prisonbreak Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I need a little help on the NC thing. I'm struggling right now. I want to contact him, but I know I won't. The last we talked was 5 days ago when I saw him. I decided after that night, I was done. I think he must have thought the same thing cause he hasn't contacted me either. I do want to be with him and he knows this. He keeps giving me mixed signals and stringing me along because he doesn't know what he wants. I guess my question is, will a guy who is done, even realize that the girl is done too (without me having to say it to him)? Since the break up 2 months ago, I have been a doormat for him. He knows how sad I've been and he uses that to his advantage. After our last contact he may have realized he's done stringing me along and has decided to cut all ties with me. I want to gain some of my dignity back by telling him I'm done with all of this, but he hasn't contacted me for me to tell him this. Will he get the point thru my NC? How long does it really take for guys to process things? We were together for 2 yrs and for the last 6 months of we were engaged. I know he really loves me, but I also know he hasn't even began to process life without me. I think once he does, he'll come "sniffin' around"...they always do:) I know having NC is best for me. I cry and grieve with no hope in sight for days, then he contacts me, gives me hope. Then he pulls back and the cycle continues. I know if i can make it thru the grieving stages (without talking to him) I'll start to get better. But when he contacts me, it makes me feel better. I'm at such a loss.
Snap22 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Keep goin with you NC, it really is the only way you will move forward. My ex broke my heart 6 weeks ago, we have been NC for 3 of those. The first week was hard but slowly I realised he wasn;t consuming my every thought. Instead I was able to begin enjoying the small things in life again and concerntrating on other important parts of my life. Just because he calls, doesn't mean you have to answer. He will soon get the message and believe me, you will begin to feel so much stronger and more empowered. Evertime I wanted to contact him, I would think of the nasty things he'd said to me since the break up and ask myself if I would want to call a friend who made me feel so awful. I wouldn't chose to associate myself with someone of his character usually so why should it be any different now. Knowing he had the abaility to make me consider ending my life (pathetic when I look back), I know he simply is not worth my time, energy or phone bill. Keep going! Trust me, it will be the best decision you ever make regarding him.
Author prisonbreak Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 Thanks Snap for the encouragement. That was going to be my next question; what do I do if he tries to contact me? NC means NC! So I guess that includes me answering the phone or replying to an email. I'm just so sick and tired of wondering if he's ever going to initiate contact. I'm such a puddle and I make myself sick. I'm a strong independant person with 2 great boys, a great job, house...blah blah blah. And I sit around like some pathetic fool. What have I become? I'm starting to get angry at myself to allowing a stupid guy to have this power over me! Once I get a little more time under my belt, I know I'll start to feel better. I'll even be angry if he tries to contact me. I don't want him to steal my power anymore. I think he is doing so on purpose cause I was the one who messed things up and I hurt him. So, for the longest time I thought this was my punishment, but now I think he's just mean. The other crazy thing is, I still want him back, so thats why I wait for him to initiate contact. Even though I don't want him to, part of me wants to know that he still thinks about me and wants to talk to me. Does that make sence? Once a person is really done, they should care if they contact or not. I'm still hung up him trying to contact me. To make me feel worthy again. Gosh I'm such a mess! Thanks for letting me vent!
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