eagle5 Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Last night I had a dream where my ex gf and I were walking hand in hand talking about how stupid it was that she left. We agreed to give it another go and of course that's when I woke up!!! I've been in a down mood all day because of that dream, I've read the stuff you dream is your mind sorting through unresolved issues, its been nearly 2 months since the split now and I thought I was over the dreaming stage, that was the first in quite a while. I wish it (really) was the two of us meeting on a higher plain to talk things through, but I spent yesterday throwing away some holiday mementos and other things that were part of us so it was probably just that going through my head. Do you all find your whole outlook on your day can be affected by a dream? It's horrible, I need to snap out of it. I suppose though that if we knew how to control the mind, we wouldn't need to air our feelings on forums like this one, maybe it would even be boring.....maybe not, if only we could just switch off.......
sandflea Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I've been divorced 3 years and I still occassionally have the dreams. They get less frequent. Hang in there. For me, the dream evolves. Yes, she's always in it - but it's changed from her walking away - leaving me devastated, to me seeing her, and her new man, and me not really feeling the loss. Now, when I see her (or them) in my dream I'm not angry, or hurt, or sad - It just feels awquard. Embarassing. Weird. It's only a bad dream. The worst part of it is over. SF
Author eagle5 Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 Thanks sf, That's good to know, I've actually had dreams where I've accepted it but this one was like a big step back, maybe it will just happen once in a while like you say. It's the mood it puts me in the next day I hate, yet I know I'm acting that way!! Argh, def a case of 2 steps forward and 1 back...
amaysngrace Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Argh, def a case of 2 steps forward and 1 back... well that's much better than one step forward two steps back.
sandflea Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Thanks sf, That's good to know, I've actually had dreams where I've accepted it but this one was like a big step back, maybe it will just happen once in a while like you say. It's the mood it puts me in the next day I hate, yet I know I'm acting that way!! Argh, def a case of 2 steps forward and 1 back... It's just your subconsious "reminding" you of your loss. I hate the dreams too. You'll be fine - just breathe and keep moving. We've all been there.
Author eagle5 Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 Cheers sf, I'll try just that, and that's very tru amaysngrace, suppose I'm heading in the right direction.
amaysngrace Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 You are heading in the right direction. Did you stop to think that you woke up so you wouldn't have to be in a relationship with her in your dream? It's like your mind saying you didn't want to go there again?
ninjaturtles Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 No need to worry. I know exactly how you feel because just yesterday, I had a dream about my EX. It felt so real...I woke up and burst into tears. In the dream, My Ex and I got back together. He was holding me, etc..and I asked him the dream..'If you care about me, why did you treat me that way'?...Well he was about to answer and I woke up. I felt so so sad. I cried and cried..bear in mind that we broke up a little over 4 months ago. I wondered why I dreamt about him yesterday, and I remembered that before I went to bed, I was thinking about him so much etc. Do not feel worried for feeling sad. I guess the explanation you gave says it all. Anyway my advice for you is it can only get better. Next time you have such dreams, you may not feel as affected as you felt today etc. My ex treated me badly after the breakup so when I woke up i switched my mind back to the horrible things he did to me. Still didnt prevent me from crying anyway. It is part of the getting over process I guess....So dont be discouraged and stay strong.xxxx
Author eagle5 Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 Some really good advice there, thankyou all. Sometimes you know the answer deep down but need to hear others say it, thst's why I've found LS so invaluable.
Recommended Posts