JackhammerGemma Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Today I confirmed that the person my boyfriend has been cheating on me with is a co-worker of ours (my bf left my department a few weeks ago to go to another one.) I found out because I called the number I found in his phone from texts that revealed he was cheating a couple weeks ago, and when I called it I watched her take the phone out of her pocket. For a long time I have been addicted to him and to the relationship - hence why I haven't left yet- constant worrying has turned me into a stick figure and someone I don't recognize. I no longer do anything fun, just stay at home and sleep or watch DVDs when I'm not with him. No matter what he does to me I am still in the relationship like a punching bag that keeps coming back for another hit. (Or as Shakira says, "Salt my wounds and I'll keep saying Thank you.") However, I am so damaged and broken that I can no longer tolerate his cheating ways and his shadiness. For some reason it seems easier to break away from the relationship because it's a co-worker he's been messing around with. It's easier for me to be angry at him for making a fool out of me by hooking up with someone we both worked with, right under my nose, rather than a stranger I didn't know. When I think about it, the only need being met in this relationship was the sex part, which I would miss very much. I know there are other fish in the sea but I'm in that stage where I don't want to think of being intimate or sleeping next to anyone else right now because I'm literally addicted to him like a crack addict. As angry as I am and as much as I hate him for what he's done and how little he respects me, part of me still loves him and can't imagine life without him. I think about how we talked of having kids and getting married and it just hurts to think someone else will have his kids and be his wife (I know, he will be her problem to deal with because he's also an alcoholic). So my question is...should I try to break away from the emotional part of the relationship and just date him casually for the sex? I kind of see him as a bad person because of what he's done but I was satisfied with the sex and I think I could do it without getting re-attached. In a sadistic way I will probably get some kind of personal satisfaction out of just getting one thing from him, I think. It is pretty obvious to me that he will probably never be satisfied with just one girl, so I'm thinking of just dating him very casually while I take time to build my life back up, hook back up with friends and try to learn what I knew before him as far as my social habits and interests. And somewhere along the way I will start dating other people again. What do you think?
prisonbreak Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I would definately not have sex with him. We are women and it's a fact that it's more emotional for us! You may not think so, but it is. It'll only make the day after more unbearable. Run for the hills. You don't need him around while you build your life back up. He's the one holding you down, why carry that baggage with you when your trying to rebuild? It'll only slow your process down.
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