SunFish Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I am so hurt right now. So angry and sad. My heart is breaking and I can't stop it. I've loved this man fiercely for the last year and I know deep down inside something has changed over the last 3 months. The "I am in love with you"'s and "You are the love of my life"'s turned into simple half hearted "I love you"'s. And now I rarely hear even that. He used to leave his AIM on and would look forward to reading IMs from me and now he barely logs on or checks to see if I've sent them. And when confronted he tells me nothing has changed but then asks me for time and space to manage things that are "unrelated to me". I don't even get the courtesy of hearing this in person or on the phone but rather via a text message. I can't stop the hot tears from spilling from my eyes and running down my cheeks. I find myself holding my breathe because for whatever reason it helps ease the pain in my heart for a few seconds. But the pain always returns, each wave more intense than the last. I can't help but ask what i did wrong? What did i say or do for him to stop loving me the way he used to. My heart is torn between wishing I'd never met him and wishing that things were the way they used to be. When I'm with him it's the highest high I've ever experienced and now my heart feels like there's no way it could break into any more pieces. No matter how wrong it is, I am still very much in love with this man and would give it all up to be with him or even to hear his voice or to feel his arms around me at this moment. I know I'm in the wrong for even being in this relationship, but my heart...my heart, it just won't let me be. I know there are many of us out there. If by chance any one of you comes across this posting, please know that if i knew of a switch, or magic potion, or some voodoo magic to take away this intense blinding pain away I wouldn't hesistate to send it right on over, because, frankly ,I am struggling to believe that I'm going to make it through this or that anyone ever comes out on the other side of things like this in one piece.
OWoman Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I am so hurt right now. So angry and sad. My heart is breaking and I can't stop it. I've loved this man fiercely for the last year and I know deep down inside something has changed over the last 3 months. The "I am in love with you"'s and "You are the love of my life"'s turned into simple half hearted "I love you"'s. And now I rarely hear even that. He used to leave his AIM on and would look forward to reading IMs from me and now he barely logs on or checks to see if I've sent them. And when confronted he tells me nothing has changed but then asks me for time and space to manage things that are "unrelated to me". I don't even get the courtesy of hearing this in person or on the phone but rather via a text message. I can't stop the hot tears from spilling from my eyes and running down my cheeks. I find myself holding my breathe because for whatever reason it helps ease the pain in my heart for a few seconds. But the pain always returns, each wave more intense than the last. I can't help but ask what i did wrong? What did i say or do for him to stop loving me the way he used to. My heart is torn between wishing I'd never met him and wishing that things were the way they used to be. When I'm with him it's the highest high I've ever experienced and now my heart feels like there's no way it could break into any more pieces. No matter how wrong it is, I am still very much in love with this man and would give it all up to be with him or even to hear his voice or to feel his arms around me at this moment. I know I'm in the wrong for even being in this relationship, but my heart...my heart, it just won't let me be. I know there are many of us out there. If by chance any one of you comes across this posting, please know that if i knew of a switch, or magic potion, or some voodoo magic to take away this intense blinding pain away I wouldn't hesistate to send it right on over, because, frankly ,I am struggling to believe that I'm going to make it through this or that anyone ever comes out on the other side of things like this in one piece. SF maybe he's right, and the issues really have nothing to do with you? Maybe he's dealing with stressful matters on the work, family or financial front and that's made him less available? Or maybe it is to do with the A - maybe after a year it's run its course, or maybe he's moved into a new phase with it where the passion is less intense but it's more of a deeper, sustainable thing? Without more evidence one way or another it's impossible to tell. But one thing is for sure, in any R things do change over time. No one can sustain the intense obsession of the early days - we all need to eat, sleep, work and interact with others if we're to survive, and can't simply devote 24X7 to sitting at our computers or cellphones to communicate with the loved one. That HAS to change, to cool down and integrate into "normal" life in a sustainable way. Expecting things to remain as they were on that front is just going to lead to disappointment, because they can't. Take a deep breath and sit back and try for some perspective - what do the other signs say? Is he still showing care for you in what he says and does when you DO get to have access to him, or is he withdrawing? How have you changed towards him - is his behaviour perhaps responding to changes in yours in some way? Are his "I love yous" spontaneous or reactive? You'll only get a sense of where you really stand if you look at the full picture. Availability to IM could be contingent on many things, and reading the worst into it is not necessarily accurate and could become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
IWALH Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Oh gosh. I hate men. I hate men. I hate men. I hate men. Sorry I can't be of any help. I am too jaded now. I apologize.
