ismellsogood Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Would you date someone who is less socially active/popular as you are? I'm a college senior, about to graduate in May, but I'm still surrounded by the whole party atmosphere (which I myself am over). When some people find out that I don't have one of those stereotypical "girl groups" that I do everything with, they get turned off. I'm very independent, and although I only have 2 best friends (I see each of them several times a week and we go out often...shopping, drinking, etc.), I'm very happy. I'm very school and work oriented and I like my alone time (I'm not hiding from people...I'm just doing my own thing!). I'm very social in classes and I always have friends to talk to...I just don't hang out with many of them outside of class. Would you males out there consider a girl who is not as socially active as you are/into the party scene? A girl who's really happy with those circumstances, like me? I'm interested in a guy who's more social than I am. Right now I feel like this is such an immature question, but hey, I'm still in college living on campus and surrounded by people who think that partying is everything.
AllInOne Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I don't think you social life as described would be much of an issue for most guys.
Florida Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I'm interested in a guy who's more social than I am. Right now I feel like this is such an immature question, but hey, I'm still in college living on campus and surrounded by people who think that partying is everything. Be prepared to always be available to hang out with him at parties and friends and all that, or be prepared to be very comfortable and trusting when you don't feel like it all the time but he goes without you. Social habits can help or break a new relationship. When I 1st met my BF I was (still am) like you. He loved going out, seeing friends, going to almost every get together. It created some friction because I wasn't enjoying it as much, and yet I didn't think there was apoint to be in a relationship where one partner shows up everywhere without the other partner. He always wanted me with him, but I needed time alone too, and I'm a workaholic. He is more like me now, very moderate, but it was really tough at first. You are pretty much banking on that he will change or you have to change. Realistically, a social vs non social will not work.
blind_otter Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Realistically, a social vs non social will not work. I dunno. My SO is very social. He has a wide network of friends and work associates that he hangs out with regularly. He's always been very social AFAIK. I, OTOH, am pretty introverted. I have a few friends that I hang out with regularly, but not that often. I am a home body. I prefer to spend my evenings at home. My SO does like to include me in his activities. Sometimes I go, sometimes I don't. But we seem to work it out fine without hardly any arguments.
Florida Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I dunno. My SO is very social. He has a wide network of friends and work associates that he hangs out with regularly. He's always been very social AFAIK. I, OTOH, am pretty introverted. I have a few friends that I hang out with regularly, but not that often. I am a home body. I prefer to spend my evenings at home. My SO does like to include me in his activities. Sometimes I go, sometimes I don't. But we seem to work it out fine without hardly any arguments. That's good! Blind-otter is it your SO who doesn't like having any female friends but you? (correct me if I'm wrong) That makes sense then, he gives you no reason to fret. If a guy was anti-female friends and he was more social, then I would have to revise my statement "social vs non-social won't work" to put in that exception. And you are both okay when you stay home and he goes out. My BF gets upset and maybe a little resentful when I can't make it with him to some social occasions. There is more of a story behind that though, and I don't want to thread hijack!
blind_otter Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 That's good! Blind-otter is it your SO who doesn't like having any female friends but you? (correct me if I'm wrong) yep, that's him. He does socialize with the wives and GFs of his male friends, but when he goes out it's always golf, poker, watching the game with his guy friends... And you are both okay when you stay home and he goes out. Hah, that's another story. He's a recovering alcoholic so at this point he rarely goes out. He used to go out drinking and not show up until early in the AM the next day. Now that he's sober, he hasn't been hanging out with friends as much. My BF gets upset and maybe a little resentful when I can't make it with him to some social occasions. There is more of a story behind that though, and I don't want to thread hijack! Well I have to admit, mine does too. This past weekend there was a pot luck brunch that one of his friends was throwing (happened to be a guy I went to HS with, one I never really liked all that much because he used to beg to copy my biology homework every damn day). I woke up feeling vomitous (due to pregnancy) and didn't want to go and he pouted for about 30 min. but ended up jumping into bed and snuggling with me.
Florida Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Now that he's sober, he hasn't been hanging out with friends as much. I'm glad to hear it! Avoiding them (the friends) will probably be the hardest part in maintaining & staying sober. Well I have to admit, mine does too. This past weekend there was a pot luck brunch that one of his friends was throwing (happened to be a guy I went to HS with, one I never really liked all that much because he used to beg to copy my biology homework every damn day). I woke up feeling vomitous (due to pregnancy) and didn't want to go and he pouted for about 30 min. but ended up jumping into bed and snuggling with me. He sounds very understanding I guess what I was saying to the OP also was that just be sure that no hidden resentments start bubbling over it, and that you also don't feel put upon to attend each and every one.
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