Knights Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Ok so a bit of background. I knew this woman for around a year then we started seeing each other, things were good, then 60 hours ago bang out of no where it's over. We were both single for a long time before the relationship, she was for 2 years and i was for 4 years. But we clicked, it seemed right and i don't want her out of my life but i'm not sure how to go about getting her back. She sent some texts in the first 24 hours after she called it off that i have up in another post but i haven't talked to her for 30 hours now, i don't want to drive her away. I didn't rant and rave when she said it was over. I feel as if i made a mistake as right before she called it off she told me that she didn't know what she wanted and i said well you need to do whats right for you, i care about you but if your not happy i don't want you to think you need to stay with me just because i want you to. This was a regular theme in the relationship, as if she was testing me to see if i'd get angry, my roster at work is due to change so i'll get sundays off, when i told her this she said well i'm not stopping going out with my guy mates on saturday night, i said i didn't want her to stop going out, i said i wanted her to be herself and have fun. Maybe she wanted me to get angry or jealous? Was it a test to see if i cared? By not showing jealousy did i fail? She was scared when we first got together that she couldn't trust me, i let things go at her pace, no demands, no preasure. She was worried about that i couldn't deal with her past, i told her the past is the past and the things shes done don't change how i feel. I never asked her about it, but if she wanted to talk about it i'd listen. I want her in my life, i don't want to lose her but im not sure what to do. Do i keep resiting the urge to get in contact? Do i get in contact and tell her how i feel? I just don't know what to do.
kalena9488 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Most people never tell you what they really feel because everyone is so afraid of being rejected. So, I say tell her exactly how you feel about her, put it all on the line and see what happens. You may get rejected but you may not and if you don't this may be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
Author Knights Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 Well i don't think it matters anymore, after tonight she'll never speak to me again. I asked her after a few days of nc if she'd like to go listen to some live music tomorrow night, she said she'll think about and let me know, i said ok sweet. So we were talking nicely, no mention of feelings and then she says i'm drinking with an old friend from australia that i haven't seen in ages and i don't think i should talk to you while i'm drinking. I say why not? She says dont no, i say random drunken messages? She says yeah. So i said just say what you want it doesn't matter. This was happening back and forth for about a hour, then i just had enough, sent her a message saying if she can't be honest with me i'm not even going to bother talking to her anymore, have a good life, i get the message, see you later. The problems is now that while i'm telling her to be honest i haven't been, but when i found out she'd had a few i thought telling i still care about her may make her go weird on me. So thats that i guess, i don't think she'll be back, i reacted wrong but i'm not going to get in touch with her again, i need space now to sort myself out.
kalena9488 Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 If you think you need to call her and apologize for the way you acted then do it. Don't be afraid to apologize and then express to her your real feelings. ou may be surprised that she to appreciates some honesty. Good luck
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