wizzlebee Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Im not talking to my bf and i want to know by you guys if im being childish. I was over at my bf's house on Saturday night, we were just laying in bed watching a movie when a friend of his came over. I was half undressed so i told him to close the bedroom door behind him. Anyways i got dressed properly and went inside to join the company. My bf told me in a nice way to go back to the room. This i didnt mind cause i thought maybe the two of them want to discuss something personal. But i could hear everything from the room and they were talking about things that i was involved with too. Some of you might know that the bf and I are planning a holiday. Well this guy is too and that is all they spoke about.About things to do, and the visas we need. And that is what frustrated me, because why was i sent like a small child to the room. I wanted to go home. But because it was late i had to wait for my bf, to take me home. So on the way home i wasnt talking to him in the car and he asks me if im mad because he sent me away, i didnt answer him. He's reason was when i came to sit down he could see that he's friend got uncomfortable.And the reason for that was because i said he must close the bedroom door and apparently this guy was about to come into the room to say hi. This reason is beyond me and doesnt make sense. He's friend probalby just dont like me.F*ck knows. So yesterday i hardly spoke to my bf. I dont feel i want to. I feel like he would do whatever(even if it hurts me) to please his friends. IDK.
Author wizzlebee Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 To add to this frustration was the weekend before ,this same friend my bf and two others went out while i stayed at home on the Saturday. I wasnt invited with. Neither was a invited with the Sunday out for drinks with my bf. Also i was on the phone with him on his office phone line and his cell phone rings , its one of this buddies , what does he do put the phone down on me regardless of the importance of our call to take that call. Stuff like this irritates me , i suppose thats why im mad the way i am, not only because of being sent out the room on Saturday. Its everything combined.
Walk Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Is he normally like this? Or has this been progressing for a while? I'd be hurt too if I felt that my bf placed more importance on his friend then he did on me. Its especially hard when you don't understand the reasons your bf is doing this. You end up feeling rejected, unwanted, and set aside by the person who is supposed to accept you the most. I also think you didn't handle the situation as well as you probably should've. Giving him the silent treatment might make you feel better in the short term, but if you want to bridge the gap, then you have to communicate with him. Its kind of childish to subject someone to a silent treatment. Plus its hurtful. Not sure if you've ever been on the receiving end of one of those, but its really destructive. You need to actually talk to your bf about the situation. And I would strongly suggest asking him why he's been focusing on his friend lately. Maybe there is a legitimate reason? Maybe your bf is feeling pressured by the friend, and he's honestly looking for a way to have both of you in his life. Could you find a way to help him discuss what's going on in his life right now? Another possibility is that your bf is feeling a little clausterphobic in the relationship lately. If you punish him for wanting alone time with his friends it's going to compound how he's feeling and he'll push you away even more. Would it be possible for you to find a comprimise with him? Let him know you're fine with him going out with his friends, or having alone time with them, but to define a better way for him to get that. IE: if he needs to speak to his friend, then he can tell you he'll call you back in 10 minutes. (instead of putting you on hold) Maybe you can give him some examples of how he can still give you the focus you want, while allowing him to spend the time he needs with his friends. You could suggest a different night for the two of you to spend time together when he mentions he'd like to go out with his friends. Like Saturday night you'd love if he'd spend it with his friends, but ask him if he would spend Sunday afternoon with just you. Most important though, talk to him. Ask him how the two of you can comprimise to make this work for both of you.
Author wizzlebee Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 Hi Walk I dont mind my bf spending time with his friends without me. He can go out as much as he wants with them but not to the point that im neglected which i've been feeling lately.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 It sounds like a misunderstanding. The friend thought you were being rude and didnt want to speak, so when you came in hes wondering why you want to join in the conversation.And your b/f oviously didnt explain to his friend that you said close the door because you were making sure you were dressed appropriate for company.
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