LakesideDream Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Sunfish, I'm feeling sad for you, I have been in your exact spot. Unfortunetly it took a couple of years to stop saying "I'm so sad" outloud each morning during my shower. Now I'm about to move across the country and spend a hundred grand to risk doing it all over again. Reminds me of a 70's song.. "The Things We Do For Love".
nextel Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Pain never lasts forever. Take the pain, and learn from it. In due time, it will go away. In the meantime, surround yourself with positive interesting things. Treat yourself, pamper yourself. Go see a movie by yourself, go sit at the applebees bar and eat something while watching whatever they have on T.V. Go window shopping, go get your nails done, Go to the museum, do something with yourself. When you start doing things by yourself, you will be making some headway.....Then pick up a pen and paper and write down all the things you want to accomplish in your life, and start working on those things. When you stop calling him, he will contact you. Be prepared. If I were you, I would remember how I was treated and I would not even entertain him. Silence is golden. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
White Flower Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Hi Sunfish, I was going through exactly what you are now just a few months ago. I was suffering and then I found LS. I was going to end it and try to move on. And the thought of that killed me. Then I began to ask myself did I ever really expect anything to come of this? The answer was no. All along I knew I couldn't be responsible for breaking up a M. If that we're going to happen it's because MM decides that all on his own because it is right for him. So I began to focus on myself AND what I DO get our of the R now. I get just about everything except the commitment. I even feel I have the commitment, just not the piece of paper saying he's committed. I get more from him in 10 minutes than I ever got from my H in ten hours or even ten years, sadly. When I finally began focussing on all that I got instead of what I didn't get I felt just fine. I haven't been back on that rollercoaster since. I certainly miss him during the stretches between visits but I no longer feel I need a fix or anything like that. So, ask yourself what it is you are getting. Is it enough?
torranceshipman Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 The only way you can move on quicker is if you end the A yourself and take some power back! Right now, I am guessing a text or call from him pretty much makes or breaks your day, and thats really wrong - what a rollercoaster...plus, in the end, what can he give you anyway...he already has a W and family. I know its easier said than done, but if you let this guy go then, a) you get off the rollercoaster b) you take your power back, i.e. you dont rely on him for 100% of your happiness c) you get rid of that feeling of being sad all the time d) you get to date cute SG's who DON't have all this baggage and can treat you the way you should be treated!!! e) you wont be a part of helping him cheat on his W f) if he suddenly loses you it'll be a wake up call to him about how he feels about you - right now you're an 'option' and he doesnt have to work hard as you will always be there to take what little crumbs he gives you.... g) no more feeling jealous when he is with his W and wondering what they are doing So what are the benefits of staying? Oh yea...temporary fix of happiness followed by misery until the next time you hear from him...great!
lovelorcet Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Oh dear!! Stop holding your breath and take a few deep breaths. One after another... Try to first appreciate that the way you feel right now is only temporary, IT WILL PASS. As others have already stated, you feel this way because you have lost control and any type of emotional protection you once might have had. You need to distance yourself from this man and this situation to gain a piece of mind. What I will say right now may not really make sense to you until you are far enough away from the situation. This guy sounds like the typical chaser, he chased you with his sweet words and actions till he stripped you of all your emotional armor. Now you are standing there naked and defenseless. The chase is over for him and he has stated to lose interest. It was never really about you, he was just after the excitement of the chase. I highly doubt that you did something "wrong," (besides the obvious) so stop questioning yourself about this and start to find a way to put some armor back on. ya, men suck sometimes.
