me than any crap i've done in the past 9 years. So you don't think anything you've done in the last 9 years is important or has value? I think both you and your girlfriend acted immature. You bailed on fixing her internet after the game when you said you would, and then she retaliated. Now you're going to 'turn the tables on her' before you break up. Why not break up with her now, if you so adamant about being in the right?
Walk Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I want to get back on my feet w/ a solid job and get in a better financial position and then just turn the tableson her. Maybe by not making any attempts to engage in sex as well as me showing other women attention because she knows 100% of the time I only have eyes for her. I just feel she believes the grass is greener on the other side and if thats the case then thats sad for us. If your goal is to validate every last sentiment that your gf has about you, then do exactly as you stated above. You will be a childish, worthless piece o' dog shyt if you do this. That is low. That is spineless. If you don't like that she has absolutely no respect for you and treats you like crap, then leave. This isn't rocket science. Tell her it's over, pack your crap, and walk out the door. No more problems. Why are you whinning about this? You treat it like you're doing her some kind of favor by being an ass who can't hold a job. It isn't, ok. You're an ass who can't leave his gf because he can't keep a job. So change it.... Go forth and plunder. Be a real MAN! Grab that space where your balls used to be, and make a new life. Preferable with a woman who enjoys football.
Walk Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I read the thread you made last April. Wow man. I'm floored. You two are so incompatible, unhealthy, disjointed.... I can't believe you two are still together. Your values, your styles of communicating, how you view life are so completely different. It might be different if both of you were working to find ways to communicate and comprimise, but she won't budge and you get pissed at the stone walling she's giving you and you stop talking to her. I honestly think your relationship is past salvage. There's too much resentment, animosity, and distrust to successfully work through to find a healthy relationship. And the jist of what I got from reading your posts is that she's gorgeous, and you'll put up with whatever hell she puts you through because she's hot. Not because you actually enjoy her personality, or have anything in common with her. She's hot. You think that improves your social standing or something, so you suffer in silence rather then attempt to find someone who you will actually enjoy being with. Either have a real discussion with her about the REAL problems going on, or get out. But if your idea of 'life' involves suffering through a relationship that sucks just to keep someone you perceive as good looking... man, that's shallow.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I feel she should have just shut the F&*K up and relaxed till I was done with the post game and all that. I shouldnt have had to tell her. I should also mention she was currently at "that time of the month" but i don't feel that should be an excuse for throwing a tantrum like that. Gee if you speak to her in real life as lovely as that all the time I just cant Imagen why she doesn't have much respect for you ha? Or the things you like for that matter respect goes both ways and seams def you and maybe her to some degree at this point are lacking in it! I'm a firm believer that men PMS as well especially when sports are involved lol
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 We've been together 4 years, she's 24 and i'm 25. Thats the way to make your man find some $5 whore for a quick shag . Doing or saying crap like that. . Not if you really cared about her and were happy in the relationship which doesn't sound you are. At that age you both should know better sounds like you both need to take some time apart and grow up a bit before continuing the R just my advice tho. Honestly doesn't look like you have much respect for women in general just from the tone of the 2 posts I read and quoted on here from you. Not trying to be insulting but that may also be something you might want to work on if you want a happy adult R in the future.
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 DUMBEST thread EVER!!! I agree, but for completely opposite reasons.
Author cassano203 Posted February 7, 2008 Author Posted February 7, 2008 ]So you don't think anything you've done in the last 9 years is important or has value? [/b] I think both you and your girlfriend acted immature. You bailed on fixing her internet after the game when you said you would, and then she retaliated. Now you're going to 'turn the tables on her' before you break up. Why not break up with her now, if you so adamant about being in the right? Thats what i previously stated. I personally don't feel anything i've done in the past 9 years was important or had value. Thats not a difficult statement to make and I don't feel it makes me a terrible person.
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