micahmo77 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 So its day 4 for me of NC, still feel awful, crushed and missing my ex love. I cant stop thinking about her, what is she doing, does she think about me, does her new guy keep her brain occupied to where im just a lost page in her book. This sucks, cant sleep or eat, just crying all pathetic, when does it stop! Now here it is almost the most dreaded day of the year, at least for me. Valentines day! I think its a day to make us newly single people feel even more depressed. Does anyone else just want to send off alittle note or card just to say we miss them or a Happy Valentines Day and that they are still loved.
Nemo Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Send the biggest bunch of flowers that you can afford. Write on the note that you are sorry, and that you have made the biggest mistake of your life. Oh, and chocolates - don't forget the chocolates.
Saxis Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 So its day 4 for me of NC, still feel awful, crushed and missing my ex love. I cant stop thinking about her, what is she doing, does she think about me, does her new guy keep her brain occupied to where im just a lost page in her book. This sucks, cant sleep or eat, just crying all pathetic, when does it stop! Now here it is almost the most dreaded day of the year, at least for me. Valentines day! I think its a day to make us newly single people feel even more depressed. Does anyone else just want to send off alittle note or card just to say we miss them or a Happy Valentines Day and that they are still loved. A new guy? Forget it! With the money you'll save on all the flower and candy BS, go out with some single buddies, have a few drinks and enjoy your freedom! Do things that make YOU happy. Don't waste any more of your time and energy on her. It does end, but you have to be proactive in ending it!
Nemo Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 A new guy? Forget it! On second thoughts, I agree with Saxis. Don't have any contact with her, and she will come crawling back in about six months. Doing something now will only piss her off, and delay her return.
prisonbreak Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Forget Valentine's Day, it's just another day. Who made up this stupid day anyway?
strife Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 I want to send something too, but what's the point? The ball is already in the other person's court. She already knows you love her and want to be with her. In retrospect, I would probably feel embarrassed for being so weak to even send a card or e-mail. Just ignore that day and wait until her birthday if you need to show you care.
eagle5 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Yep we should all post on here on V day, to say how well we are doing and how much are ex's are loosers. I hope my ex has a sh*t day and feels really terrible. Ok that's just anger and I know it's best not to go down that route but there you go!!! I'm beginning to believe in Karma and on a good note that means she'll get dropped from a great height sometime in the future......oops anger again. Like prisonbreak said it's just another day, and who knows next year could be the best one ever, hey couldn't be any worse..... love you all........Eagle
sedgwick Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 (edited) NC! She's with someone else! Contacting her on Valentine's Day will just remind her that you're still in love with her. Last year with my ex, the holiday was amazing. One of the best nights of my life. This year I'm going away with my best friend to shoot Super 8 film in an abandoned mental hospital and then we're going to stay in a cool hotel. I think the best method of action this year is to do something completely anti-bf with someone else I love a lot. Edited February 3, 2008 by sedgwick
SadShamrock Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Definitely NC! Especially if she is with someone else. Take Sedgwick's advice! I think I will!!
prisonbreak Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Good advice, I decided I'm going to spend the evening doing something special with my 2 boys. Maybe a movie and dinner. They are the 2 best little men in my life and they are all I need.
bigmanpayne Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 So its day 4 for me of NC, still feel awful, crushed and missing my ex love. I cant stop thinking about her, what is she doing, does she think about me, does her new guy keep her brain occupied to where im just a lost page in her book. This sucks, cant sleep or eat, just crying all pathetic, when does it stop! Now here it is almost the most dreaded day of the year, at least for me. Valentines day! I think its a day to make us newly single people feel even more depressed. Does anyone else just want to send off a little note or card just to say we miss them or a Happy Valentines Day and that they are still loved. i know exactly how you feel. i had planned a very elaborate V-day gift for my wife but now i am just not going to do anything. i often have the same thoughts does she think of me, is she totally focused on him, etc. i dont have any answers, just letting you know that you are not alone. i am not going to send anything. even a note card or something will just make things worse. NC is probably the best way to go, but i am not one who should be giving advice, if put in certain situations i am not even sure how i will act. i am dreading 2/14/08, it will probably be one of the worst days of my life until i get over this, then i am hoping to look back at this and laugh someday.