marlena Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 (edited) You are feeling this way because affairs are exciting and really pump up the adrenaline. It's like being caught in a wildfire. They evoke extremely potent emotional rsponses. It is a high like no other. That is why when they end, the fall is fatal. You think that you are dying but you are not. It only seems that way. You will suffer greatly, of that there is no doubt. However, you can do a lot to reduce the damage. The sooner you cut off all ties the faster you will begin to rediscover yourself, the person that you were before the affair changed you. What has always helped me get over the pain of a break up is ANGER and a strong support system. Anger at being misled and, yes, in some ways, being used for selfish reasons. It should not matter to you whether this person loved you or not. He may well have. What matters are his actions. His betrayed you in the sense that he made promises that he couldn't keep or rather did not want to keep. Anybody can put an end to a marriage if they really want to. Most don't because they do not really want to. Why? Convenience, I'd say or the stakes are too high. This would make me VERY ANGRY. And this anger would keep me afloat and determined to stay away at any cost. Keep the fire of anger burning until it smoulders and is finally totally extinguished. Now is the time to make a pest of yourself to friends and family..and LS. Talk,talk,talk until you are all talked out. Time and distanceat all costs will do the rest. You will survive this a much stronger person. I can assure you of this. Edited February 2, 2008 by marlena
phoenixrising Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 ... love isn't about anger, though you will go through this, and it helps temporarily. The truth is - if you truly love him, let him go to find his way. And yes, it hurts so much it feels like a physical blow to the gut. But the MM we have loved are going through their own unique set of circumstances, and we are only a small part of their lives, as much as we'd like it to be different. Establishing NC, as recommended by so many people on this site, will help you to see your situation from a new viewpoint... one where you can make more objective decisions about what YOU need from a relationship. Though I never posted my situation, I remember the days (and there were several over 3 years) I could have written the words you wrote. I've used this site to get me through to this point... I hope we can all help you in the same way.
jaslene2009 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I know how you are feeling right now as I am riding on the same emotional roller coaster. In my opinion, you should focus more on the things you use to do before you met Mr. Wonderful. What was so inportant in your life before you met him? That is what I am trying to do to get over this miserable feeling. I know you love you him, but you can not blame yourself for his mishaps. I love the MM I am with too! But I am getting tired of the mixed emotions and would rather be in my M or find someone new. But, you think real hard about what matters to you other than him and try to work hard to accomplish the goal. I hope this helps you. I am so hurt right now. So angry and sad. My heart is breaking and I can't stop it. I've loved this man fiercely for the last year and I know deep down inside something has changed over the last 3 months. The "I am in love with you"'s and "You are the love of my life"'s turned into simple half hearted "I love you"'s. And now I rarely hear even that. He used to leave his AIM on and would look forward to reading IMs from me and now he barely logs on or checks to see if I've sent them. And when confronted he tells me nothing has changed but then asks me for time and space to manage things that are "unrelated to me". I don't even get the courtesy of hearing this in person or on the phone but rather via a text message. I can't stop the hot tears from spilling from my eyes and running down my cheeks. I find myself holding my breathe because for whatever reason it helps ease the pain in my heart for a few seconds. But the pain always returns, each wave more intense than the last. I can't help but ask what i did wrong? What did i say or do for him to stop loving me the way he used to. My heart is torn between wishing I'd never met him and wishing that things were the way they used to be. When I'm with him it's the highest high I've ever experienced and now my heart feels like there's no way it could break into any more pieces. No matter how wrong it is, I am still very much in love with this man and would give it all up to be with him or even to hear his voice or to feel his arms around me at this moment. I know I'm in the wrong for even being in this relationship, but my heart...my heart, it just won't let me be. I know there are many of us out there. If by chance any one of you comes across this posting, please know that if i knew of a switch, or magic potion, or some voodoo magic to take away this intense blinding pain away I wouldn't hesistate to send it right on over, because, frankly ,I am struggling to believe that I'm going to make it through this or that anyone ever comes out on the other side of things like this in one piece.
whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 The "I am in love with you"'s and "You are the love of my life"'s turned into simple half hearted "I love you"'s. And now I rarely hear even that. He used to leave his AIM on and would look forward to reading IMs from me and now he barely logs on or checks to see if I've sent them. And when confronted he tells me nothing has changed but then asks me for time and space to manage things that are "unrelated to me". I don't even get the courtesy of hearing this in person or on the phone but rather via a text message. This sounds like the honeymoon phase is over and he's backed off abit. Asking for time and space doesn't have to mean that it's over, it just means that things have changed pace. When you mean confronted, in what way? Confrontational or calmly? I can't stop the hot tears from spilling from my eyes and running down my cheeks. I find myself holding my breathe because for whatever reason it helps ease the pain in my heart for a few seconds. But the pain always returns, each wave more intense than the last. Because of this, you really need to try to detach from him and find trusted friends and family to spend time with you. This guy is making you hurt and it won't stop until you decide what you want. Remember, he is married and if you want to be the OW in his life, he's going to expect you to jump to his tune. On his terms, his time frame..Not yours. If you can accept being second fiddle and treated poorly, then yes, continue your affair with him as he isn't going to change his ways - OR, decide you deserve better and more! Detach and spend less time thinking about him let alone seeing him. YOU make time for him, take control and hopefully in time you will be strong enough to end it with him. This guy is a cheater and a liar, and the way he is treating you will only get worse as time goes on.
