White Flower Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Is there a chance there is truth in that things are going on that are unrelated to you? Currently my MM is going through quite a lot. During the days when I was dreaming of a future with him his distracted behavior would have had me in the lows of the roller coaster. But now that I don't focus on that, I'm just fine. In fact, I marvel at how much time he does make for me even though he's so darn busy. If you step back a bit, breath and focus on what you ARE getting, you might see things differently. Maybe he's going through something that he's not sure he knows how to share with you at this point. If you're too needy he'll just push you away. If you're understanding he'll appreciate it. Knowing what your needs are in the midst of those extremes is the key.
Author SunFish Posted February 3, 2008 Author Posted February 3, 2008 He just broke it off with me over AIM. I'm sorry if i can't elaborate more. I'm feeling a bit numb right now.
OWoman Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 He just broke it off with me over AIM. I'm sorry if i can't elaborate more. I'm feeling a bit numb right now. Over AIM? He didn't even have the decency to tell you face to face? (hugs) SF!
child_of_isis Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 That POS! Oh yeah...he is done. He was either getting close to getting caught or getting tired of you (as Liz said). They try to wiggle out of the whole thing after the thrill is gone.... just like nothing ever happened. They don't care who they hurt as long as their butt is covered. I am truly sorry for your pain.He just broke it off with me over AIM. I'm sorry if i can't elaborate more. I'm feeling a bit numb right now.
Author SunFish Posted February 5, 2008 Author Posted February 5, 2008 Thanks again for the support. The last couple of days have been, well, to put it simply, tough. At first I kept running down the list of reasons why he would want to break it off, but in the end I realized that it doesn't matter. You can't launch a one man war to keep a relationship going no matter how much you love the other person. Coming to that realization doesn't mean that I've been able to completely wean myself from playing the "why" game, but at least I'm not consumed by it. He's IMed me everyday now to "check on me" and on top of it, he wants to see me tonight to "explain". Part of me wants to tell him to f*ck off. The problem is that if I do that then it means that I give into the anger and I absolutely refuse to let that happen. Anyhow, a big hug to everyone who's going through a tough time. We will make it through this.
Tame Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 Thanks again for the support. The last couple of days have been, well, to put it simply, tough. At first I kept running down the list of reasons why he would want to break it off, but in the end I realized that it doesn't matter. You can't launch a one man war to keep a relationship going no matter how much you love the other person. Coming to that realization doesn't mean that I've been able to completely wean myself from playing the "why" game, but at least I'm not consumed by it. He's IMed me everyday now to "check on me" and on top of it, he wants to see me tonight to "explain". Part of me wants to tell him to f*ck off. The problem is that if I do that then it means that I give into the anger and I absolutely refuse to let that happen. Anyhow, a big hug to everyone who's going through a tough time. We will make it through this. I am beginning to hate MM! LOL! I know that's a bit extreme but I swear I keep reading the same story over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and again and again and again and again. ALL of the stories are the same. The MM hurts and disappoints the OW and leaves her at home wondering what she did wrong...only to return to the woman's life at some point in time either through text or meeting to 'explain' what happened. At that time the OW is so happy to see him and so in love she completely ignores everything he says and convinces herself that she was extra cute when they met and he will never let her go and she proceeds to sacrifice her entire life, body, heart, mind and soul in an attempt to convince this man that he made a mistake. What proceeds will be a rollercoaster of bull**** until finally the women is completely devoid of emotion, character and purpose all the while the MM will continue to house, feed, and financially support his emotionally stable wife while the OW seeks therapy or just convinces herself that she's happy sleeping with someone else's man and that'll just have to be good enough. Honey, I hope you write a different story the next time you post now that you know based on the thousands of stories told before yours where you will end up. I'm rooting for you.
9Lives Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 The only way you can move on quicker is if you end the A yourself and take some power back! Right now, I am guessing a text or call from him pretty much makes or breaks your day, and thats really wrong - what a rollercoaster...plus, in the end, what can he give you anyway...he already has a W and family. I know its easier said than done, but if you let this guy go then, a) you get off the rollercoaster b) you take your power back, i.e. you dont rely on him for 100% of your happiness c) you get rid of that feeling of being sad all the time d) you get to date cute SG's who DON't have all this baggage and can treat you the way you should be treated!!! e) you wont be a part of helping him cheat on his W f) if he suddenly loses you it'll be a wake up call to him about how he feels about you - right now you're an 'option' and he doesnt have to work hard as you will always be there to take what little crumbs he gives you.... g) no more feeling jealous when he is with his W and wondering what they are doing So what are the benefits of staying? Oh yea...temporary fix of happiness followed by misery until the next time you hear from him...great! this i a great post. i'm hurting right now and i needed to hear that. i have been with him for 3 years and he just cant handle it anymore. on minute he is leaving..the next minute it is too hard or something. i just feel alot of anger and pain. i didnt know he still was wanting his wife...im stupid. i thoght he wanted to leave for real. i know moving on is the right thing to do..it is just hard. i have thought about blocking his email but i dont know why i havent. im trying to heal
GreenEyedLady Posted February 9, 2008 Posted February 9, 2008 i know moving on is the right thing to do..it is just hard. i have thought about blocking his email but i dont know why i havent. im trying to heal Block his email...You don't need to see him trying to contact you in any way... You will heal with time...It hurts, because you loved him and he was a part of your life... (((HUGS)))
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