brokenthinker Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Well it's been 5 months... my wife is still living out of state with the kid she met online. She's never been happier... in her own words today to a friend.... "I know what I did was wrong. But im not going to destroy my current happiness to patch things up with Jason because I know things will never be the same. Plus I don't love him. But thats beside the point." it seems so hopeless.. my wife is so remorseless, there isn't any hint of guilt or shame over what she did. And I don't feel that I will ever get an opportunity to even show my wife the changes... she doesn't even speak to me, nor seemingly cares... Just walked out of my life and never looked back. I never abused my wife, we rarely fought, things could have been better... but to be so bad to abandon me... I am so lost, and still so very hurt.. I wish she would have remorse.. Am I wasting my time holding my breathe? I really can't take much more of this... Apparently starting a new life with a new person and a ton of new friends is what she needed to forget all about me. I guess the saying isnt true "what goes around comes around" because sure looks like consequence free affair to me.. and a happily ever after for her.
whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I'm sorry and I'm sure you're in alot of pain, but your wife has moved on. Sadly, once someone decides a relationship/marriage is over (she mentally checked out a long time ago) there isn't much you can do to get her back. As for what happens to her in the future? Well, she's still in the honeymoon phase of mr online guy. SHE DOES NOT KNOW HIM! She has no history with him whatsoever, so trust me, one day when all that fizzles down and it becomes 'real' and she has to deal with the daily crap life throws at ya, things will change. She'll get her karma, it'll just take longer to happen, that's all. Take care of you. Heal yourself and try to make peace with what's happened. You can't control her, or what she does, though you can control how you react and how you handle your life from now on.
Elilmomma Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Believe me that saying is true kharma is a b**** you do get back what you put out there... she may seem happy for now but trust me when I say that it won't last very long.. So just keep your head up and try your best to move on and find some sort of happiness. You are not hopeless just hurt by her actions in time you will heal and hopefully find some peace. Good Luck on your journey..
Mr. Lucky Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Plus I don't love him. If she came back to you tomorrow - whether for financial reasons or out of guilt for making you so unhappy - would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that doesn't love you? While it takes two to marry, it unfortunately only takes one to divorce. Just going to take time for you to feel better about yourself and your prospects. It's tough to hear, but you'll have to move on... Mr. Lucky
eastcoastMan Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Well, she's still in the honeymoon phase of mr online guy. SHE DOES NOT KNOW HIM! She has no history with him whatsoever, so trust me, one day when all that fizzles down and it becomes 'real' and she has to deal with the daily crap life throws at ya, things will change. quote] whichwayisup is so point on!!! I'm sure you want to wait around for the day your wife realizes her mistake, realizes the pain she has caused you, because her online fling has turned for the worse and now she's come back crawling on her hands and knees begging for you to take her back and giving you that much needed APOLOGY. -- don't wait around for this. When things turn for her, and they WILL turn according to the statistics regarding these kinds of circumstances, she just might reach out to you but what YOU need to be doing NOW is to get back on track with your life. Realize the good within you. And be CONFIDENT. If I were you, I wouldn't reach out to her. Don't call or email looking for answers. Let her go. As your confidence builds, her actions will catch up with her. She'll begin to wonder about you, why she hasn't heard from you in awhile and she'll begin to INTERNALIZE these feelings. She'll wonder what's wrong with her because you seemingly moved on and don't care about her. (of course you're still trying to build within you what's been lost and it is still extremely difficult for you to avoid your wife, but don't let her know this!) if you STAY YOUR GROUND, she will COME AROUND! But when she does, you'll be a different person. More confident, more attractive - because CONFIDENCE IS ATTRACTIVE. Ask any woman in here. And if your wife does contact you, don't come across as hurt or desperate or needy. Tell her you'll call her back, then don't. Wait for her to call you back then be as nonchalant about the entire situation. Tell her you just want HER happy. Turn things on her. She'll wonder what has changed in you. She'll begin to imagine what you possibly could be up to. You will have become a sort of confident mystery man -- another attraction. And then it will happen. She'll begin to talk. To give you reasons why she did what she did. She'll talk in hopes of getting more answers out of you. The point I'm trying to make here is, the tables WILL turn. In the meantime build your self-esteem, and build your confidence. By the time your wife reaches out to you, you will have moved on EMOTIONALLY. Score! You WIN! You're back! And know one can take this away from you. Hang in there my friend!
ladyintights Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 Well it's been 5 months... my wife is still living out of state with the kid she met online. She's never been happier... in her own words today to a friend.... "I know what I did was wrong. But im not going to destroy my current happiness to patch things up with Jason because I know things will never be the same. Plus I don't love him. But thats beside the point." it seems so hopeless.. my wife is so remorseless, there isn't any hint of guilt or shame over what she did. And I don't feel that I will ever get an opportunity to even show my wife the changes... she doesn't even speak to me, nor seemingly cares... Just walked out of my life and never looked back. I never abused my wife, we rarely fought, things could have been better... but to be so bad to abandon me... I am so lost, and still so very hurt.. I wish she would have remorse.. Am I wasting my time holding my breathe? I really can't take much more of this... Apparently starting a new life with a new person and a ton of new friends is what she needed to forget all about me. I guess the saying isnt true "what goes around comes around" because sure looks like consequence free affair to me.. and a happily ever after for her. Do you have access to her emails or something? You cannot allow this to linger on. You have to start focusing on YOURSELF and putting yourself out there when the time is right. Work on yourself.. go to the gym, read some books, enhance your education etc. The only way you attract people is by not looking so needy and desperate. Show her you have a life and ARE wanted. Do not call her, bug her etc. Wait til she calls you and act busy or like you are with someone, busy, whatever! Whether it works or not won't matter.. eventually you will make the right steps to move onward yourself. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS WOMAN-> you can do SO much better! You are too good of a person to be this ingrate's doormat!
Trojan John Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 Seriously man, judge the woman by her actions. Are these the actions and words of a loving wife? Someone with whom you want to live the rest of your life? You would not allow anyone to kick you in the face 3x per day, so why are you letting her do it (figuratively)? Log all of her actions, get a fast divorce, burn anything that reminds you of her, and start working on making YOU happy!
the_dean Posted February 10, 2008 Posted February 10, 2008 It is obvious these are the actions of a loving wife. However, we dont know the whole situaiton. People have been no to do things out of character if they are unhappy. Maybe she has moved on or maybe she has convinced herself that she has never been happy as a way of not dealing with the guilt she should feel. Regardless, it is a horrible situation and I do wish you the best of luck. Dean
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