JD88 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 (edited) I was with my first love for about 2 years when it all came crashing down. She wanted to take a break and I soon found out that she'd actually been seeing an ex of hers before we even took the break. I yelled at her about it which she denied and we both ended up "hating" each other for what she claims what happened and I did to her and for what I claimed what happened and waht she did to me. It's been 5 years since then and we haven't spoken in all that time. The first year was really hard for me but since then I've moved on, gotten over it and not thought at all about the situation or her and I'm now with an amazing girl that I really love. But a few days ago, I saw a recent picture of my first love online and I don't understand what I'm feeling. I don't understand if it's that I want to see her again and that I do still have feelings or if it's just a reminder of the past that I haven't thought about all these years but nothing beyond that. I am sure these feeling will pass within a few days but I'm just wondering if anyone else knows this feeling and what it is exactly? Has anyone had that happened and what you did about it? Thanks Edited February 3, 2008 by JD88
JustinWolf Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 I think you're just remembering the memories of being with her. The places you went etc. It's a feeling that will pass, of course. If it doesn't I suggest you try to get in contact, perhaps since it's been 5 whole years! And you know the saying, you never forget your first love. I know this man who is about 45 and he can still talk about his first love like he met her yesterday! His description of things they did... everything. He remembers everything but can't even remember what he did last week.
cant let go Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 my take on the feeling is that this was a very significant influence in your life from your past. i don't think it means that you aren't over her and i don't think it means that you should get a hold of her in any way. that would likely only confuse you and if you are very happy in your current relationship, you are best leaving the past in the past. i think this is something that is common after long periods of NC. I know that i get these same feelings when i see profiles of old high-school boyfriends online. i don't miss them but i get a tinge of nostalgia and wonder if my life affected them in some significant way. i find that the old flames that i have managed to remain "friends" with, and by that i mean just a check in email from time to time or those that i have run into around mutual contacts, these don't bring up this feeling because there is no mystery about them. i have an idea of where they've been for the last few years and i know that if i ever saw them, it wouldn't be an awkward meeting. i think another factor in the feeling that comes up after time is how much pain you felt when things ended. if you carried a lot of anger around towards this person, you may feel some need to "make things right" now that you have let those feelings go. my advice would be, just don't look this girl up and don't stalk her online, treasure what you have and let sleepers lie.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 I am having major problems in my marriage (for the past few years). In August, it was really bad and I called my ex-boyfriends' mother. She gave me my ex's phone number and I call him about once a month or so. I haven't dated him in 21 years and haven't seen him in about 10. He's a great guy and I know that we both had a loving relationship. We were too young when it all happened. I love my ex-bf and he will always be in my life. So, no, your feelings are what they are. If you want to contact her, then do so.
strife Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 i don't miss them but i get a tinge of nostalgia and wonder if my life affected them in some significant way. i find that the old flames that i have managed to remain "friends" with, and by that i mean just a check in email from time to time or those that i have run into around mutual contacts, these don't bring up this feeling because there is no mystery about them. I agree that the mystery is bringing with it curiosity. The feeling will go away. Since you are in love with someone else now, I would not bother.
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