Knights Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Ok this is my first post, not sure if this is the right spot but here goes. So i was seeing a wonderful woman for awhile, we recently broke up (last 48 hours) i have been wondering why, she has sent me a few texts with the following which i need some help understanding. Text 1. "I want to give it a bit and then try again if you want to, I just thought i could do it but couldn't" I replied. "Ok well you have to do what is right for you" Text 2. "I want to find someone who makes me happy for a long time" I replied. "And i didn't make you happy?" Text 3. "Its nothing to do with you, it's me. You made me happy but i cant do the relationship thing just yet" I replied. "You need to do whats right for you and not worry about what others want of you" Very similar to reply number 2. So what do these texts mean? I've been resiting the urge to get in contact with her, it's hard but if she wants space, there's nothing i can do about that so i'll leave her alone, not sure if this is the right thing to do but i don't want to scare her off, i want her to come back. Thanks.
BrianG Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 dont know how long your were together, how old you are, but seems to me your doing okay so far. Let her initiate any contact is my advice and just take it slow.
New_Life08 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 She cares about you, she's just feeling it's getting a little too serious for what she can handle right now. In the text, instead of the "Okay, do what you have to do for yourself" You could say. "I will give you whatever space you need" Then leave it alone until she contacts you. Hard I know But she will miss you if you back off respectfully and don't go psycho on her demanding explanations. Ugh! thats the worst! Hang in there, she'll come around
Author Knights Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 I'm in my mid 20's, we were together a few months and had known each other for about a year before we got together. I just don't understand the sudden change in heart, i never got jealous when she wanted to hang out or have a night on the town with her guy mates, i didn't demand that she always had to spend her free time with me. I'm starting to wonder if i was to casual in the relationship, she would always say things and my reply usally was was if it makes you happy then do it, maybe i didn't come across as caring enough, though i was single for 4 years after a shocking run of being a jerk to woman i was with. Maybe i've gone to far in the other direction and seemed more like a mate than a partner. The last few days at work i've been fealing physically ill wondering why she left, what she meant, will she come back, is there some one else etc etc. A girl mate of mine seems to think that her texts mean that she wants to go out have some fun with other guys and then just come back to me when she gets bored but i'm not so sure, it's driving me crazy.
fashiondiva11 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I'm going through similar situation right now. (you can see my post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t143221/) My boyfriend of 2 months and I just broke up last week. We didn't have a fight, everything seemed perfect, except he started to fall in love with me. Yes, that shouldnt be a reason to break up. He was the one that pushed for things to move pretty fast, I met his family and all friends, he offered me keys to his apartment and on several occasions stated he was falling in love with me. Just like you, I wasn't obsessive controlling girlfriend. I tried to give him his freedom and never demanded that he spent time with me or call me in the morning everyday or right after work. I insisted that I don't go with him everywhere as he needs alone time with his friends. Then suddenly he decided that he doesn't want to be in relationship and that he is afraid of commitment because he doesnt want to be hurt or hurt me more down the road. The more I think about it the more I think my easygoing attitude has caused him to doubt me and my feelings for him. We still talk and he does want me in his life but I'm still a little confused how can someone go from wanting commitment so much and rushing into it and even start to fall in love then decide that they want to break up. I will tell you what one of my friends told me. If you really want this girl and are willing to commit go after her. Have a conversation and tell her that despite what seemed like a "I don't care attitude" you like her and want her in your life. Tell her you are willing to respect her wishes but at the same time you want her to know how you really feel and let her make a decision. If you are unsure if you want her in your life just let it go. Good luck.
Author Knights Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 Thanks for the advice I'm not sure i should contact her, i don't want to come off as needy or desperate. Anyway it's sunday morning and i'm sitting here on this site just reading as im trying not to get it touch with her, it's 6:30am and i know she went out last night, she goes out every saturday night but i don't want to be the "ex" that asks questions about her night knowing full well the answers will hurt if they arn't what i want to here. I think in the end it'll be upto her, i want her in my life, i'm ready to commit but i don't want to drive her away or make her think i'm a pyscho. It may be ego aswell but i don't want her to know how much she's hurt me, maybe if she thinks i'm not sad/angry she'll be wondering why and that could lead to contact which could then lead to happiness again or she may just think i don't care and end up with someone else which isn't the right outcome. To many choices, none of which seem the right one, it's been 36 hours since i last spoke to her and i miss the the random stuff that makes a relationship good, the stupid stuff you laugh at together, the nights just spent talking, in general just hanging out together. Trying to keep myself occupied so i'll stay away from my phone, sorry if the is a rather long ramble but i need to occupied.
Audg1964 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Sounds totally confusing to me. I hate texting and emails and even the telephone. How can people break up and ask for a break for a "bit" by text message? That's messed up. You deserve to know and you can say that her texts are cryptic and you're confused - and that it would be best if you spoke in person. A lot gets misinterpreted over texting, emailing and telephone. So, if there was any real deep concern for your feelings, I think she would have been mature enough and more respectful to you and your feelings. Sounds like she doesn't care. Hate to say it. You, on the other hand, sound totally mature.
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