Lies and lies

[sunflower745]

OK well I started dating this guy and one day he asked if I had a MySpace page and I told no because I didn't like that. So he said he did and blah blah. Well one day I decided to search him and found his page though I have never said anything to him that I found it. Just incase he has some "admirers" or something.

Well he came down to visit me (we live 7 hours away) and we hung out all weekend. That's when he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. Well, yesterday we were talking and he said that he put up our pictures on his MySpace for everyone to see. I played dumb and asked him how I could get in it. Then he said I don't know but I'll e-mail you the link and said he didn't check it that often. I'm a bit jealous person and he knows that cause I told him so I'll admit that I check it almost everyday and his last login date always says that he does go in it everyday. Why would he lie to me about it? I know that I also haven't told him that I know his MySpace but at least I don't say anything at all, whereas he told me to my face he doesn't check it that often. Now, I feel I can't trust him.

[Kamille]

Well you both lied about something that seems inconsequential. But in a way, the fact that he logs in every day is a lot more inconsequential then the fact that you check on him everyday but didn't tell him this. It's like you wanted to keep 'control' of the surveillance in a way. You said it yourself, you are logging in to see if he has any admirers.

 

But like I said, it's all small stuff.

 

What you could want to address is your jealousy. It kind of sounds like you expect him to put up with a certain amount of insecurity from you on the premisse that you are jealous. IMO, you need to take responsibility for your feelings of jealousy and not use them to justify your own actions. Else you might find yourself using those feeling to control him in the relationship and that's not very healthy.