Kaapepaa Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 (edited) Hey people.. I need some advice cause I can't think straight at the moment and I feel that people who might have experienced this know what to do. I've been together with my girlfriend for 3 years. She's 19 and I'm 22. We don't live in the same country.. although we used to but I had to move back for a few months cause her mom died.. I was unemployed and didn't have anywhere to go so it was unavoidable. Cause of her loss I thought it would be good for her to have someone there for her, so I invited her over Xmas to celebrate it with me and my family. For about 2 weeks. She was really sad and cried a lot, that was understandable and I was always on her side and helped her through it. Once she was back to her own country she went to some special school were they teach people to be independent and live on their own. We decided that once she was done with this ( after 3 months ) and she had an apartment I would move in with her.. and also look for a job. A little bit over 3 weeks lasted and I was feeling bad that I couldn't be with her. She then sent me an e-mail ( she has very little communication options, only a mobile phone and minimum 30 minutes every day on the computer ) and she told me that she was gonna let me go.. permanently. I was shocked and panicked. I called her directly but she didn't answer.. Then I sent her an e-mail, begging for her to take me back. She replied to it and said it wasn't possible for her to do that. She just wants us to be friends. So I desperately searched for a job so I could move down there. I found a job within 1 day ( amazingly enough, I think I was lucky ). I will move down to her country in about 1-2 weeks but I will not live in the same city as her. In fact.. it's 2 hours train travelling between me and her. The reason why she broke up with me was cause she said she have only felt me as a "friend" for over 1 year! She never told me this and it came as a surprise... and it was very hurtful. During that 3 year relationship I had changed a lot.. I had money problems and was very stressed so I changed from a good person to an emotional person. She wanted this to change and gave me chances to change this. I gave it a shot but it all came back to me 2 weeks later almost, which made her lose hope over our relationship. I asked her for another try... same thing happened.. I tried again.. same thing.. I don't believe there is someone else cause she's going through a lot of emotions at the moment cause of her mom dying.. and I did manage to reach her on the phone 3 days later ( today ). I was crying a bit cause I thought this was unfair. She says she knows she's hurting me, but she say this is for the best cause she need to concentrate on herself to get better. She doesn't wanna be together with me cause she believes I can't change, and she doesn't dare to give me another chance. This break up sent a rage into myself and I've devoted myself to turn into the guy she wants. I also want to turn back into this guy cause I was happy back then as well. She said we can be friends but she is not sure if we'll ever get together again. I told her that I will PROVE to her that I've changed, and then she can decide for herself if she wants to take me back or not. She also said that letting me go have releases some of her stress and a relief.. it hurted to hear this. I love her deeply and have always tried to be the nicest guy ever for her, even though I was very emotional at times. Do you people think I should give this up cause maybe I'm fighting for something that I don't know will work. She said she can meet up with me and that things like hugging and friendly cuddles are okay. My dad gave me some advice and that was to have a low profile and never beg for her to take me back or assume anything, since that will show how weak I am. My body feels all messed up and it's just horrible. I don't know if I can accept her being with someone else, even though I've told her that I will do anything to make her happy, even to let her go for someone else. She says she won't be together with anyone anytime soon cause of all the stress and such.. but I'm not so sure about that. I know that when someone's emotional they do crazy things, even searching for people to help remove their suffering. I'm just.. clueless of what to do. She says I should concentrate on my life first. Which I will cause I really did need a job so this was nice, but I don't know if I can handle this. I keep thinking between "I wanna fight to keep her" and "I don't wanna move on anymore.". Both those feelings are equally strong.. Please, anyone got some advice? Edited February 2, 2008 by Kaapepaa
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