SunnyLady Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 (edited) HELLO Everyone!!! Not sure what category this post should fall under, but its relative to an ex of mine (although not my most recent) so I guess ill post my brief story here. I was with an ex of mine for a year. We split in October 2006. He broke up with me. Well he broke it off with me, but afterward began to show signs he missed me etc. Anyway I promised myself not to go back into that rship on any condition and I moved on. That was a year and 4 months ago. Well sometime last year April (April 2007) I started hearing rumours that he was involved with some girl whom I went to school with. It was quite hard for me I must say but I was with someone then and used him as a means of blocking my ex out. This girl in issue was someone I was in school with. We were friends. although not closest of friends but we did share a friendship. When we were in university together, I was still involved with my ex. And she was involved with someone else (her presently ex boyfriend). I remember then, me and this girl used to tease each other about our boyfriends. She has always been friends with my ex who is now her present boyfriend, so we used to talk about him. And I used to give her money so she could visit her then boyfriend who is her ex now and give advice and basically just talk about our boyfriends. So I graduated from uni...and then my ex and I split. And then some months after (5/6months) I started hearing the rumours. Now it is confirmed they are together, I have known this for a while. He was very reluctant to tell me but I go it out of him somehow because I just needed to confirm that the rumours were true so I would cut him off instead of maintaining a friendship with him. So he admitted and I didn't say much about it. He used to contact me from time to time etc. Anyway, a month ago...I think it sunk in for the first time that these two were officially an item, and I felt this strong sense of betrayal. It's like for so long I never dealt with the fact that my ex was with a friend of mine (whom he had sworn in the past that he could never get involved with and had even abused some guys for getting with her because he felt she was too young). I felt so upset that they got together and never for once even spoke to find out how I felt about it. They just ignored me and went about it...So I sent him a long over due mail. In it I expressed my disappointment. I made it clear that I didn't feel anything for him but I felt upset by the callous way they went about things. Him in particular because we were very close and he knew how hurt I would be by his actions. I also told him that I didn’t want to ever hear from him (this I said with all sincerity). I don't want him offering me condolences. I don't need his pity. I feel absolutely nothing for him but I still felt saddened cos of situation. Anyway He didn’t reply me which I was glad about. Being the type of person he is, I knew he wasnt going to reply after I told him that he didn't deserve to be called a friend and that I didn't want to hear from him ever. I guess its pride or something. Recently though he asked my friend about me and why I didn't attend a particular event he attended. Today I went on to face book and saw pics of him with this new girl. His friends (that i used to be friends with) leaving cute and teasy comments. I felt sick literally. I know I am jealous, angry and bitter, but my question is WHY? After so long why am i still affected my his romance with her? I know I feel nothing whatsoever for him. I looked at his pics today and I felt nothing for him. And I know there are no residual feelings. Of course I have warm thoughts but not residual. But I'm wondering : why do I feel so sad when I see the pics of him with that girl? I feel so jealous and I know its cos of how recklessly they treated me. And I guess maybe I am more vulnerable now that I am not actively with someone? I have deep feelings for someone else...who wants to marry me. But he is in another country for the next year or so and so isn't very here for me to hold on to. I hate to feel this way after so long but I need to know that its normal or abnormal perhaps for me to feel this way? I really do need your views on this... I want to deal with this once and for all.thanks a lot...xxxx Edited February 1, 2008 by SunnyLady
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