Zolie Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 frankly ,I am struggling to believe that I'm going to make it through this or that anyone ever comes out on the other side of things like this in one piece. Stop that! Of course anyone can come out on the other side in one piece! Your emotions are piercing you right now and blinding you, keeping you from seeing that this is not the end of the world. It's not. I promise. Tell us more about it.
OpenBook Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 (edited) In love and life, unfortunately, there are no guarantees. The only way I see to avoid this kind of pain is to not put all your eggs into another person's basket. EVER. In your mind right now, he is holding all the cards... and has scattered them all over the floor. This is an illusion. You must work toward the realization that he holds NO cards when it comes to you. He is not the boss of you. He is not the be-all and end-all of your existence. He does not determine your self-worth. He has nothing to do with it. As another poster said, you have given away all your power to him, and you must now take it back. Wrap yourself up in the mantle of mystery. It is comforting, and great protection, while you heal. Edited February 2, 2008 by OpenBook
whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I can't help but ask what i did wrong? What did i say or do for him to stop loving me the way he used to. Why are you blaming yourself? That isn't going to help you! Try to stay positive and remember, the guy is married, so even if he is truly inlove with you, it won't change his marital status...He may not be able to handle it anymore, hense the distance and him not being as into you as he once was. Maybe he started feeling bad and guilty....Unfortunately, as much as it hurts you, he does have the right to change his mind and focus on his marriage. Though, he could be handling it better and not making you so upset. I will say, don't put all your reasons to be happy on him. HE is a part of your life, not your WHOLE life. I know you're hurting but as OB as said, take back your power! Don't let him or any other man make you crumble like you can't go on without them..
StillSame Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I can't help but ask what i did wrong? Ever thought about the answer "being an adulterer." People, generally, don't respect adulterers, you know. They eventually open their eyes and see the person in front of them. Maybe he has opened his eyes.
Lizzie60 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Humm.... I know how it feels, I had only one heartbreak in my life and it was painful... but time will heal your pain. trust me it does.. but you have to go through it. A few things caught my attention in your post: And when confronted he tells me nothing has changed but then asks me for time and space to manage things that are "unrelated to me". When confronted, a man will most likely say what he knows YOU want to hear. He will try to minimize the break. What did i say or do for him to stop loving me the way he used to. Nothing probably... he just wants out for some reason.. He's married (?) and probably just got cold feet, or he feels he's too closed to being caught. I am still very much in love with this man and would give it all up to be with him or even to hear his voice or to feel his arms around me at this moment. This is what caught my attention the most, maybe he felt that you were getting waaay to emotionally attached to him and he wasn't ready for that or just didn't want that. They're not all honest about what they want. He probably made you believe he was in love with you, when in fact, all he wanted was sex on the side. There is no magic potion unfortunately.. you have to be strong and learn from this... It will only make you a better and stronger person... Pamper yourself, take care of youself, when you start thinking or daydreaming about him.. change your mind right away.. do something that will take your mind off your pain. I know it's not easy but we all go through similar painful experience... and no one is dead from a heartbreak. Come on.. I know it's not easy but don't stay inside and think and think about this guy... there are tons out there...
