maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I'm 30. I look to be in my early 20's (on a good day I get 18). I don't feel 30- although I don't know what '30' should feel like- I feel like I'm the age I look. It doesn't help that I'm back in college. Well it seems that I am not attracted to the guys I meet who are slightly older than me. I feel like they are too old (I'm talking 32-35)- or that they look too old. I seem to be attracted to guys that are too young for me (early 20's). Why? Am I subconciously sabotaging myself?
BareGoddess Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I'm 30. I look to be in my early 20's (on a good day I get 18). I don't feel 30- although I don't know what '30' should feel like- I feel like I'm the age I look. It doesn't help that I'm back in college. Well it seems that I am not attracted to the guys I meet who are slightly older than me. I feel like they are too old (I'm talking 32-35)- or that they look too old. I seem to be attracted to guys that are too young for me (early 20's). Why? Am I subconciously sabotaging myself? Are you sabotaging yourself? Only you can answer that. It just depends. Are you looking for marriage? If so then yeah, you probably are in most cases. If all you're looking for is a little fun and nothing too serious, then no, you're not sabotaging yourself. Naturally there are exceptions to this. I'm just generalizing.
reliance Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 There's nothing wrong with liking younger men. If that's your preference then go for it. I can't see the problem with that and cant see how you are sabotaging yourself.
mortensorchid Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 This is an interesting question, but it also depends on who you ask. I myself have the same condition as you. I am 33, but I can pass for someone far younger (18? Well not quite, but maybe early 20s). My friend accused me of going for Pretty Boys - young, cute and fit. Unconciously, maybe you are going for a mirror image of yourself. I realize I am going for someone who does not look like me but is kind of what I might want for myself. Maybe whoever you are going for is who or what you might want for yourself.
Author maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 Well, if I'm being completely honest with myself, yes I'm looking for marriage eventually- but not anytime soon. I am realistic and know that that isn't something that would happen with guys of the age I'm attracted to. But why aren't I attracted to the ones my own age? Why only the younger ones. Is is because I still feel young? Is it because I am in a college environment and I'm forgetting my age? Sometimes I feel like Drew Barrymore in 'First Kiss'
BareGoddess Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Well, if I'm being completely honest with myself, yes I'm looking for marriage eventually- but not anytime soon. I am realistic and know that that isn't something that would happen with guys of the age I'm attracted to. But why aren't I attracted to the ones my own age? Why only the younger ones. Is is because I still feel young? Is it because I am in a college environment and I'm forgetting my age? Sometimes I feel like Drew Barrymore in 'First Kiss' You just haven't met the right guy yet. Don't rule out the early to mid-30's guys.
jerbear Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I'm 30. I look to be in my early 20's (on a good day I get 18). I don't feel 30- although I don't know what '30' should feel like- I feel like I'm the age I look. It doesn't help that I'm back in college. Well it seems that I am not attracted to the guys I meet who are slightly older than me. I feel like they are too old (I'm talking 32-35)- or that they look too old. I seem to be attracted to guys that are too young for me (early 20's). Why? Am I subconciously sabotaging myself? Nah, you just want to be a cougar. Most of the 32-35 are working on their careers and not as fun as the younger ones who right now don't know better PLUS they can keep up.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 maybe you just like younger guys! whats wrong with that?
underpants Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Oh May, I don't know. I am not as young as you but people tell me I look young. I have enough problems trying to find a genuine guy before I delve into aesthetics, or age for that matter. I would say. If you can attract both age ranges then lightly get to know some of both and try to gauge your attraction to match some inner goals. The packaging will eventually show signs of wear. However, that is not to say that you can't find something good in a pretty one. Or something outstanding in that torn brown paper wrapped one.
Author maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 Yeah, I'm sure I just haven't met the right guy yet. But still. Guys who look to be my real age or slightly older just seem too old for me. I don't get it. They just all look so much older than me and I don't find it attractive.
THE THRONE Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I'm 30. I look to be in my early 20's (on a good day I get 18). I don't feel 30- although I don't know what '30' should feel like- I feel like I'm the age I look. It doesn't help that I'm back in college. Well it seems that I am not attracted to the guys I meet who are slightly older than me. I feel like they are too old (I'm talking 32-35)- or that they look too old. I seem to be attracted to guys that are too young for me (early 20's). Why? Am I subconciously sabotaging myself? THE THRONE believes you're sabotaging yourself. THE THRONE is 30 and is also in college. What makes it worse is THE THRONE is occasionaly asked for his ID. However, THE THRONE does not discriminate against 32-35 year old women. He prefers 25-28, but he won't slam the door on a 32-35 year old.
