Isnt there someone who actually got that phonecall saying, I messed up lets make this

[topend22]

Isnt there someone who actually got that phonecall saying, I messed up lets make this work. I would like to hear anybodys NC storys that turned out for the better. Meaning they got back together.

[Kamille]

Why do I feel like I caught you?

 

Right now, you likely feel that the better outcome is that she will call you and say she wants to make this work. One day though, you will realize that moving on with your life and healing is just as wonderful an outcome (if not more). I think it's important that you keep this in mind.

[underpants]

I know...busted.

 

You have to give it longer then a few minutes to get a reaction.

 

Seriously, you will have hard days and not so hard days. She will probably contact you (actually I would bet on it). However, the first attempts will probably be lame and they should be ignored.

 

Go mark your calendar and give yourself a goal of 1 month...no contact at all, given or responded to.

 

I do find it odd that she was all about you when you were married and now not so much. That does trouble me.

[topend22]

LOL, busted, but i want her back.......

[Kamille]

Ok, let me ask you this. How would you describe the quality of your life right now? Are you happy? Balanced? Healthy? See, those are the things you should be striving to get back, not her. Right now she is contributing to keeping you unbalanced. That's why you need NC. You are the only person who can make your life balanced again.

 

I think most people want their exes back because, in their mind, getting the ex back is the fastest shortcut to a happiness they once knew. Except you have changed, she has changes, and somethings have been broken between the two of you. You will come to realize that you are the only person capable of providing for your own happiness.

[oppath]

I'd agree with Underpants. Don't even reply. It can only lead to drama. I do believe, if you are talking, you assert your request once, but afterwards, you disappear, and if you are in a place to get back in touch, you can always acknowledge "sorry I ignored you, I really needed to step away."

 

You are already looking at this wrong. This is for you to heal. I agree with others, if you are unbalanced in your life, you need to balance your life. I was happy with my ex. Extraordinarily happy. Of course I miss that. But a lot of that happiness was from other areas of my life such as a vibrant social life that I've since had absent. Before I get involved with any woman, I want that part of my life back and I am working at it.

 

It's rare for an ex to ask for you back. Of the dozen or so women I've dated-dated, it's only happened once and the same problems were there right away. Even if they ask for you back, it is not likely to work. So maybe 5% or relationships, if they end and they come back, will it work, considering maybe only 10% of relationships (defined loosely) endure a significant amount of time.

 

Just because that relationship ended does not mean it was not a success. It just ran it's course, and when you fully close one relationship, that is when another can enter your life.

[sedgwick]

Hey there...no need to post the same thing in another thread. That said, yes I have received that call. We broke up again soon afterwards.

[sandflea]

My ex contacted me about trying to work things out about one month after I finalized our divorce. Needless to say, I didn't bite.

 

Of course, it would be wonderful if all of us on this board had a fairtale ending. Fact is, if somebody is bold enough to punt, they've usually had plenty of time to think it over.

[Jackieboy]

Sandflea I agree with you. If a woman has done it I think its rare they change their minds, its certainly never happened to me, I wonder what your ex-wife wanted? Men? Well we are wired differently and I personally have chased a woman who I had previously finished with. For what its worth I believe if they have gone let them go and don't live in false hope.