bigmanpayne Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 On second thoughts, I agree with Saxis. Don't have any contact with her, and she will come crawling back in about six months. Doing something now will only piss her off, and delay her return. are you sure she will come back. i always wonder about that. like i have said before, the new relationship she is in could be the one true love that she has been waiting for. i often think to myself "after her relationship with this guy crumbles, she will be back" but what if it doesn't? i mean, just out of spite i would want my wife's relationship to fall apart whether it takes a week, 6 months, or 6 years. it would absolutely make me feel better. i know it is wrong to think and feel like that, but i cant help it. i dont have any data on how often relationships work out with the person you have cheated with. do they usually stay together, or after the person gets a divorce, is the excitement over for those 2 and they're relationship break down? i hate to get off topic, but i would really love to know about this. i mean in my personal situation it seems as though my wife is winning at every turn. she is in a relationship, i am not, she is happy, i am not, she is loved by him and me and i feel unloved by her at all. will she continue to win and get everything she wants while i and my kids suffer? i understand micahomo's feelings about v-day, and how he feels about his ex. it is just a tough situation. valentines day at a time like this just sucks.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Dont send her nothing, dont contact her.If you were tto send something she would go from not wanting to be with you to strictly annoyed and disgusted at you. Valentines day is just another day, no big deal!
Audg1964 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Good advice, I decided I'm going to spend the evening doing something special with my 2 boys. Maybe a movie and dinner. They are the 2 best little men in my life and they are all I need. Exactly right! That's exactly what you should do! I always called my daughter "my little Valentine." Kids love Valentine's Day - so make it special for them. Make some lobsters for them, buy them presents and rent a really good movie! You and they will be so glad that you did!
Jackieboy Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Stick with no contact whatever you do. If you send her flowers you will just gain her contempt and she will not come running back. She is with someone else, walk away with your head held high and your dignity in tact and save your hard earned money for someone who cares for you - you will meet that person oh yes!
s_n_d Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 I cant say i DIDNT think about sending him an email atleast but I know I cant. Its just going to set me back. Im going to continue on with NC and you should too. Our exs should be contacting US. Stay strong. I hope I can make it through Valentines day too.
dfreeman Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 There is absolutely no f'n way I am sending anything to my ex on Valentine's Day!!! We will be on day 11 of NC (unless I get some e-mail regarding the sell of our house) and I ain't breaking it that day. I never lost my dignity by begging to stay together, but I tried to be the bigger person on the way out and owned up to all the bad things I did to her (in my heart, I feel a lot of them were reactionary) and searched for some way for us to get help through our problems. Nobody trying to adhere to NC should pass on the chance to make the biggest impression they can by NOT contacting their ex. This day is the friggin Super Bowl of NC - don't turn it into the biggest display of sad and pathetic sappy gestures. I don't really like strip clubs, but I am going to the hottest one in town on the 14th BECAUSE my ex hates them! I'm gonna spend the 200 bucks normally flyin her way on table/couch dances and then go home! My ringer will be off and I will NOT return any calls from her that day - Valentines Day is the last day of the year to talk, IM or even e-mail with your ex [in my humble, but a little pissed-off opinion].
Haohmaru Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 Valentine's Day was created by the employees of a CORPORATE ENTITY -- freaking Hallmark, so.... I'm an EMPLOYEE of a CORPORATE ENTITY, so I'm making every other day that week Singles Day!! Huzzah! Rules of Singles Day: 1. Instead of sending flowers, you send drunken flirty glances. 2. Instead of a card saying "I love you," make a prank phone call. 2. Just like anyone who forgets a special gift on V-Day, anyone who forgets to get laid on Singles Day goes str8 to the doghouse. 3. We don't celebrate love of others, but love of ourselves, and the freedom to grow. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!!
dfreeman Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 Great post, but I am going to go with full-on unadulterated INDIFFERENCE on Valentine's Day.
