micahmo77 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Dont the dumpers get that, I wonder what hes doing. Or maybe, did I make the right decision to let all our time invested, good times and memories just go to waste type of feeling or thoughts. Do they even understand or care all the pain and agony their putting us through. If they knew would it make them change their mind or give things a second thought. I keep asking myself this over and over, running through every possible scenerio if I did things different, is she sorry for messing with another guy behind my back. Or if I show up and give her this amazing gift and a letter spilling my heart out. Or maybe having one of my relatives call to talk to her, would it change her mind or just push her further away . I know im searching for any type of fix just to get another chance. This breakup game is so rediculous, we have to convince ourself to play hard to get and NC, just to have another possible chance at a phone call or a text message saying hi how are you or I miss us. I dont understand, how can someone who loved you so much at one time and for so long doing everything together just fall off the face of the earth, meet someone else and pretend like we dont exist. How is moving on for them so easy and for us so difficult. This is day 5 for me and from the posts I have read some of you are pulling two and three months still hoping and praying for that phone call. I am so stinking miserable, she has destroyed my heart and all I can do is look at pictures of our good times. Wake up every morning at random hours, heart in my throat and pounding all crazy just wanting to call her. I try to hate her and be angry, but the truth is I dont and I cant. Well goodluck to all of you in the NC land, hopefully it worked out for someone. From what I keep hearing giving them space and time is the best way to go. Anyone out there with a positive story would be happy to hear about it.
norajane Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 I dont understand, how can someone who loved you so much at one time and for so long doing everything together just fall off the face of the earth, meet someone else and pretend like we dont exist. How is moving on for them so easy and for us so difficult You have to start with the understanding that when someone breaks up with you, they've been thinking about it for a while and has begun detaching from you long before you knew about it - even if it seemed to you that nothing had changed during that time. So when they finally do break up with you, they have already left you in their mind long before, they're much further along than you are. Do they even understand or care all the pain and agony their putting us through. If they knew would it make them change their mind or give things a second thought. While they might care that you are hurt, they have already moved on. And frankly, do you really want someone to come back to you because they feel SORRY for you? How is that fun and sexy? How does that make you feel desired? It should make you feel pathetic if they come back because you are such a sad case they feel sorry for you. I keep asking myself this over and over, running through every possible scenerio if I did things different, is she sorry for messing with another guy behind my back. In a situation where they were cheating on you and then left, they were sooooo long gone way before you found out about the cheating. Is she sorry for messing around behind your back? Maybe she's sorry you found out and are hurt. But, again, that's not a good reason for coming back to you, and if she's still with that guy, she's not coming back, certainly not because she pities you for being hurt. Or if I show up and give her this amazing gift and a letter spilling my heart out. Or maybe having one of my relatives call to talk to her, would it change her mind or just push her further away . No, that's a bad, bad move. It will just make you seem pathetic. You KNOW she was cheating on you, yet you still desperately want her. What does that tell her? That tells her you are a doormat she can walk all over, and that makes you a wimp in her eyes, not a sexy, attractive person. I know im searching for any type of fix just to get another chance. This breakup game is so rediculous, we have to convince ourself to play hard to get and NC, just to have another possible chance at a phone call or a text message saying hi how are you or I miss us. NC is not a game to get her back. It's an opportunity for you to heal without any new contact and new hurts. You're not in the place right now where you have accepted that it is over, where you are angry for how you were screwed over by her, nor where you think getting her cheating ass out of your life is the best thing. But, you will be. Just give it time. And you won't want that stupid text saying hi - you will be disgusted by it because you'll realize that text is just a way for her to yank the leash to see if you're still tethered to other end.
Audg1964 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Hang in there. I know it's hard and it's painful, but in the long run, the pain subsides. Right now, spoil yourself. Do you like football? The Superbowl is on all day long! Enjoy it! Tomorrow, buy yourself some ice cream - some clothes - a special gift to mark your new beginning. Do stuff now for yourself and it will feel good.
Belkin Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Thanks for the hard truth, Norajane. It's incredibly hard to accept that they don't care anymore about you, and when you start to understand that you feel a terrible surge of anger against her and the one she cheated you with. Anger is so much easier to deal with than grief! Focus on the next girl (even if you don't know who it will be yet...) and enjoy your newly acquired liberty as much as possible while it lasts! Hey, you can spend twice as much money for yourself now!
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