PandorasBox Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 This was a topic of discussion the other day on lunch break from work. I wanted others opinons. Do you feel, if your spouse or partner, asccuses you of cheating, even though you haven't been, do you feel it more than likely means they are the ones doing the cheating, and they want to turn the tables to ease their guilty mind? Or....do you feel it can mean they are just plain insecure?
Kamille Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 I would vote for plain insecure before thinking that they are doing the cheating. But friends who have been cheated on say that their partners did exhbiti very controlling behaviour and would accuse them of boing untrustworthy. But no matter what, it would be a sign that something is wrong in the R.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 Kamille is correct in my opinion. It shows that they are insecure in the relationship. Now, what they do with that insecurity is another question....
blind_otter Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 I had an ex who cheated on me over 8 times. He would ALWAYS be accusing me of cheating on him. Maybe that's just a coincidence, though. Maybe he was an insecure cheater.
Woggle Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 It most likely means they are cheating. I got the 3rd degree from my ex all the time yet in the end she was the one that was cheating. Women who are doing wrong by you will go to lengths to make you look like the bad guy and that is what the cheating accusations are about.
JackJack Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 It most likely means they are cheating. I got the 3rd degree from my ex all the time yet in the end she was the one that was cheating. Women who are doing wrong by you will go to lengths to make you look like the bad guy and that is what the cheating accusations are about. Woggle, you said "WOMEN", and I understand because it was a woman who cheated on you. But it really means ANYONE, not just women. Men and women. It can be said for both.
JackJack Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 This was a topic of discussion the other day on lunch break from work. I wanted others opinons. Do you feel, if your spouse or partner, asccuses you of cheating, even though you haven't been, do you feel it more than likely means they are the ones doing the cheating, and they want to turn the tables to ease their guilty mind? Or....do you feel it can mean they are just plain insecure? IMO, I think it depends. Usually if someone is cheating on you, them accusing you is just one sign of what they may be doing. usually there are other signs that possible may indicate they are cheating not just them accusing you, but maybe some people might miss those other signs. I think there are some people who are just insecure, period, esepcailly if they were burned before.
Geishawhelk Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 In my experience (both personal and professional!) I find cheaters actually seem to become generally more loving and considerate as a way of masking their guilt... I have found this is quite typical of male cheaters... women, on the other hand, tend to go the other way, and become more detached, resisting pressure from their partners, complaining of being stifled and suffocated, or that their partner is exerting control... This is a generalisation, and it can work the other way too...but it's more common to find these scenarios.... When the accusations have no foundation, there is an issue of low self-esteem and insecurity. Unfortunately, those accused can become impatient, angered and indignant at the accusations - and carry them through....! "you're cheating!" "No, I'm not! "you're cheating!" "No, I'm not! "you're cheating!" "No, I'm not! "you're cheating!" "No, I'm not! "you're cheating!" "No, I'm not! Then they cheat.... "See? I knew I was right!!" It needs careful communication to get to the bottom of these issues. I'd love to be in on one of your lunch breaks!!
Pyro Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 This was a topic of discussion the other day on lunch break from work. I wanted others opinons. Do you feel, if your spouse or partner, asccuses you of cheating, even though you haven't been, do you feel it more than likely means they are the ones doing the cheating, and they want to turn the tables to ease their guilty mind? Or....do you feel it can mean they are just plain insecure? It could go either way. Depends on alot of things.
halfarock Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 Every girlfriend who has accused me of cheating was cheating herself.
Florida Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 (edited) Another possibility is "guilty mind" scenario, perhaps more rare, I'm not sure. This would be where one partner recalls episodes where they had behaved inappropriately in a past relationship. They knew what their intentions were when doing so. Perhaps they were trying to lure another, to "bridge" to another relationship from the one they were in. Then in the new relationship, they see their partner repeating some of these seemingly innocent actions, perhaps they would think nothing of it if not for the past knowledge of themselves. Then everything takes on a more suspicious and guilty look, projection and inference abounds! Because they are projecting what they know their intentions had been when doing same said actions in the past. Just another theory! Edited February 6, 2008 by Florida
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