kahlan Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Hi Again....my earlier post can be found here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t142237/ Well,I left. As soon as I left the proclamations began. He realizes how much he loves me. He is in love with me. He realizes the damage he's done and does not blame me for leaving. In fact,he's glad I left because he said he would have never understood what he had done otherwise. He said he understands why I may never get over the way he treated me and why that led to me falling out of love with him. He says even he does not see how I could get over it or get those feelings back and come home. I get the impression that he understands very well. He has cried and cried and cried and told me all of the things he will do if I come back. He has said he will spend the rest of his life making it up to me.He has said that no matter how things turn out he needs me to know he's sorry. I believe that he is sincere, or at least that he believes he is. But that's not the problem. All of his promises and declarations are having no affect on me at all. The only way it affects me is that I feel sad for the both of us and I'm sorry he is hurting. I don't want him to hurt.I feel guilty about inflicting that kind of pain on someone I love, but I know I should not feel guilty because he brought it on himself by inflicting pain on me for the last 12 years. I'm hurting too, but mostly because he is hurting.As I said in my earlier post I love him alot. I'm just not in love. I've been moved out know for about a week. I'm curious what leaving did for or told any of you guys. So far I have no desire at all to go back. I don't really miss him.I just want him not to be hurting. I also wonder if I have not been out long enough to really judge my feelings or if I should even be talking to him.We have talked pretty much everyday,but I told him yesterday not to call me,and that I would call him when I was ready as he is not being very patient.Any input is greatly apreciated.
sandflea Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Well - I know that was a big step, and it took a lot of courage. I'd suggest NC for a while, just so you both have some time to cool down. Time will make it better for both of you. I'm sorry this had to happen, but it sounds like you really thought it through - and for all of the tears and attempts to bargain you back - you both will be fine. Looking back is looking down. Peace SF
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