556fmj Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 I'm going to write this as emotionless and care-free as possible. Quite some time ago, I spent two years in the best relationship of my life. It must have been rocky from her point of view, but I was the happiest young guy in the world. I realize that thinking love could last from the age of 16 was inconceivable, but I believed it none-the-less and stayed head-strong throughout the entire thing. Well she dumped me, stating confidently and with little care, "He plays basketball. You just play with your guns." What hurts one more than being told that what he or she does is the reason they are not good enough? Its been three years and theres not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. It echoes in my head as I go to sleep. I've had no relationships since then. I find relationships to be a huge competition. Every time the girl meets someone, I have to play big-shot and try to out do him or she'll leave me. I don't feel like living my life in that way. I don't want to watch another girl drift away from me. In fact, I'd prefer a girl tells me she doesn't think I'm good enough now. I thrive off of it. Am I sick? Maybe so. I'm waiting for someone to prove me wrong. But I'm not going to stick my neck out again. It's a waste of my time.
norajane Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 (edited) You don't have to act like a big shot. You need to date women who appreciate you for who you are and aren't looking for a big shot. Not all women are, you know. It's unfortunate that your ex tossed off a stupid comment while breaking up with you, probably to hurt you, and you're basing the rest of your life off that comment. Keep in mind, there will always be someone out there who is smarter, stronger, richer, whatever than you. AND there will always be someone who is smarter, prettier, hotter, more fun, whatever than the girl you're after, too. She's not the end-all and be-all of women, no matter who she is. You don't have to better than anyone, you just need to be who you are. You're putting women off by acting like someone you aren't. Be yourself. The girl who is attracted to you just as you are will think that you are good enough and wont dump you for someone 'better' - provided that she is mature, genuine, and has integrity herself. Edited February 5, 2008 by norajane
BalancenLuv20 Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 You don't have to act like a big shot. You need to date women who appreciate you for who you are and aren't looking for a big shot. Not all women are, you know. It's unfortunate that your ex tossed off a stupid comment while breaking up with you, probably to hurt you, and you're basing the rest of your life off that comment. Keep in mind, there will always be someone out there who is smarter, stronger, richer, whatever than you. AND there will always be someone who is smarter, prettier, hotter, more fun, whatever than the girl you're after, too. She's not the end-all and be-all of women, no matter who she is. You don't have to better than anyone, you just need to be who you are. You're putting women off by acting like someone you aren't. Be yourself. The girl who is attracted to you just as you are will think that you are good enough and wont dump you for someone 'better' - provided that she is mature, genuine, and has integrity herself. Very well said Norajane. I can tell from your response you possess a great deal of class and experience from previous relationships. My ex was such an extrovert and I was the introvert. When she found her new love, he was the big extrovert with a huge social spectrum like she had. For months I felt like I had to COMPETE with that, thinking it would help me get over her/possibly get her back. I was just a mess and failed miserably at it feeling more alone than I ever had. Then slowly I began to finally snap out of it and realize, "You know what I'm not gonna compete with that nor do I want to. I am who I am, I have a few friends who love me for who I am and now it's time I start loving me for me." Ya I still think of the girl and I know with the personality I have it will be hard to meet an awful lot of girls, but at least now I can feel comfortable walking in my own two shoes again and living my life the way it was intended to be lived.
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