Author maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 To be honest, I think part of me is still holding the marriage dance card for my ex. We went NC for 2.5 months and in that time my anger and hurt of him not proposing on my timeline (10 years- 11 by the time I moved away)has evaporated. We recently started talking again and I let him know that I would propably be waiting for him once he figures things out. Maybe I'm stuck in a time mental time warp trying to make up for the fact that my first go through college I only dated him?
Author maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 THE THRONE believes you're sabotaging yourself. THE THRONE is 30 and is also in college. What makes it worse is THE THRONE is occasionaly asked for his ID. However, THE THRONE does not discriminate against 32-35 year old women. He prefers 25-28, but he won't slam the door on a 32-35 year old. I am not intentionally 'slamming the door' on men slightly older than me. I just never give them a second glance (without knowing thier age) because they look too old. Sometimes I find out later that they aren't that much older than me.
latefragment Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 i like younger (earlyish 20s) guys too. guys 32-35 freak the ***** out of me... they seem kind of old and stodgy and too... "mature" for me. I like immature boys!!! don't worry about it too much. I think I might be subconsciously sabotaging things for myself too, however, if I can't feel physically attracted to someone, I can't force myself to.(believe me, I've tried). I've dated only 2 or 3 guys (out of many) who have been older than me. Everyone else has been younger.
Lizzie60 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 No..no.. no.. you're not sabotaging anything... You have a preference, that's normal.. we all do. Some women like tall guys, some prefer dark, blue eyes... I am 55 and I looooove guys in their 20s. I just can't go out with men my age.. Don't worry about it.. Enjoy... they are lots of fun!!! trust me on that one.. they make you feel young and sexy... I love the feeling.
THE THRONE Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I am not intentionally 'slamming the door' on men slightly older than me. I just never give them a second glance (without knowing thier age) because they look too old. Sometimes I find out later that they aren't that much older than me. If you never give them a chance because they look to old you're intentionally doing it. What are your intentions for not giving them a second chance? Because they look too old.
Author maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 Second GLANCE- not chance. I'm never attracted enough to give them a first chance.
latefragment Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 maynicholas - how old is your ex? Is he your age? and does he look really young as well?
Author maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 He is 30 as well. He doesn't look like he did when we first met. He actually looks older than me now. But I think he is adorable.
THE THRONE Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Second GLANCE- not chance. I'm never attracted enough to give them a first chance. Glance, chance it doesn't matter because you aren't interested anyway. Again, you're doing this to yourself, and THE THRONE says you shouldn't limit yourself like that.
latefragment Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 one reason i really like younger guys is i was so socially awkward in college and high school that i never had a boyfriend until 2nd semester of senior year at my university. now that i'm a lot more extroverted, outgoing, and flirtatious than i was back then, i'm ... now interested in finally playing 'catch-up' and trying to date the college-type (not necessarily college-age, though - okay, sometimes...) guys that I merely drooled over and dreamed about whilst at school - and/or high school. In your situation, as you said, with your ex taking up most of your college years, i think you are going through the same thing. A second college rebirth. Are you in graduate school or are you getting a second bachelors? One of the biggest reasons I wanted to go to grad school was so I could meet younger guys. LOL. I didn't end up going to grad school (didn't think that was a good enough reason) but it sure was tempting. Can you imagine being a TA for a class and ... Okay I'm stopping right there.
Balthazar Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I see nothing wrong with you going out with anybody you like. But as other posters have said, it all depends on what you want. Men who are older than you will probably want to commit, while the younger ones are just in it for the good times. If you are looking for a long term relationship with younger men, well it can happen, but the odds are not really in your favor. Concerning your appearance, it is great for you that you look and feel so much younger. Take advantage of this!
dropdeadlegs Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 (edited) I'm 30. I look to be in my early 20's (on a good day I get 18). I don't feel 30- although I don't know what '30' should feel like- I feel like I'm the age I look. It doesn't help that I'm back in college. Well it seems that I am not attracted to the guys I meet who are slightly older than me. I feel like they are too old (I'm talking 32-35)- or that they look too old. I seem to be attracted to guys that are too young for me (early 20's). Why? Am I subconciously sabotaging myself?I doubt it's self sabotage. Self sabotage would be more like eternally desiring high school boys. Date the early 20's guys to your hearts content, but when you're ready to commit look for someone your own age. They have more similar experiences and generally make better partners. Edited February 2, 2008 by dropdeadlegs
Author maynicholas Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 The irony lies in the fact that used to always say that I didn't like younger men. It seems the younger guys I meet are cuter, more playful, and make me feel sexy. Where as the ones closer to my age- but older- are all too clingy, have that desperate/ pushy way about them-and compared to me they look 15 years older- and that makes me feel dirty(not in the good way). I think I just haven't come across a good one yet.
crosswordfiend Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Sounds like it's more an issue of how old the guys look rather than how old they are. I bet that if you met a guy your age who looked as youthful as you do, you'd be singing a different tune.
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