Roller EastCoaster Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 I dont know guys, but for me Vday is so fake and artificia its not really gonna affect me. Im definitely goin out and talk to some fine ladies. By the way, I think DFreeman is on to somethin. Go interact with other women its very necessary and really gets your mojo back up to significant levels. But be careful to an extent, just go with the intention of having fun. Dont sweat the ladies too much though, they will pick up on your fun-seeking energy if you can let go. My problem is I can really enjoy myself when Im out and interact with women no prob. Its just when Im chillin and alone or vulnerable to something that sets off all the thoughts that come flooding in. But all in all Vday is trully another day, that will be gone before you know it, if you allow it.
dfreeman Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 Its just when Im chillin and alone or vulnerable to something that sets off all the thoughts that come flooding in. But all in all Vday is trully another day, that will be gone before you know it, if you allow it. Yeah, but a LOT of people on LS that are struggling with NC will be chillin and alone on a night when every gawddamn tv and radio ad is telling them they should be delivering flowers to that "Special Someone". It is also a night where the target of their unwanted attention is sitting around dreading even so much as a card or e-mail from them (rightfully so - it will make them feel guilty). No other day of the year (not even their birthday because they may expect or even welcome a simple courtessy contact) gives you a chance to let them know that they don't define you anymore. Also, there is never going to be a bigger mountain to climb than that first Valentine's Day apart, where you can sincerely be true to yourself as your own person. If you must, have a friend tie you up and take away your phone, cell, blackberry and computer - Don't be a Valentine's Day Sap, PLEASE!
Meaplus3 Posted February 7, 2008 Posted February 7, 2008 So its day 4 for me of NC, still feel awful, crushed and missing my ex love. I cant stop thinking about her, what is she doing, does she think about me, does her new guy keep her brain occupied to where im just a lost page in her book. This sucks, cant sleep or eat, just crying all pathetic, when does it stop! Now here it is almost the most dreaded day of the year, at least for me. Valentines day! I think its a day to make us newly single people feel even more depressed. Does anyone else just want to send off alittle note or card just to say we miss them or a Happy Valentines Day and that they are still loved. If your in NC than stay in NC.. sticking to it is the only way to get past this. Valentine's day is really just another ordinary day, at least that's the way I see it. I know you are hurting and I feel for you. Thing's might seem tough now, but they will get better. Hang in there. AP:)
dfreeman Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 Now here it is almost the most dreaded day of the year, at least for me. Valentines day! I think its a day to make us newly single people feel even more depressed. Does anyone else just want to send off alittle note or card just to say we miss them or a Happy Valentines Day and that they are still loved. I also just became single and only recently stopped contact with my ex, but I think Valentine's Day is only special for women that are in love. I started off by thinking that a little card would be so much smaller than my usual gifts of flowers or jewelry (thus making it more benign I guess?), but why remind her that, "If you and him were still in love, this stupid little card would probably have been a dozen roses and some diamond earrings"? Giving her something really nice means that you REALLY are clueless and pathetic and giving her a small token just means that you are grasping at straws. Give her what she really wants on Valentine's Day - No damn reason to think of you!
Jackieboy Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 With you all the way Dfreeman. Ignore your ex, show them you don't care. Rubbish day anyway just designed so florists and card sellers can make loads of money. In the UK they can charge between £10 to £30 for ONE single red rose, I imagine its the same for you guys in the US. Who the hell needs that? Now if it was for someone I care about....... But for someone who has done the dirty on me, oh PLEASE! Like your idea re spending the way as well Dfreeman, might just do the same....
dfreeman Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 LOL - I like that! How many great opportunities after a breakup do you get to send a clear message that you "Get it" and it's over? And trust me, if you are one of those people secretly thinking that you don't want it to be over, you still want your ex to get the message that you think it is on this day!
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