SYRACUSE03 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 To all that have read my posts...thanks. For those who do not know, here it is in sentence. I'm 36, she's 26, were together for 4.5 years, she left about 5 months ago. Been NC for 2.5 months with the exception of a text on Christmas from her and a text on New Year's from me. Anyway, just found out that she just started seeing someone. Stings more than I ever thought. I'm not looking for pity or a pat on the back, I guess I'm just venting. Didn't know what else to do. I was a good partner and I gave everything short of marriage and kids. I am content that I treated her right, never cheated and loved her the best way I knew how. Could I have done things better, sure...was I terrible, not at all. I have to let the resentment go and start moving forward a little faster. I wish her only the best and maybe one day she'll realize what she lost, not what I lost. Thanks to all LS'ers for all the kind words and support over the last few months. You guys are the best! Best of luck to all in your situations and you're all in my thoughts.
BrianG Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 (edited) Syracuse, I feel for you because eventually we have to deal with the fact that they will start seeing someone else, i know it sucks!!!!. Hate to be harsh but you knew it was bound to happen. I don't know how you found out, but you need to start focusing on yourself and not worrying or even caring what she is doing and put her in the past. I know its easier giving advice then taking it, trust me i know. Even though I love her more than anything the motto I have been taking towards my ex, and it has been working so far is "Ignorance is Bliss." Don't worry about or finding any info about her, have a deaf ear when it comes to anything about her, because you don't have a choice now. Hope this helps, right there with you man. Edited February 2, 2008 by BrianG
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 Thanks brother...I appreciate the comments. You are not harsh, it's reality. I found out by living in a small town and we have mutual friends so word travels fast. Anyway, you are 100% right, I knew it was bound to happen it's just more difficult than I thought. I really thought that she wanted time for herself, not no find another partner. I guess I just had horse blinders on. Another setback in the recovery process but I'll get back on track. I can't say that I don't think about her or want to know what she's doing. Trust me, if I could stop cold turkey, I would. Maybe it will only take a few more times slammming my head against the wall to realize that it hurts and it's not productive. Each day I'll chug forward and eventually snap out of it...just waiting for that day.
BrianG Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I guess I just had horse blinders on. Another setback in the recovery process but I'll get back on track. I can't say that I don't think about her or want to know what she's doing. Trust me, if I could stop cold turkey, I would. Maybe it will only take a few more times slammming my head against the wall to realize that it hurts and it's not productive. Each day I'll chug forward and eventually snap out of it...just waiting for that day. I know how you feel I can't say either that I dont think about her or want to know what she's doing. I would put the horse blinders back on and keeping trotting forward and not looking back or left or right, just forward. I am also waiting for the day that I will just snap out of it as well. Boy, I cannot wait for that day. Rest assured there will be bumps along the road, but as long as you keep going forward that "day" is bound to happen sooner or later. Besides what choice do we have?
Frankie24 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Sorry to hear about that hun I hope you move on and accept she has a new partner!! She may have been the one to split up but your the one who chose to move on
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted February 3, 2008 Author Posted February 3, 2008 Thanks guys for the support. BrianG...you're absolutely right, what choice do we have? I just wish I was futher along at this point. I know we all move at a different pace but I wish I was quicker. Frankie - thanks for the kind words. It doesn't matter whether I accept it or not that she has a new partner. We don't speak anymore and I have been NC for quite sometime. Like BrianG said, what choice do we have? The main thing that bothers me throughout this breakup is that she just decided to "forget" about me after having a generally solid, loving relationship and ending on mature, non-confrontational terms. I guess I really don't understand how relationships work and I need to make some serious changes for the future. I am tired of giving everybody else everything and always winding up with nothing. Someday, sometime, someone will appreciate what I do for them. Thanks for the response.
Frankie24 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Frankie - thanks for the kind words. It doesn't matter whether I accept it or not that she has a new partner. We don't speak anymore and I have been NC for quite sometime. Like BrianG said, what choice do we have? The main thing that bothers me throughout this breakup is that she just decided to "forget" about me after having a generally solid, loving relationship and ending on mature, non-confrontational terms. I guess I really don't understand how relationships work and I need to make some serious changes for the future. I am tired of giving everybody else everything and always winding up with nothing. Someday, sometime, someone will appreciate what I do for them. Thanks for the response. Well your being extremely brave!!! I wish I could just turn the clock back and things were back to normal with my ex, thing that hurts the most is he can still play happy families and were left feeling like crap I do hope the dark cloud lifts for you i really do x
Author SYRACUSE03 Posted February 3, 2008 Author Posted February 3, 2008 I think most of us wish we could turn back the clock and the stronger ones keep pushing forward. I'm sure that there are a ton of people worse off than me so it's time to focus on the positives, even if there are very few right now. I am not familiar with your situation but I wish you the best of luck during your tough times as well.
Recommended Posts