micahmo77 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 So im sitting here at home, crushed and destroyed. As I read through alot of the other posts I see alot of other people are going through the same agony. I have been with my ex girlfriend/fiance for four years and she just recently broke it off with me. I wont get into a huge story as to what happened but can say she did cheat on me and is caught between him and I, wanting space to find out what she wants etc. I feel as though I could look past the fact she did this but I dont want to keep pushing her away. I havent called, emailed, showed up at her house etc, but I want to so bad. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do to make things right between us. Or maybe how long I should wait to contact her again. I dont believe someone can just throw away four years and memories for someone new that they have known for a month or two. I know she knows how much I love her, I have already done the make myself look stupid and pathetic thing. Crying, begging, calling nonstop etc, have learned from that though and wont do that again.
PandorasBox Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Just because you love someone doesn't always mean they are good for us or need to be in our lives. You migth want to really examine why it is you want to take her back since she has cheated.
LoveLace Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Oh I don't like to be a bearer of bad news. But here goes, if she cheated AND was the one to break it off with you...chances are she's already chosen the other dude. If she gave you the impression that she just needs time to decide what she wants, it was only a way to give you hope, without breaking your heart too much. Too late for that though, I'm sure. It IS hard to believe that anyone can drop 4 years like it's nothing; but people do it all the time, weather it's 4 years or 20. You should start to live life as though she has already made her choice, because she probably has. You love her so you want to forgive her, but just think if she came back. Wouldn't you have trust issues? It would be a forever-burden on the relationship, more than likely. You wouldn't just go right back to everything being hunky-dory. Damage has been done. Start planning for a journey of life without her in it. In your mind, fakely thank her for "setting you free". Now you have the opportunity to live for yourself and yourself only. In the future, you will date new women and when you tell them your Ex cheated, they will say "what a b*tch! what was she thinking, screwing up with a good guy like that?".
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 (edited) So im sitting here at home, crushed and destroyed. As I read through alot of the other posts I see alot of other people are going through the same agony. I have been with my ex girlfriend/fiance for four years and she just recently broke it off with me. I wont get into a huge story as to what happened but can say she did cheat on me and is caught between him and I, wanting space to find out what she wants etc. I feel as though I could look past the fact she did this but I dont want to keep pushing her away. I havent called, emailed, showed up at her house etc, but I want to so bad. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do to make things right between us. Or maybe how long I should wait to contact her again. I dont believe someone can just throw away four years and memories for someone new that they have known for a month or two. I know she knows how much I love her, I have already done the make myself look stupid and pathetic thing. Crying, begging, calling nonstop etc, have learned from that though and wont do that again. Why do you want someone who did cheat on you and has no problem doing so. Is that what a woman whos to be your wife do? Is that wifey behavior. I say cut your losses and move on. She can say she got caught up in the moment. but that's all BS, she used you until she found someone better. She's banging him right now while your hanging on. Dont be a doormat, let everyone know that she's a ho and trifling. And you found someone else. it's as simple as that. How could you even consider to be with this woman knwoing she's cheating when your about to get married? What do you want to say? She got cold feet? C'mon man give me a break! Better to know about her trifling now than later! Bury your love for her and move on. She isnt the one for you, love of my life my ass!!! lol. P.S. You better get that ring back! she aint worth it! Edited February 2, 2008 by Chrome Barracuda question!
lindya Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 I have been with my ex girlfriend/fiance for four years and she just recently broke it off with me. I wont get into a huge story as to what happened but can say she did cheat on me and is caught between him and I, wanting space to find out what she wants etc. I feel as though I could look past the fact she did this but I dont want to keep pushing her away. I havent called, emailed, showed up at her house etc, but I want to so bad. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do to make things right between us. I really feel for you. Self-blaming, responsibility-assuming tendencies are a bugger, and I think that people who have them probably find it far harder to accept, then recover from, relationship breakdowns. Her decision to cheat is not your responsibility, and neither is it a reflection on who you are as a person or a boyfriend. Your only responsibility now is to yourself....to focus on getting past this stage of trying to figure out how to get an immature, dishonest partner back into your life. Only then will you start rebuilding your self confidence.
ilovetotalk Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Just a quick question. How long after a break up should I date. I started dating this guy after being broken up for 2 1/2 months. Was seeing my ex for a year and he cheated on me several times. I still think about him.... he gave me many things that previous relationships did not, but I also think that he gave other women the same things during our relationship:) The only thing is, I am going on dates but am indifferent if he calls. Really nice guy, he calls, says all the right things, I think I like him. I mean, I don't go home crying or anything or wish it was my ex that i was with. I am just guarded I think... I mean I am pretty good at keeping myself busy with skiing, soccer, running groups, workout buds, squash, movies with friends, coffee, etc... I mean I have many people i could call to go out with or have a chit chat with...... I don't know why I am indifferent if I go out with guys or not. I was pretty happy with my life before my ex and I feel like he stole from my cup without a care in the world. I am working at being happy with my life as we know it. Is it wrong to go out and enjoy the dates in the moment without thinking long term? Any comment would be appreciated....
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