Author SunFish Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 Thanks to everyone for your support. I can't tell you how much it helps to read your words of encouragemens and advice. Before I put up that post last night, I responded to his text message asking what he meant by things "unrelated to me" and if he needed a break from our relationship. Of course, I obsessively checked my phone for a reply but nothing came through and I finally cried myself to sleep. Interestingly enough, when I woke up this morning I didn't immediately reach for my phone because I knew there would be nothing from him and when I did check, I was right. OWoman, you hit it on the nail as to why I suspect that his feelings have changed for me. Everything these days is reactive not spontaneous. When we are together it's wonderful and he does everything he can to make me feel good but the only problem is that he focuses on making me feel good physically, not emotionally. Unfortunately, I'm not able to better articulate what I mean. I've always known that in any relationship, the intensity, the fire, the passion with which it starts eventually dies down and unfortunately in some it completely disappears or burns out. We talked extensively about the difference between loving and being in love with someone and how it seems that although we start being in love, over time, things change, life gets crazy and the person that you couldn't get enough, couldn't touch enough or would die just to hear his/her voice, becomes nothing more than a friend or companion. You love him or her, but you're no longer in love. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I wanted us to stay in love forever. Because of the nature of our relationship, displays of affection are limited to things like text messages, IMs and stolen moments in hotel rooms. We don't get to show each other how in love we are with each other everyday by doing things like cuddling on the couch after a stressful day at work or cooking a fantastic dinner, or spooning before falling asleep at night. And now that my signs of affection are waning, I'm (for a lack of better words) freaking out. As I said before, everyone has been super supportive and I appreciate it. I have to think about what I'm going to do next. Somewhere in all of this, I lost myself and I miss the feeling of knowing and being confident in who I am and what i'm doing. I've always been the type to keep up an emotional wall for fear of being hurt and he asked me to bring those walls down. I put my guard down and let him in arms wide open thinking I had found someone who understands me and would love me for the rest of my life. What I realized this morning when I didn't get a text message back from him is that he really doesn't know me nor does he have any regard for my feelings. He should have known that sending such an ambiguous message would have left me reeling and that leaving me in the dark to come up with the answers to my own questions would have crushed me. I know I will survive this, I just wish it didn't have to be so painful.
Author SunFish Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 Good question about the confrontation. I'm the type of person who will analyze things to death before asking a question. When I started to notice things changing I didn't say anything. I just took a step back and watched to see how things would play out. There were two things that broke the camel's back for me. If things were going well, then neither act on it's own would have caused any alarm but given how things were going and that they happened back to back, it just made me angry. One was telling me he was going to be online to chat but never logging on and the other was forgetting to tell me that he wouldn't be able to make it out on our "usual" night out. Like I said, either thing happening on a good day wouldn't have mattered, but with everything else going on they were both evidence in my mind of his diminishing lack of interest. There were two parts to my confrontation. While I was in the middle of the anger I left him an IM explaining how I felt. (AIM allows you to leave a message for someone even though they are not logged in.) I tried to be super careful about the message making sure to not be accusatory or to come across as yelling. The next day, I realized that I needed to tell him in person so I asked him to come out which he did. He seemed happy to see me so told him calmly that the night before I was angry and that I've been processing things I've noticed in our relationship for sometime now. He asked for details and told me that there was nothing to worry about and that next time instead of going crazy in my own mind I should just ask. After reading all of the replies to my post, I realize that although I'm hurt, it's hard to truly be angry at him if he's fallen out of love with me. He's human and can't help how he feels. I can though, fault him for not being more upfront with his feelings, especially when he for the same from me.
bentnotbroken Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 He can help who he loves, we all can, but that'a another question. I don't mean to sound rude because it is clear that you are in a great deal of pain, but did you think he wounldn't lie to you also? I mean he is lying to his wife, so why not you too? His character didn't change just because you believed he loved you, at some point he love his wife too. Just be careful. And take some time for yourself.
child_of_isis Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I'm thinking he has another OW. Or has spotted a new one he wants to get to know better. When I read this, one thing that flitted through my mind was....his wife probably could have written the exact same post. I'm sorry for your pain. But I am thinking this man is not finished. His W has suffered, you have suffered....and the next one will suffer. He will play the game until someone stops him. Jesus...these people are not human.I am so hurt right now. So angry and sad. My heart is breaking and I can't stop it. I've loved this man fiercely for the last year and I know deep down inside something has changed over the last 3 months. The "I am in love with you"'s and "You are the love of my life"'s turned into simple half hearted "I love you"'s. And now I rarely hear even that. He used to leave his AIM on and would look forward to reading IMs from me and now he barely logs on or checks to see if I've sent them. And when confronted he tells me nothing has changed but then asks me for time and space to manage things that are "unrelated to me". I don't even get the courtesy of hearing this in person or on the phone but rather via a text message. I can't stop the hot tears from spilling from my eyes and running down my cheeks. I find myself holding my breathe because for whatever reason it helps ease the pain in my heart for a few seconds. But the pain always returns, each wave more intense than the last. I can't help but ask what i did wrong? What did i say or do for him to stop loving me the way he used to. My heart is torn between wishing I'd never met him and wishing that things were the way they used to be. When I'm with him it's the highest high I've ever experienced and now my heart feels like there's no way it could break into any more pieces. No matter how wrong it is, I am still very much in love with this man and would give it all up to be with him or even to hear his voice or to feel his arms around me at this moment. I know I'm in the wrong for even being in this relationship, but my heart...my heart, it just won't let me be. I know there are many of us out there. If by chance any one of you comes across this posting, please know that if i knew of a switch, or magic potion, or some voodoo magic to take away this intense blinding pain away I wouldn't hesistate to send it right on over, because, frankly ,I am struggling to believe that I'm going to make it through this or that anyone ever comes out on the other side of things like this in one piece.
