Wheetabix Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 (edited) Hello Break-up Community!! First timer here....thought I might share my story, gives me an excuse to vent it which im sure is therapudic in some way.. About me: Female, 34 yrs. of age, work at a hospital, never married and no kidies, by choice. About him: Male, 36 yrs. of age, works in the computer world, Divorced w/ 4 kids, 3 of which are his and 1 she brought into the relationship who considers him her father. Well, we meet one lovely sunny sunday morning on the internet. He was married and I had just gotten out of a 5 yrs relationship. We meet for drinks, we laughed, we had great sex and continued to date for a couple months...UNTIL oh yes and here it comes ladies and gents...the WIFE found out and then he left her and divorced her and moved in with me. Fast forward 2 1/2 yrs. and we are still together..UNTIL a week and half ago. We got into a random argument over random crap and he blurts out loud " I think we should just be roommates " . I was shocked for a split second however this huge feeling of relief came over me and I realized that maybe this was for the best. I took his words and ran with them without even realizing it really and I decided that YES, I dont want to be with him either!! Well, 3 days pass without either of us talking and the i say to him..So, what are u plans as far as moving? He says, I thought we would just get past this argument and move on?!?! Im like?!?! What??? He says, well yeah, we always argue and then we make-up. I say that we didnt just argue, you said that we are only "roommates" from this day forward...and i took that as we are broken-up. He then called me every name in the book and then proceeded to tell me everything that wrong with me including regreting he ever meet me. So basically the table got turned on him and he wasent expecting to actually break-up. I'm not going to go into all the reasons on why this relationship didnt work or sling any mud either way...it's all happening for a reason and I believe he will see this also as a positive move within time. The seperation is hard on me too, however i dont show it as well as he does...For me its more so the kids that i will miss that i built a relationship with over the past 2 years. He says I have no soul or emotion becuase I never opened up to him emotionally in the relationship..I see it as, If he was the right guy for me then I dont think I would have to put any effort into opening up...it would just happened naturally without me even trying. I believe love isnt complicated when it's meant to be. We had broken up a few times this past 12 months, so i am not really sure why this is all such a shock for him. Btw, there was no cheating or lies..its just i feel we arent compatible for the long haul of commitment. We both are very set in our ways and i think its better we split now 2 years into it rather then 5 yrs down the road. He is a great dad and I am sure he will make someone else very happy in the future. It's currently hard living with someone that is grieving the relationship. I'm not sure if anyone has gone through this on here..but it's almost like he is grieving a death...he askes alot fo question on a random basis and no matter what I say it's never the right answer. Nothing I say makes him feel better, not even when it makes all the sense in the world. I just try and listen and answer as best as I can and hope he wont flip out and twist my words. I know he is hurting and I am trying to be understanding it's just hard when someone is yelling at you and telling you eveything thats wrong with you..ya know!! Anyway, I just wanted to share and vent my story. To all the broken hearted..keep your head-up, I promise the feeling of doom will pass, it just takes time. ((Hugz)) Ciao Edited February 5, 2008 by Wheetabix
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