troubledintn Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 hi i have been seeing a man for almost 15 months ... we have had ups and downs... he is leaving to go to korea in march and im sick over it.. i am truly honestly in love with him.. and would do anything for him...we i feel have come along way .. i he moved in with myself and my children back last year and we had some problems so he moved out...at the time we had a joint checking account...while he was living with me we had some problems talking about soime things i had done in my past... so he turned to his exwife that he left for me and started talking to her and confiding in her about our issues and then i found out she was moving back here and that they were supposed to get back together... at the time he had owed me some money so i took the money out of our joint account.. when he moved in with me i knew he couldnt help out becasue he had just gone thru a divorce... and that didnt matter. it never has .. i never wanted him for anything else but to be loved by him and to love him... i never cared what he had or didnt have... now he is leaving to go to korea in march and we have recently opened a joint account again to try and see if we can do this again... i approached him last week about us moving back in together again into a rental house before he left so , we could simply have a home together him, my children and our dogs .. he said yes we went and looked at a house... but now he has changed his mind. he took going to korea to keep from having to go to ft. hood for three years...and so he could pay off some bills...i have always been very aggresive business woman and had to sell my business in order for my divorce to go smoothly to be with hie it and buy him a harley m... now i work a fulltime job and am inquiring about other things to do to make extra money while he is gone.. my goal was to work really hard and pay off all our bills and save so that when he got home we could either take the money and put down on a house or take the money and buy him some things he has wanted or things he lost in his divorce so he could be with me .... i am not a slacker and i have always been a very hard worker and my intentions were honest and true about wanting to be with him and us be together and me paying off bills... but i cannot get him to believe me... he gave his exwife his power of attorney and she recently asked him for the list of his bills so she could help him while he is gone... i understand that he has got to have someone help him because he wont be able to take care of these things while he is away.... i love this man with all my heart and i have since the beginning... i need advice please.... i am torn up over this...i want to be with him befcore he leaves and be waiting on him when he gets home.. i wanted us to be a family again and have a home.. so he will know where home is when he gets back.. i am true to him and always have been .. i feel like he is my soulmate.. he loves me and gives me everything i have always wanted and needed.... any advice would be greatly appreciated please.. thanks troubledintn
ButtHead Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 I don't have suggestion for the relationship directly, but only financially that might help the relationship. If you two truly love each other, then you don't need a motorcycle or anything expensive or fancy. You need to concentrate on paying for your children first. The bills are second and luxuries are third. If you treat your children well, they will become successful and pay back. I know because thats what my goal has always been for my parents. By paying the bills on time and soon, you ensure that you don't pay any unnecessary interest and also you don't drop any credit scores. After these two things are settled, can you think about buying expensive things. The two of you need to realize this. The best things in life are free. I'm sure you would rather have time with him than a gift from him. Good luck with your lover and your children.
Author troubledintn Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 we opened another joint account to try and start fresh again with us ... when he lived with me he was just going his divorce and had no way to help me and i was fine with that. i dont care if all we have is enough money to pay our bills and have a nest egg so we can be comfortable... i never really needed anything from him other than love... but the point that i took the money out of our account back last year is the issue for him. we went and looked at a rental house together friday night and now he has changed his mind .. so today i went and i am getting it on my own. i really wanted him to be moved in with my children and i before he left to go to korea but he doesnt want that... what do i do i have been with this man for almost 15 months and i am sick over this . i have all the faith in the world in us and that we belong together but he doesnt have the faith in me that he should.......
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