carrot10 Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I bought a couch from a friend of mine who lives downtown. I have been trying to pick it up since Nov! I don't have a truck but my ex does and so does my boyfriend. I have asked my BF a couple of times and he has offered to get it for me but something has come up every weekend we decide to do it. Anyway my ex is coming into town to see our daughter and he has a truck (we are very good friends) My bf knows that we talk and he is not the jealous type at all (we've been together 5mos) Is it wrong to ask my ex to go get this for me? What do you think??
amaysngrace Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 What do you think?? Ordinarily I'd say no because it would step on your BFs toes maybe. But seeing how he doesn't come through for you I would say yeah, go ahead and ask your ex.
Trialbyfire Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Why not ask your b/f what he thinks? Nothing sparks motivation like competitive men. If nothing else, your b/f will say "sure...that's a good idea" since as you mentioned, your b/f is not the jealous type.
oppath Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I would ask your boyfriend "could you help me get this couch this weekend? Otherwise, my ex is in town to see [daughter's name]. He has a truck and he'd probably help me." Asking this way makes it your boyfriend's choice, plus, you'd be making your interactions with your ex visible to him, which is important in building and maintaining trust. He might not appear to be jealous, but it is possible he holds a lot inside so he does not come off that way. That's how I was with an ex, though the situation was different because I assume your ex knows you are dating and have a boyfriend. It's possible that he is not jealous but has felt disrespected at times and kept it in, and if you don't tell him in advance, it might hurt him. So don't have your ex do it behind his back. Just ask him "this weekend, I'd like to get that couch. Can you help? If not, ex is in town visiting Sarah and he has a truck, so I'll ask him." Your bf can't get jealous or hurt over that because it is his choice. He can level up and help you, or if he can't (which is weak sauce) then you are making your friendship with your ex visible to him, which is how you build trust in those situations.
quankanne Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I'm with o-p ... let BF know you still need to get the furniture, but have an alternative means of picking it up if he's not able to help. if he knows you and the father of your child are on civil terms, I don't see why that should be a big hairy deal ...
amaysngrace Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I say screw the BF and just go ask the ex. You've been asking him since November and he's yet to help you out. If BF doesn't want expectations placed upon him then you should take matters into your own hands. Who cares if BF is uncomfortable that your ex helped you out? Doesn't he realize that you're uncomfortable sitting on the floor!
Enema Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Do it, but pay your ex-h with a 6 pack or something as regular friends do.
THE THRONE Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I say screw the BF and just go ask the ex. You've been asking him since November and he's yet to help you out. If BF doesn't want expectations placed upon him then you should take matters into your own hands. Who cares if BF is uncomfortable that your ex helped you out? Doesn't he realize that you're uncomfortable sitting on the floor! I'm with o-p ... let BF know you still need to get the furniture, but have an alternative means of picking it up if he's not able to help. if he knows you and the father of your child are on civil terms, I don't see why that should be a big hairy deal ... Why not ask your b/f what he thinks? Nothing sparks motivation like competitive men. If nothing else, your b/f will say "sure...that's a good idea" since as you mentioned, your b/f is not the jealous type. All of these need to be considered as they all hold merit.
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