bentnotbroken Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I'm thinking he has another OW. Or has spotted a new one he wants to get to know better. When I read this, one thing that flitted through my mind was....his wife probably could have written the exact same post. I'm sorry for your pain. But I am thinking this man is not finished. His W has suffered, you have suffered....and the next one will suffer. He will play the game until someone stops him. Jesus...these people are not human. My thoughts exactly.
Meaplus3 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 I am so hurt right now. So angry and sad. My heart is breaking and I can't stop it. I've loved this man fiercely for the last year and I know deep down inside something has changed over the last 3 months. The "I am in love with you"'s and "You are the love of my life"'s turned into simple half hearted "I love you"'s. And now I rarely hear even that. He used to leave his AIM on and would look forward to reading IMs from me and now he barely logs on or checks to see if I've sent them. And when confronted he tells me nothing has changed but then asks me for time and space to manage things that are "unrelated to me". I don't even get the courtesy of hearing this in person or on the phone but rather via a text message. I can't stop the hot tears from spilling from my eyes and running down my cheeks. I find myself holding my breathe because for whatever reason it helps ease the pain in my heart for a few seconds. But the pain always returns, each wave more intense than the last. I can't help but ask what i did wrong? What did i say or do for him to stop loving me the way he used to. My heart is torn between wishing I'd never met him and wishing that things were the way they used to be. When I'm with him it's the highest high I've ever experienced and now my heart feels like there's no way it could break into any more pieces. No matter how wrong it is, I am still very much in love with this man and would give it all up to be with him or even to hear his voice or to feel his arms around me at this moment. I know I'm in the wrong for even being in this relationship, but my heart...my heart, it just won't let me be. I know there are many of us out there. If by chance any one of you comes across this posting, please know that if i knew of a switch, or magic potion, or some voodoo magic to take away this intense blinding pain away I wouldn't hesistate to send it right on over, because, frankly ,I am struggling to believe that I'm going to make it through this or that anyone ever comes out on the other side of things like this in one piece. Hi Sunfish, I am truely so sorry that you are hurting so bad.. I understand this kind of pain as I have been there. Know this.. You can make it through..while it might feel like there is no chance right now..thing's will get better. It very much sound's like there could be a chance... that he's just not into in a way he once was, and I can understand how much this hurt's when you truely believe that you love someone. I think it's for the best that you walk away.from this mm, to save yourself from even more hurt down the line. Hug's. Stay strong. AP:)
child_of_isis Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 He already has this with his wife. The love, the spooning, the dinners, companionship, etc. He already has the calm and stable at home. You were the New. The Exciting. The "In love" feeling. I've always known that in any relationship, the intensity, the fire, the passion with which it starts eventually dies down and unfortunately in some it completely disappears or burns out. We talked extensively about the difference between loving and being in love with someone and how it seems that although we start being in love, over time, things change, life gets crazy and the person that you couldn't get enough, couldn't touch enough or would die just to hear his/her voice, becomes nothing more than a friend or companion. You love him or her, but you're no longer in love. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I wanted us to stay in love forever. Because of the nature of our relationship, displays of affection are limited to things like text messages, IMs and stolen moments in hotel rooms. We don't get to show each other how in love we are with each other everyday by doing things like cuddling on the couch after a stressful day at work or cooking a fantastic dinner, or spooning before falling asleep at night. And now that my signs of affection are waning, I'm (for a lack of better words) freaking out. .
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