hugznkisses21 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Hi there, I want to share my story and maybe get some advice, encouragement etc. I am 25 by bf is 26, we live about 20 mins from eachother and have been dating for about 1.5 years. We have had our ups and downs, i will say it has not been the easiest relationship but definately the most meaningful, loving and caring realtionship. We recently purchased a home which is going to be finished in March of 2009. We are excited and happy but also very nervous....It will be our first time living together. But we do know that this is more than a house but the first step in the beginning of our future together....and if is given from both that that includes marriage and children. So...i owe alot of money and of course when buying a new home we need alot of start up money....so he has gotten a second job (extra cash) and me my second job (extra cash and pay debts) and since then life has been soo so very emotional, physical and pshycologically draining - especially on our what was once very attentive and affectionate relationship. I think why im here is because i am suffering the most. EH doesnt quite understand my emotional stress. So it hard to talk about it over and over without an argument - we have discussed it once and that is enough. I love him with all my heart, i love being around him....i used to see him a few times a week and weekends forsure....now its MAYBE once a week...i understand its all for benfitting the future for us...and i dont want either one of us to quit - it almost like i get soo worked up and upset that he doesnt seem like a bf that misses and is sad he never sees his gf - instead he seems ok, whatever, does his thing and doesnt make extra effort to contact or see me - its jsut "when we can' and we talk about the normal amount or less then what we did before. Do not get me wrong - im everything to him - he HAS to talk to me at least once a day (he has expressed this, not often but has opened up) and has told me he has never felt this way about anyone before. He would never purchase a home with someone he didnt want to live his live with for a very long time.....its just i think i feel a bit lost... I cant quite put my fingure on it....its like the movie the break up "i want him to want to wash the dishes" ya know ...i want him to want to talk to me all the time, i want to here him miss me more" cause after all we hardly see eachother....he is so nonshelont (sp?) that its killing me! Then i start to think - maybe he doesnt miss me when im away, maybe he is ok with "not" having a gf...maybe just maybe he is realising this is good... Can someone just shed some light!
SamZamboni Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 You should talk with him about all this. Why is the house going to take so long to build? Are you two over-extending yourselves, financially? Is the house more important than the home?
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 2, 2008 Author Posted February 2, 2008 I have spoken to him about this... He doesnt like repeating arguments! I dont blame him. i have expressed how hard this is and how hard it is to build our relationship furthur when it seems we are in two different worlds. The house will be done in 09 because when we bought it that was the closing date from the builder. Financially this house is well within our means we do quite well....i just think sometimes we are preparing so much for the future we forget about the now - and im hurt cause i miss him alot....he misses me too but sees it as an oppertunity to really help us get ahead - i dont think he will ever understand - unless i were to like break up and say i need a relationship not a once every two week lunch date. but i dont want to do that - play with his head - i just want my bf back - he is acting so normal like he is doing fine without me and we can meet up sometimes next week that its hurting me - any suggestions on what i can do. We are preparing finacially so much because we dont want ANY money issues when ;living together - we want no help and want to do this all on our own and not go through any financial messes our parents went through.
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