Florida Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 Fray, what is the status with his calling you? I remember a post from 2 weeks back that you were upset about that. Has it changed? Does he call more frequently? See, you are going to look really irrational if you don't bring this up in regards to why you broke up with him before. It's not just purely impulsive feelings , you were bothered by specific behaviors that hopefully he changed since then?
StartingOver07 Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 (edited) Fray, what is the status with his calling you? I remember a post from 2 weeks back that you were upset about that. Has it changed? Does he call more frequently? See, you are going to look really irrational if you don't bring this up in regards to why you broke up with him before. It's not just purely impulsive feelings , you were bothered by specific behaviors that hopefully he changed since then? I remember that thread well, and I included it in the list of threads Fray has started about this guy in the last 2 months. Here it is again. I got back with my bf AGAIN! And I used the L word How do you deal with being the dumper? I'm so disappointed in my bf =( I broke up with him and we got back together...is it doomed? I totally messed up!!! Ugh! How often does your bf call you? Really embarrased about well...stretch marks! Love vs IN love Seeing him tonight, not sure That dreaded sinking feeling Sex and dating URGENT: Not sure how to go about this mistake What's irrational to me is that Fray can have so many complaints about this guy, repeatedly break up with him, and now claim to love him. Edited February 5, 2008 by StartingOver07
Author fray718 Posted February 6, 2008 Author Posted February 6, 2008 Fray, what is the status with his calling you? I remember a post from 2 weeks back that you were upset about that. Has it changed? Does he call more frequently? See, you are going to look really irrational if you don't bring this up in regards to why you broke up with him before. It's not just purely impulsive feelings , you were bothered by specific behaviors that hopefully he changed since then? Yes now he calls/texts me more often just to say hi or something. And I agree with your last sentence -- I've always had these crazy thoughts to break up since the first day I met him, but we were ok for 2 months until just 2 weeks ago when this whole non-calling mixed in with the BC issue really kicked in. That being said, I handled those situations totally wrong. As of tonight (I saw him tonight) things are going ok so far...somehow the exchange of 'i love yous' seems to have changed things a bit for the better. As long as we both can believe that we'd just stick together no matter what, through thick and thin, as we said we would, then I think things will turn out fine. So far I have not yet had any crazy thoughts...prob cuz this time around he changed back his myspace r/s status back to 'in a relatinship' and I turned the pic of us I gave him back up (it was facing down before after I broke up with him the first time). He told me 'I noticed you fixed our picture' and I replied 'well I had to do it since you never got around to it' haha. The relationship is so so fragile right now because we have here me and my bf -- two pretty clueless and naive people -- yet that means we are also the type of people who can do ridiculous things for love. I've read all the posts...and in doing so I've been having this one thought in my mind and that is my bf has been hurt by me so many times that I'd rather be the one hurt than have him be hurt again. I love him. By thinking this way, it helps me get rid of alot of the anxiety I have...because in the past I'm always paranoid and telling myself to look for signs of a guy losing interest or not having enough interest so that I can leave him before he leaves me...but when I stop thinking this way, it has eased alot of my anxiety. And hopefully this means it will benefit BOTH of us.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 When we had breakfast, I told him that I can't leave him even if I wanted to. But didn't you already leave him...twice? Thrice? More? This realtionship sounds like the ones I had when I was sixteen. Good luck with that.
Walk Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 The relationship is so so fragile right now because we have here me and my bf -- two pretty clueless and naive people -- yet that means we are also the type of people who can do ridiculous things for love. I've read all the posts...and in doing so I've been having this one thought in my mind and that is my bf has been hurt by me so many times that I'd rather be the one hurt than have him be hurt again. I love him. By thinking this way, it helps me get rid of alot of the anxiety I have...because in the past I'm always paranoid and telling myself to look for signs of a guy losing interest or not having enough interest so that I can leave him before he leaves me...but when I stop thinking this way, it has eased alot of my anxiety. And hopefully this means it will benefit BOTH of us. That's great Fray. Enjoy the time you two have together. Whether its months, or decades. But I do want to stress that you read up on the differences between how men and women communicate. And talk to your bf about what actions/words he feels shows he loves you, and what he needs to feel loved, and tell him your point of view. I think you can side-step a lot of problems in the future by doing this.
blind_otter Posted February 6, 2008 Posted February 6, 2008 If I were you, I would make my quest for a therapist my primary objective.
Author fray718 Posted February 9, 2008 Author Posted February 9, 2008 (edited) That's great Fray. Enjoy the time you two have together. Whether its months, or decades. But I do want to stress that you read up on the differences between how men and women communicate. And talk to your bf about what actions/words he feels shows he loves you, and what he needs to feel loved, and tell him your point of view. I think you can side-step a lot of problems in the future by doing this. Thanks for the encouragement Walk. I went through this week without freaking out (and my anxiety level also subsided alot) and didn't break up with him. With v day coming up I'm a bit nervous, but just got to see how it goes. I already got him a gift and card. I hope I'd be able to give it to him by then. Edited February 9, 2008 by fray718
curiousnycgirl Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 Fray - Don't you notice that regardless of what you post, the answers always go back to you need therapy? Please if you hope to have a healthy, happy relationship you must get your self into some counseling.
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