Author GRITS07 Posted February 22, 2008 Author Posted February 22, 2008 First of all, I am legally separated and my agreement states that each of us can go on with our lives as if we are single. I'm free to date and frankly think that I did take the high road - my husband dated, among other things, while still coming to our marriage bed. I'm openly dating, nothing secretive, no hiding, no deceit. I'm not at all convicted of it. With that being said, however, I have moral issues which keeps me in check. My guy isn't going anywhere - we're waiting my divorce out - a year wait. That should give us both a clear indication of our relationship. I'm not in a hurry, per se, I just hate feeling like I have this black cloud over me.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 First of all, I am legally separated and my agreement states that each of us can go on with our lives as if we are single. I'm free to date and frankly think that I did take the high road - my husband dated, among other things, while still coming to our marriage bed. I'm openly dating, nothing secretive, no hiding, no deceit. I'm not at all convicted of it. With that being said, however, I have moral issues which keeps me in check. My guy isn't going anywhere - we're waiting my divorce out - a year wait. That should give us both a clear indication of our relationship. I'm not in a hurry, per se, I just hate feeling like I have this black cloud over me. well then if the lsa papers are signed then so be it.
White Flower Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I do know what I'm talking about and I'm not rewriting anything, you are. I never said you wasnt the victim but he's cheating and your cheating. Two wrongs dont make it right. Whoopdee do, good for you. Now let's see if your strong enough to do this on your own. Without a so called "Friend". I never expected anyone to stay faithful, if anything you should know that human beings got free will to do what they want. But always in your posts you sound resentful about his actions now, If your divorcing, Really why should you even care!??? Huh? You dont have to do anything to please me. I want people to go about things the right way, step by step. That way your process of healing will be complete. You ever hear of healing right and healing wrong. Masking your pain by an endorphin rush through cheating is not the right way to heal. But that's just my opinion I could be wrong. I wouldnt say save you from marriage itself persay but by focusing your feelings on another man so soon, before the papers are signed and plus your going through your cancer surgeries and whatnot is not such a good idea. That's just what I feel. You got a whole lot on your plate right now and your only compounding it. And stop calling him your "Friend" It's really insulting to other's intelligence. The saying about the pot and kettle is a saying, but the old addage remains true. You cannot call another person out on the same stuff your doing, it looks hypocritical. Why are you being defensive about it?YOU are the defensive one, CB. And I came out originally as the OW who was involved in an A who was seeking advice and clarity on my A. Later I shared my experience with dealing with my H's EA because it pertained to some threads at the time. It was never about resentment; you must have read into it. I only posted to share my experience on it. And I refute the idea it is hypocrytical. He cheated and I got over it. I'm sure he'll also get over me. No hypocricy and no resentments. I do, however, resent him for being a control freak and for disrespecting our financial future. That has nothing to do with his former OW or my current OM. And my OM is definitely my friend. My very best friend. How can that insult anyone's intelligence? If you would have taken the high road you could have ended the marriage peacefully with self respect, and a sense of closure. Even now you still have this bitterness about your husband, That's why I want you to take the high road because you got issues. You want to see if I can do this on my own? LOL, I've been doing everything on my own for 22 years, Chrome. I finally figured out that actually living alone will be easier than living with him and pretending to have a H. Don't you worry about me. I've been alone for a very long time. And I will heal better without all HIS resentment in the house regardless if OM stays in my life or not. I am woman, hear me roar.
White Flower Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Again, my apologies to Grits. Keep us posted on your D and future R:)
Author GRITS07 Posted March 3, 2008 Author Posted March 3, 2008 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Need some help here to stay on the right track, please? My stbxh was at a local bar this weekend and he told my friend that he goes there pretty often and that he has seen this woman a few times. He obviously is moving on with his life. At first, I felt the familiar pain of jealousy, and then I stopped myself and did the self talk strategy. First, what respectable woman would want a relationship with someone who cheated on their wife with someone young enough to be his daughter, and less than a year after he was married? Pretty skanky woman would be my thought. Okay, I tried this, but it still hurts. I also started to see a man whom I’m pretty crazy about so why would this be a problem for me? Any advice out there? I don’t want to feel this way, it’s not in my best interest and these feelings will sabotage my future with this new guy in my life. What’s wrong with me?[/sIZE][/FONT]
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